starz98 Posted August 3, 2003 Share Posted August 3, 2003 Hello all, it has been a bit since I have been here, but I had a really bad weekend. Went to see mom and I guess I just wasn't ready for what was waiting for me. Dad had said mom was quieter now and no longer praying as she has been for months. But he didn't tell me that she could not speak. She is so weak, it was horrible. She is still taking sips of her minute maid lemonade, my dad drops bits in and she somehow gets it down, as she really cannot swallow. I am so angry at this damn disease, seeing what it is doing to my dear mother who was always so strong. I really don't think it will be much longer and that makes me so sad on one hand but on the other I don't like seeing this disease do this to mom, she needs to be at peace and out of pain. I love her so. Thanks for letting me get this out here, my eyes have been close to swollen shut since yesterday all I could do was cry. I sat beside my moms bed and held her hand and just laid my head down beside hers all day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiny Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 Yes, this disease is truly rotten. Although it was painful, I'm glad you got to spend some time with your mom. I'll be praying for courage and strength for you all to get through the moments ahead. Blessings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 So sorry your mom has taken this turn. My prayers are with you and your family. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolsdaughter Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 Starz, I understand what you are saying about seeing you mom out of her suffering. It's good to have the support of this family here as well. Tell her everything that you can think that you want her to know. She may or may not reply but she will know. I will pray for you and your family. You can PM me if I can help you in any way. Hugs, Shelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David P Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 Hey Starz. There's not much one can say at times like these except, but keep your chin up. I've seen dramatic turnarounds on this board by people who have been knocking at the proverbial "door". Take care. David P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 God love you Starz, You are going through one of the toughest times you will encounter in your lifetime but also the most rewarding. Being able to be there, holding on to her hand and loving her. She knows it is happening and she knows you are there. She is at peace, for the suffering is over and she is waiting to be let go.... I will be praying for all of you today.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 Starz, This is such a devastating time for you, dear, and I know that I can't say anything to make it better. You are a wonderful daughter and your mom knows how much you love her. I will say a prayer for both of you now. Blessings, Peg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea B. Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 I hate this dreadful disease and what it does to our loved ones. No one should have to suffer!!! I am sorry that your mom has taken a turn for the worst, but I bet she is comforted knowing you are by her side. Please take care of yourself. I will keep you in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 So sorry that you are having to deal with all of these emotions. This cancer is so damned ugly....! Please know that although your Mom may not seem to understand everything right now, she probably is hearing and understanding everything you are saying to her. Make sure and take this opportunity to tell her everything you need her to know. I know how hard it is to see someone you love suffer so much. I used to walk outside on nice, sunny days and "give" God my "permission" to take Dennis on days that were really bad. I remember saying "God, today would be a really good day." Of course, as we all know, God works in His own time...not ours. I finally sat down, held Dennis's hand in mine and told him he needed to rest and find some peace. I told him that he had fought very hard and that everything possible had been done. You know, after that it was only a matter of minutes until he was gone. I know you are in pain seeing your lovely Mom like this. I pray that God will grant a miracle and heal her. I also pray for you, that God will grant you strength to get through this terrible ordeal. Cancer is a terrible word and a terrible thing...I pray that someday it will be removed from our world! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karma1976 Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 I am sorry any of us are dealing with this cancer. It is a sucky thing. My thoughts are with you....and your mom!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna D Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 Oh Starz, I know just how you feel. I cried for days as my Mom got weaker and weaker. This __mn cancer is horrible, not only for them but for all that surround them. Somtimes you don't know whether to pray for a cure or to let them go in peace. Just remember the love you have for her will help you and your Dad through this. My thoughts are with through this aweful time now. Dona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fresca Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 Connie- Oh I ACHE...its too familiar...except your has been drawn out longer, making the torture longer. Oh my sweet friend. I'm here, and thats all I can say. please pm anytime hon. I pray for you and your mom. Rana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophia88 Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 My heart breaks for you during this tough time. I will keep praying for a miracle for your Mom. I will keep her in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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