Guest macjanice Posted August 14, 2003 Share Posted August 14, 2003 Hi I am Janice. My husband was diagnosed 8\5\03 with stage lll A lung cancer. I am so full of emotion that I don't know whether to cry or yell at everyone. We have just begun this journey and there are still so many unknowns. How do I get through the day when everyone I know expects me to continue on like nothing has changed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anniemac Posted August 14, 2003 Share Posted August 14, 2003 Janice, why would anyone think you should act like nothing has changed? Your whole world has changed and will never be the same. It's a scary and horrible ride, but certianly one that can be won!! Just read some of the posts on this board and it will fill you with hope. There is some much good information and advice here. Do you have good doctors? You need to have an oncologist you can talk to and relate to. Your job is to get your husband the very best care you can find and take good care of him. It will bring you a sense of peace because you are being proactive and doing all that you can to help him fight. Good luck and keep us informed on you progress! Annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted August 14, 2003 Share Posted August 14, 2003 Hi Janice, Cry, yell, scream, anything that will help you to focus on how you are going to support your husband in his fight to survive this terrible disease. I am the queen of tears. I find that it helps me to let out my emotions in order to deal with this roller coaster ride. I have been getting better now because the shock is gone (after about 8 months) and I must face this with all the strengh I have in order to beat this demon within my husband's body....you to will have a roller coaster ride whether you are ready or not. It just pushes you on and away you go. It will not be an easy ride, for both you and your husband will have many ups and downs during these periods of treatments. He may have surgery, chemotherpy, radiation or a just one or two of these treatments. You may want to go to www.blochcancer.org or chemocare.com. both sights are great at helping one understand what type of treatments there are and how to deal with each. Just remember, that after your husband has been through all of these treatments, the sky will be blue again and the sun will shine. God Bless both of you and give you both the strength to bet this demon..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobmc Posted August 15, 2003 Share Posted August 15, 2003 Hello Janice, my very best to you & your husband and welcome to the group, I'm so glad you found us. You will find a very caring and knowledgable group here who will help you get through this. Know that you are not alone but the this disease will bring about much change and accepting that change can certainly be trying at times. So vent, cry, scream if you like cause were here for one another. OH, most importantly of all you will find SURVIVORS here!! There are many and in every stage of the disease. God bless and be well, you and your husband will be in my prayers! Bobmc - NSCLC- stageIIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01 " absolutely insist on enjoying life today!" PS - the family pic was taken 8 weeks after surgery hiking in the jungles of Costa Rica - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peggyd Posted August 15, 2003 Share Posted August 15, 2003 Its really amazing. Mike was dxd in March. We have a few friends who call regularly, send their prayers and support. We have many other "friends" who never call, seem to want to distance themselves from us. Now, when we really need support from friends. Maybe they just don't know what to do, how to handle the situation. The world wants you to continue on as if nothing has happened. SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED! I wake up every morning and the first thing on my mind is Mike. There is a black cloud hovering over us day and night. Its like a nightmare from which you never wake up. At first I tried always being "up" in front of Mike. Never spoke of bad things in front of him. Kept all of that to myself. Certainly couldn't talk to the kids ... had to keep them positive as well. I was losing it inside. Finally one day, Mike and I just lost it together. We cried. We spoke of possibilities that might not be so good. It seemed to help. Then we got busy just fighting the heck out of this thing. I still have bad days. We all do. I try and put those bad thoughts away and concentrate on the good. Every day with Mike is a gift from God. If he had not been diagnosed in March, if the doc had missed it, he might be gone now. I have him another day. And for each day I have him and he is feeling OK, I am so grateful. Know that the people on this message board are here for you. They can understand what you are going through unlike anyone else. They keep me going. Lean on them. They will be great support. Mike and I send our love to you and will pray that your nightmare ends with good results soon. I also pray for a cure finally for this b*stard of a disease. So all the nightmares can go away. Email me if you need to vent. I am here for you. