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I have many questions on lung cancer???? Im new here


Guest justjen

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Guest justjen

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hi, my dad is in hospice as my mom could no longer take care of him.....the doctor told her he had days or weeks and is going down hill every day.......i am a little confused as to hospice care...he is not getting any form of iv and im wondering why? the nurse said something about the body starts to shut down.......can someone fill me in?

regdomnick@hotmail.com

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Having been down this road I can offer some help for now I think. First never let a dr tell you how long someone will live they do not know for sure only god does. Second am so very sorry for your father and hope mom is ok through all of this. It is very tramatic to go through and to see it happen to the ones we love. Your dad should be at least getting pain meds for comfort either oral or by IV pump like a morphine pump. When the body shuts down all the organs cease to function sometimes slowly sometimes not so slowly. My wife had nothing but bretahing trouble up until 5 minutes before she passed away.the cancer just causes everything to stop functioning. Kidneys renal breathing and heart. It can't be controlled just made less painful for your Dad. Know that no matter what happens He will always be with you. What treatments has He had How long diagnosed tell us everything you can about him and his status the more we know the more we can help maybe. If wee can't help we are here for you whatever may happen in the Future. Read good news forum and you will see many stories of hope and inspiration. If anyhting should happen to Dad before you can get back to us and I pray nothing bad does; know that he loves you and will always be in your heart and you in his. Let us know everything about him and you and Mom. this is the best site to be at right now for compassion Knowledge and Support. Sending many special prayers under the gray Carolina skies. Sorry so long but get that way sometimes. :|

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justjen,

I am so sorry about your dad, I remember when my dad was sent home to hospice, and for him gradually (althought the drs. thought it would be sooner than later), his body wore down. My dad couldn't get an iv sent home too, I think that he would have had to stay at the hosp. for it. But we made him eat and drink whatever he could at home. He did ok for a few weeks but eventually his body started to shut down, he wasn't in pain, slept alot, couldn't walk, maybe sit up a few mins. at a time. In the very end, he slipped in and out of consciousness, and was very glassy-eyed. His final day he wasn't responsive at all, couldn't squeeze my hand, but did respond to my mom. It is a very difficult thing to go through, everyone is different, so I can only tell you about my dad. You definitely should talk to the hospice nurse and social worker about the whats, hows and whys w/ your dad.

Once again I am very sorry..

Grace

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Guest justjen

Thanks I apologize for not getting more into detail....Im just trying to keep from crying as I have been doing that alot lately.....anyway, he went into hospice care about a week ago because my mom could not have him home he started to not be able to walk, and they were afraid of him falling. He could barely stand, congestion, not eating, etc.........hospice was a hard decision and I think my family still isnt sure she did the right thing. his family all think he should be home but only a couple hours of nurses will be hard because when he was home my mom was getting maybe 20 min of sleep a night, she was worn out and exhausted mentaly and physically.....anyway, we hope we did the right thing with hospice as the doctors told her there was nothing else they could do with the chemo/radiation.....as of today, he is barely speaking, in and out of sleep and everyone is so upset.........its just hard to not have him hooked up to an iv for fluids...........how do we know we did the right thing?

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I am so sorry this is happening to your family.

I can't really answer your question as to how you know if/when you're doing the right thing by bringing hospice into the picture. In 1999, we put my dad into hospice. His lung cancer had spread to his brain, and he was getting pallative rads but after 5 treatments I begged my mom to stop them; he was no less confused and his neck was purple. We put him into hospice (at the facility) and he died 3 days later. My mom could not care for him because she was handicapped, and he was not coherent.

My mom went through a range of emotions regarding this. Making the decision to stop treatment and bring in hospice is never an easy one. My mom kept second-guessing herself, and after he died, any time she would hear about new treatments available, she would say, "I wounder if that would have worked for him." But all in all, those three days with hospice WERE very meaningful and tranquil. In his case there was no doubt that his body was shutting down.

Sadly enough, I just lost my mom to lung cancer also. We never brought hospice in because she was still receiving chemo when she died. I knew what had happened to my dad and dreaded having to make that decision again. You do need to feel confidence in your dad's doctor, that he is doing all he can for your dad, and being open and honest in all aspects of treatment. If he is slipping in and out of consciousness, sadly his body is probably shutting down. It's easy for family members to have an opinion as to what should happen when they aren't a part of the day-to-day life. From personal experience, I can tell you that hospice made our situation a lot calmer to deal with.

I am sorry, this is probably as clear as mud. I do wish you the best; please come back and update when possible. Thinking of you...

