For those who have lost a spouse

[Welthy]

Hi all,

I think about all of you good folks who have lost your spouses quite a bit. (You all know my husband is in the fight of his life too.)

Maybe I'm crazy, but I thought I'd post this to ask you to share some moments of your lives together with the rest of us.

Things like: How long were you together, how did you meet, what was a magical moment that the two of your shared in your lives, a neat talent or personality trait of your spouse, or anything that you would like to tell us about your spouse to the rest of us here.

I'm not prying, but I thought that, especially during this season, it might be nice to remember and celebrate the lives of those who are gone in a special way.

Long stories are welcome!

Welthy

[Don Wood]

Thanks for the opportunity. Lucie and I were married for 47 years. We started out in New Orleans, lived in Detroit, then Houston, then San Francisco, then Houston, then Baton Rouge, then Houston for the past 32 years. We started a family and the same time I started graduate school, We have two sons and a daughter, and four grandchildren.

A magical moment (there were many) that I recall most is the realization after Lucie's diagnosis that the cancer had caused us to move to a deeper love than we had ever known.

Lucie was an artist, and painted for a while, but her real artistic love was sewing. She had a real eye for color and texture and what goes together. It was wonderful watching her put a quilt together. She even taught me a few things about color and such.

She was and is the light of my life. And we raised a family full of love and service to others. I am truly blessed. Don

[Welthy]

Don,

That's what I'm talking about. (You were foremost in my mind when I thought about this post.)

Wow! Thanks for sharing! You sound like you had a very full, rich life together. Funny how a cancer diagnosis adds another dimension to the love you have for each other, but we've found that true also.

Thanks again. God bless you.

Welthy

[RandyW]

oNe of my fave memories of Life together with deb is like this. We had been married for 1 year and decided to leave florida for North carolina. My parents are here near by, and we decided enough of hurricanes and heat and humidity. We rented a 14 foot uhaul and this was not a big one either. Sold both our vehicles for one good truck. Ourlittle Ranger, Packed everything in the 2 vehicles and closed out our Florida accounts, and took what money we had, and with daisy we left for NC in 2 vehicles up I-95. By the grave of God we made it 12 hours and 700 miles at the same place at the dsame time without getting lost and we started over from scratch. Never had a lot but paid the bills and got by wiht what we had for 9 years, 11 months a nd 1 week.

Ain't life great sometimes?????

Thanks, and Prayers for everyone tonite!!!

[Welthy]

Bold move Randy! You two had a lot of gumption.

Thanks for sharing.

Welthy

[tnmynatt]

Charlie and I met each other on a blind date. My college roommate had met one of Charlie's best friends and they put us together. He loved to play pinball and I met him at a beer joint (Yosemite Sams) where he liked to play. We dated for almost 3 years.

We were married 24 years, 7 months and 25 days. In July 2003, my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. I remember thinking we would be celebrating like them some day.

We had many very special memories including the birth of 2 daughters, a family cruise including his dad, a cruise for two (after his diagnosis) and many happy summers in the swimming pool. He loved to swim with his girls and I loved to watch him play with them. We had some wonderful water volleyball games, too. He could really spike the ball over the net.

He was known for being laid back, which complimented my high-strung personality very well. He was a very calming influence on me.

Charlie was a very giving person...and he didn't keep score. For example, he was very good at giving me back rubs and always volunteered to run the kids to school, sporting events, etc. He loved to shop for bargains at Big Lots and he loved to cook. After his mom passed away 7 years ago, he worked to further perfect his mom's spaghetti recipe (cookbook p. 114). He had a very positive attitude and a real joy about him.

University of Tennessee sports were a real passion for him especially UT football and the Lady Vols. He could really get worked up and was known to yell rather loudly many times. Sometimes it was a good yell and sometimes it was not so good.

He was a good Christian husband, father, brother, son, uncle and friend. We miss him so much. But, know we were very blessed to have had him in our lives.

To God be the Glory!

[Don Wood]

Thanks for that wonderful insight on Charlie, Tina. Blessings. Don

[ginnyde]

My Earl, where to start. Ok, he was a gentleman in all aspects.

Ours was a second marriage. We met through work. I managed a computer service bureau and he worked for IBM - no sparks then although he told me later he knew he would someday marry me. When I went to work for IBM we became friends, but I was very careful to keep it at friends since I didn't want tongues wagging at work. Fortunately, he was persistent and the rest is history.

26 wonderful, fulfilling, happy, contented, thrilling, exciting, but mostly loving years. He was very traditional, always searched for the perfect yule log and lighted it with a piece saved from last year's tree. He could lie with a totally straight face, never about important things, but things like explaining why he was late (he was always late).

We left IBM in 1981 and started our own business. It had some good years and some horrendous years. But Earl never waivered in his commitment to his employees and his customers. He was overly kind and generous to people he cared for.

Family and friends were crazy about him. He has been gone from this earth for 2 years, 4 months and 3 days but he is forever in my heart and mind. And there is not a day that one of my friends doesn't say how much they miss Earl.

I could go on and on, but .............

Thanks for asking this question.

[Welthy]

These are such nice stories and histories! Fascinating! These blessed unions triumph over adversity.

I wish you could see the smile on my face as I read these, because I can feel the love and pride coming right through the words.

Come on folks, let's hear from more of you.

Welthy

[Ann]

I think this is a great topic and I really do want to respond and share more about my Dennis with all of you. However, I just can't seem to get my heart and my tears on the same track today. I will get this done!