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted August 15, 2003 Share Posted August 15, 2003 Welcome Janice, I am very sorry that you and your husband are going through this. You are just beginning this wild roller coaster ride, and the beginning is one of the hardest parts. I can't say that it ever gets easy. And I can tell you that your whole world has changed, and will never be the same again. These are the things we can not change. But what we need to do is focus on those things that we can change, which is primarily how we accept these changes and what we do about them. For the first couple of months after my husband's diagnosis, all I could do was cry non-stop. I went through all the emotions of grief as if my husband had died right then and there. I couldn't function, I had a hard time just drawing breath, there was no way I could go on with "normal" activity, so I didn't even try. After we started treatment, I changed my perspective and my emotions seem to suddenly numb and I went into battle mode. We were fighting, and I KNEW we could beat the crap out of this stinking disease. I found I was able to do some things again, but I valued my time with my husband more, so what was normal activity changed in my mind. There have been emotional times lately where my heart is aching and depression sets in. There are times I am so grateful for being able to waking up share one more day experiencing an incredible love affair with my Keith. There are days that I am so overjoyed because something will happen that makes him smile, and that brings me more joy that Christmas. There are days were the only control I feel I have in life is when I am reasearching cancer and treatments and new trials and looking toward the future of cancer care, plus actively taking a part in helping him get better. However, realize that you have been hit right in the heart with the force of a mack truck by a life altering nightmare. It will take time to process that shock. It will take time to grieve, it will take time to feel better, and it takes time to go forward. Do not EVER feel bad for feeling bad. Listen to your heart and your body. Do what you need to do for yourself and your husband. And DA_N what those other people think and feel about how you deal with YOUR emotions. Everything you are feeling and doing right now is so totally normal. We have all gone or are going through the same things. That is why we are able to understand and support each other so well. It is why you will find so much comfort here, I am glad you joined us. Try and remember that there are people out there in every stage of this disease the beat it. Your husband CAN beat this. It's a hard battle, but one that can be won. I will pray for your husband, and I will pray for you. Carleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted August 15, 2003 Share Posted August 15, 2003 Hi, Janice, and welcome. I also am the primary caregiver of a lung cancer patient. There is much info and support here. Hang in there. Blessings. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest macjanice Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 I am not sure if this is where I am supposed to respond. Someone tell me if this is okay or if I need to respond in another way. My husband goes to surgery on Monday. I am scared to learn anything else but need to know. I need to talk but he refuses to discuss anything. His response is always "don't worry, I am fine, this is just a little set back." He told his boss that he would be back to work in 2 weeks, is this possible? The doctor said probably 3 months. As I read the replies to my last post, I finally was able to cry. I also told some of the people that I work with that my world had changed and I needed time to adjust so please do not assign me extra duties since I am barely able to get up each morning and do the routine stuff. I am a teacher and this is a difficult time of year anyway. I hope that I will still have the strength to face my problems and my students. Each year I feel that the kids need more and more of me emotionally. You all give me hope that my husband and I can beat this terrible disease. Please pray for us and I will pray for all of you. Jesus is my strength. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaMRG Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 Hi, and welcome, even though Im sorry about what you are going through. My father was dx 5/03 adenosquamous IIIa, so it sounds like we may be in the same boat. He is 63 years YOUNG! He had 7 rounds of chemo, has one more to go next week, then they are waiting 3 weeks before doing a scan and then he will have surgery to remove the lobe and node. They spread out his treatments because his bone marrow has taken a beating as in 99 and 01 he had non hodgkins lymphoma. When I read your post, I saw myself. All I did was cry as I tried to absorb this news day by day. I felt like 800lbs trying to trudge through the day. I, too, felt like life would never be the same. What kind of chemo are they prescribing? My father was first on Taxotere and Carboplatin but it was too hard on his platelets so he finished up on Navelbine. Will there be surgery? If I can help, please let me know. Come here for support, there are survivors from all different stages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancy B Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 Janice, you and your husband are in my prayers. I don't know how extensive your husband's surgery is going to be but I had an upper left lobectomy and was back to work in 2 1/2 weeks (desk job). I am sure he is just trying to protect you so you won't worry. Easier said than done I'm sure. Take care of each other and I will be praying for both of you. Hugs, Nancy B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 Janice, I will be praying for you and your husband Monday. Hope everything goes good and he is back to work in two weeks. I should think that the dr's prediction of 3 months is probably more correct. But determination is part of recovery so who knows. Don't worry about being upset for there is not a one of us who wasn't. Just take one step at a time, don't go into dark places like trying to foresee the future in murky water. Go with what is happening today for tomorrow none of us knows, with or without cancer..