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Guest justjen

Thanks........it sounds very familiar.........my mom decided hospice because the doctors basically told her there was nothing else they could do.......his had spread to the brain then the bones.......it seemed to all go down hill from there.......if he could at least walk she was all ready to have him home but it never happened that way.....i dont think he has gotten up for days now......its so hard to see him like that.......i feel sick to my stomach all day long whenever i think of how he looked when i last saw him......he is sleeping alot probably also from the meds, dilantin for seizures and morphne...but i live 2.5 hours away so i drive up every weekend but i feel bad leaving.....i just wonder if he should be be getting fluids but they seem to be saying no......today my mom said she could barely hear him talk.......thats getting worse as well.he mumbles.i guess that happens........its been a nightmare........we dont want to see him suffer but seeing him deterioriate has been the hardest thing.........they are wetting his lips as he is hardly drinking or having bowel movements but i dont think he ate for a couple days now..........this is so hard, thanks for listening

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people die, love doesn't. Cherish each day and remember it pray for tomorrow. this is hard to watch someone go through this stage of Life. Your Father willbe pain free soon. Know that even though you may have lost him to this disease, He beat this disease every day you spent with him snd he will always be your father will allways be your guardian Angel Standing tall over you and your family looking down and smiling on you.

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justjen

I am so sorry about your dad. I am glad that you have found this site though. Being able to talk about your fears and concerns is very important. I wish I could offer you more in the way of suggestions or advice. What the others here have said is great. Randy is right about love never dying. Please remember that.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted as you can.

Hugs

Chris

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Justjen, I am sorry you are going through this with your father. I know deciding to bring in hospice is a difficult decision but it sounds like you did the right thing. Sounds like this was just too much for your mom to handle. Prayers for your family....hang in there!

Karen

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Regarding him not getting fluids: As our bodies shut down in the dying process, we stop wanting fluids. And in fact, fluids can cause more pain to a person who is coming near the end. From what I've been told it is best to let the patient take in what they can, as they can. And as that intake tapers off, to trust that the body is doing what it needs to.

I may be butting my nose in where it's not wanted, but from what you are describing, it may be that your Dad is actively into the process. You might want to think about taking off work for a while to be with him. I know that is hard, and not something you want to think about... But sometimes things can just go so fast. Above all,if there is something in you that says, "Go be with Daddy," listen.

Praying for you. We're here to support you through this.

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Hi!

My name is Susan, I;m 52 and I live in central Wisconsin. I was diagnosed with NSCLC Feb 2005. I have been through what I call the mill with Chemo, Radiation, low blood counts. it has been quite a rollercoaster ride for me. My scans had been looking good until last week when the main tumor showed growth along with lymph node involvement. I had been off all treatment since Nov. My question is for anyone who has had the Alitma therapy and how do you feel about it and does it work? I have an 8 yr old daughter at home and I just want to be here for at least another 1o years. Total remission would be wonderful too!

Any suggestions on nutrient supplements etc would be helpful too! :?:

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Sorry to hear about your father. Hospice care is meant to help the patient and family in the final days. I think it is a kind decision because the patient is receiving the necessary care from knowlegable and compassionate people. He is being assisted in a way that would be difficult for your mother or you. Feel peace about the decision

Mary

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I am sorry about your dad too. From what I have read, it looks like hospice is the right decision. If your dad's body is going through the shutting down phase, there would be no IVs I am sure.

Your dad , you and the rest of your family have my prayers that you all get through this painful time with a sense of peace and acceptance.

Try to spend as much time as you can at your dad's side now. I was with my dad when he died and am glad I could be there.

Don M

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Hi!

I too have went through the same with 2 of my very near and dear family members. Hospice is a wonderful place when it is needed. They take care of the comfort measures for your loved one! My thoughts and prayers are with you!

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Jen,

Just a note to let you know I'm thinking of you, as it has been a few days since your last post. I wanted to tell you again, the way you describe things sounds exactly the way it happened for us with my dad in 1999. I was so sick to my stomach all day, every day, I'd jump when the phone rang, my heart would race, and I had frequent panic attacks. When he went into hospice, he was there just three days, but my mom and I spent all our time with him. At the end he just slept. We kept vigil at his bedside, holding his hand, shedding tears, quietly remembering. And I will be honest with you, I was exhausted. My mom needed me, I was there for her because she could NOT be alone, but I was mentally fried. I was ready for it to be done. I remember, when my dad died, at 2am, my mom and I walked wearily from the room to the car, and we stepped outside the door to Hospice and just sat outside on the bench for a good long while. We were both drained. My poor mom--she didn't know what to do with herself. I wanted it to be over, I wanted him to stop suffering for what seemed like an eternity, but when it was, I can't tell you how badly I wanted him back.

It is gruelling to watch someone you love go from being a vital, energetic human being to a shell of their former self (and in my case, with my dad's mets to his brain stem it turned him into a childlike figure, which was just terrible to see). This damned disease...it shows no mercy. Frank was right in saying that hospice is a hard call but there comes a time when it's a good thing. All in all, I will always remember our experience there as a very touching one.

Thinking of you...

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