[Welthy]

I understand Ann.

This post was not meant to hurt, but to celebrate the lives of dear spouses who have gone. We board members seem to know so little about them beyond cancer this and cancer that. I wanted to give folks a chance to share "good" memories of lives with cherished spouses.

Beyond the loss of a child, I can think of no pain worse than the loss of a spouse, so I understand how hard it may be to put words down. Take your time, this topic will be around.

Warm hugs,

Welthy

[adela]

I met Ed at a pizza joint at the beach he was visiting his son. I did not want to phone him so I told him lets exchange letters so we did for a month. Then he flew in from Seattle for a weekend and the rest was wonderful. He introduced me to the Pacific Northwest and I introduced him to the Southwest. It was like fireworks and when I think of him it still is.

He and I loved to go to car shows. His dream was a 1954 four door and to retire. We also loved to listen to the blues and I introduced him to Mariachi music he loved it.

In a letter he wrote" I never knew what love was until I fell in love with you"

Adela

[Don Wood]

So good to read about you and Ed.

[Larry]

I met my Wife Alyce in Nebraska and it was instant LOVE. We were married for 44 year's and brought forth 9 children with our oldest son Killed by a hit and run driver in 1994. There were so many memorable moment's that it is hard to single one out. But one i look back at and it still bring's a smile to me and that was we were fishing and i went to cast out when i felt like my hook was caught on something.I started to pull again when my wife hollered out me nose honey me nose,i turned around and sure enough right at the tip of her nose the fish hook worm and all had snagged her. we laughed about that every time it was brought up.

Look our life was not all perfect and rose filled as we had our up's and down's,but those of you who know the person i am today have no idea how crazy and mean i was and i thank GOD every day for the wife he led me to because with out her i'm sure i would have spent my life in jail. As i started out saying we met in Nebraska and now i'll tell you how we met. The night we met i was on my way to rob and hurt some one and her and a friend of her's were riding around and saw me and offered me a ride and once i met my wife she became the only important thing in my life. Because of her i went straight and eventually started realizing that if it's not worth working for it's not worth having and she help me understand that it took a real man to trust GOD and so many other thing's. Or to sum it up she helped me Grow up and be responcible. I miss her so bad even the scolding's she would have to give me every now and then and she taught me to never feel sorry for my self. As i say in her BIO GOD got his Angel but i should have said Angel back....

[Welthy]

Adela & Larry,

Thanks for sharing! We all have such unique situations -- but one common thread -- the eternal bond of love.

It's good to hear these stories.

Welthy

[yellowbow]

Well back in 1996 I Placed a ad in Shelida Wood's (Globed) This is it " Peite blonde,47, seeks sincere,romantic,understanding,OTR truck driver,who needs friendship/love/loyalty for a caring marriage. Do you want a gypsy wife?" Well the woman he was leaseing the truck from at the time called for him caused he couldn't use the phone card for the 900 #. Well we got together. To find out we are both only kids. He was married 2 times. !st wife died. I was married 2 times. So we did not marry till 2000 on Oct.31 We dressed up John as a gunslinger and me as the schoolmarm sp? And had another guy be my brother with shotgun LOL Got married on the mountian top of the great smokey's with the Minster.

It was beautful. I do remmber one time we were at a truck show and it do rain and big puddles were everywhere. John picked me up and carried me over them. He was my Big Guy ( John Wayne). The memeroies bring do bring tears but smiles at the same time. I'm so glad to have have to spent time with him. Thank you for bringing this up

I did like reading about everyone's love.

God Bless you'all

[mrmust]

It took me a while to do this but here it is......

My good friend was a waitress in this small town cafe. She kept telling me about this guy that came in everyday for coffee, and that I should meet him. Finally.....after months of hearing about him......I went to the cafe to pick up my friend to go shopping after she was done with work. She made me sit at the counter and kept stalling (because she knew Joe was coming in!) I had my back to the tables and I hear her say "Hey Joe! The usual?" I turned around and almost fell off my chair! Instant eye contact. We were introduced and talked each others ears off!!! He loved NASCAR racing and was part of pit crew for his brother-in-laws' stock car. He loved riding his ATV and fishing with his son. He kept a fresh water fish tank and had 3 pet perch, Wiggy, Sparky and Spot. (yea I know......a little nuts) We had no intention of getting married, we were happy as is. I miss him terribly but sooooo glad he came into my life...........

Gotta go wipe my face off now!!

[Inkerdoodler]

I missed this topic being offline for a long while but must share... even if it brings tears. My wonderful Jim and I met in 1985 through a "singles" group. We were both newly separated, and shared some common experiences with "challenging behaviors" from our teenage daughters. I was instantly drawn to his fabulous and offbeat sense of humor - he could make the most ominous moment hilarious (I miss the laughter most of all)! We were together for more than 20 years. Our blended family of 5 children (3 mine, 2 his) has produced 7 wonderful grandchildren who all adored their crazy "Bumpa"! He was the most generous, kind, and loving man I've ever known, who also gave unselfishly to his community through the Masons. He was my soulmate and my greatest cheerleader and always supported me in my career and in my "artsy crafty hobbies" even when they took over our household. I miss him like crazy, but I continue to feel his presence with me every day and know he's my guardian angel! Sandy F.

[Welthy]

Sandy, Jill, Yellow,

Thank you for sharing these memories. I love to hear your about your shared lives with your spouses. It helps to chase away the bad memories of the illness and reminds all of us of the good times. May God bless you all.

Warm Regards,

Welthy (Debi)