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cheryl Schaefer Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 My husband too was recently diagnosed with Stage IIIA nsclc Squamous Cell. He was originally diagnosed with Stage IV and considered inoperable. He got a second opinion at MD Anderson. He is having two rounds of chemo and then surgery planned in September. I believe they told him his procedure would keep him in the hospital for 5 days after surgery and then he must stay as an outpatient (at MD Anderson - where he is having this done) for another 5 days. The fact that surgery is possible is wonderful news always. Good luck. You're in my prayers. Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted August 17, 2003 Share Posted August 17, 2003 Dear Janice, I to am very sorry to see you needed to fine us, but I have to say, your in the right place. I was dx.d back in 1995 with Stage IIIA-B Adenocarcinoma. I had my Left Lung Removed on July 25, 1995 along with two cancerous lymph nodes and some that weren't cancerous. I was in the hospital a total of 5 days after my surgery. 7-1/2 weeks after surgery I started my chemo and radiation treartments. This is a slow recovery, but it is very doable. DO NOT RUSH the recovery. This one honestly takes time. I was driving 3 months after my surgery. And I think I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I also suggest telling your hubby to get himself a small throw pillow, one that will fit just comfortable under the arm they do the surgery on. This will give him GREAT comfort, and it really helps if he has to sneeze or cough to just put a little pressure on it. It works! God Bless and Good Luck. I will pray that he will come through this with flying colors! I know many that have! I have beat the odds for the last 8 years and I was cancer free up until a few days ago. But, I am just dealing with a bump in the road, and I will get past this. Stay strong, and Hang in here with us. We ALL know what you and your hubby are going through. Only wish you didn't have to be here. Wish none of us did! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted August 17, 2003 Share Posted August 17, 2003 So sorry you have become a member of the "wives club" here. Carleen was right, the beginning is the worse part of this ride. I thought I'd never stop crying. You do have something to be thankful for and that is that he is able to have surgery and hopefully remove it all. One thing I did immediately after my husband's diagnosis was cut as much stuff out of my life as possible. I served on the board of a hospice and my lake association and I immediately sent letters of resignation. I had to cut my work hours to attend appointments, etc. I let everyone know I didn't have time for anything other than my family. People were wonderful, they sent dinners, etc. and offered to watch the kids. Please let us know how he is after the surgery. We will all be wondering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hebbie Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Janice, Hello and welcome -- like so many have said, the beginning is the hardest part. It's like being in the middle of a tornado and trying to catch your breath. I had my right upper lobe removed in mid-February on a Monday morning and was home from the hospital by Thursday night. (Sore, but happy to be home!) I took two months off from work. Physically, I probably could have returned after 1 month, but I mentally needed that extra time. I had many people telling me to go back to work and "get back into your old routine" but I knew in my heart that I needed that extra time for my mental health! He may be saying two weeks right now, but he will know when the time is right for him. Best of luck in a quick recovery from surgery and you and your husband will be in my prayers! Heather Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest macjanice Posted August 28, 2003 Share Posted August 28, 2003 My husband's surgery went well on Monday the 18th. They removed the right upper lobe. The cancer had invaded the chest wall. Diagnosed with undifferinated adenocarcino, stage III. He is still in the hospital but hopes to come home tommorrow. Please continue to pray that he regains his strength and the rest of the lung will stay inflated when the chest tube is removed. Janice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiny Posted August 29, 2003 Share Posted August 29, 2003 Janice, Thanks for the update. Praying for your husband post-op that his recovery is without incident and that he regains his strength soon. Blessings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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