Ann Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary: 8:00 am-Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am-A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am-A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am-Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm-Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm-Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm-Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm-Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm-Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm-Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm-Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary: Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them; I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return! He is obviously retarded ! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastCoastLadi Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 ...that is too funny!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 I loved it Ann. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Ann, I am laughing very loudly at my desk, the good thing only 6:45am here so no one else is here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharonjo Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Ann, That was so funny! Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 That was good.Thanks for much needed early am laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I will take a good belly laugh whenever I can get it!!! Thanks!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Enjoyed this, Ann! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail p-m Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 So true; I know this well having dogs and cats! gail p=m Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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