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Excerpts From a Dog's Daily Dairy.....


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Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am-Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am-A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am-A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am-Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm-Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm-Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm-Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm-Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm-Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm-Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm-Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are

fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for

the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in

order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my

dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them; I once again vomit on

the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their

feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it

clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The


There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that

my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what

this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and

seems to be more than willing to return! He is obviously retarded !

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with

the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My

captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,

so he is safe...

for now...

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