mamasbabygirl Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Wow, I simply can't shake it today. I feel so lonely. This royally sucks not being with my family today. I have my kids and I should not be taking them for granted, but on days like this, I am so used to being with my family, it is lonely-a BIG reality slap right across the face today. She's gone, their gone, I am lonely. I could have taken the kids swimming at a friend's house, but John assured me we'd have a fun day, just us. Well, by the time he works 12 hours and then comes home only to deal with his mom (who is so pitful and negative, bluck), he is spent. So, that leaves me with the kids (just like every other day of the week). I hate this. It is hitting me hard today that this is the new normal for the rest of my life and I can't stand it. Maybe I need a hobby, but I am the kind of person who needs people around me, have always had it, but not any more. Just had to vent. It didn't help much though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 ((((Lori)))) Hugs from me, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 Those kind of days are tough. No words just hugs. ((((((((((((LORI))))))))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 Lor-- I wish we lived close and could get together and take the kids for a picnic at the park. I'm sorry it's such a lonely day. I *hate* the slap in the face days. They've slowed down for me, but still every once in a while... (((((hugs)))) to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted May 29, 2007 Author Share Posted May 29, 2007 You know something is not right when I come back and read "their gone"-my biggest pet peeve ever. I know Val. That sure would be nice. I have thought several times about leaving like Don has decided, but if I did, who would I have to come and talk to about this kind of stuff? John is oblivious and I feel like my friends have listened to me gripe enough. I have one friend who is so very supportive and I called her tonight. I just hate to rain on her parade ALL THE TIME. I have to share "the love" I guess. I have been thinking about my mom and how she was truly the glue that held my family together, her brothers and sister and my cousins. I'll have to be the glue, but I sometimes just don't have it in me. Today was definitely one of those days. Thanks for being here to listen. My grief goes way deeper than I have recognized so far in my motherless journey. MISS YA MOM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 I know those feelings of loniliness...even when surrounded by those you love. And I know how the absence of Mom amplifies all the things that bother you...because I'm sure she had a way of making things better. I know mine did. I'm sorry it was a rough day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinC1973 Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 (((Lori))) You've been pretty quiet around here lately. I, too, wish that we all lived closer so we could lean on each other. It sucks that there are so many of us girls here who have lost our moms, and that we can only give virtual hugs. No one around me can really understand, because they all still have their moms. When my best friend complains about hers, all I can think is, "you just don't know how lucky you are..." My life has changes SO drastically in the fifteen + months that my mom has been gone, it just doesn't seem right that she isn't here with me to share the anxiety/pain/joy/milestones. I'm still trying to figure out how to live my life without her, and not succeeding very well, if I may say so. Please don't leave, Lori. I know you "get it," and I would hope that you need us as much as we need you because of that. I'm sorry it was a bad day. It's really hard to take care of other people on days like this when you can barely keep it together yourself, isn't it?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missyk Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 Lori... Somehow we need to get together...dump the kids on my hubs for a lil while (*evil grin*) and just go out where there are TONS of people and lots of noise, huh? Somehow it's soothing to me, too, to have people around me. I prefer it be at least partially my family...but at this point it doesn't even matter!! Hugs you tight...I'm sorry it's been a rough day...it was here, too. Tomorrow's better at least, I hope it is! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowergirlie Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 Hugs to you (((Lori))) I wish I could offer comforting words but just know that so many are thinking about you and hoping tomorrow is at least a little easier. Hugs...Flowergirlie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mskim Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 (((((((((((((Lori)))))))))))))))) I have my kids and I should not be taking them for granted, John is oblivious and I feel like my friends have listened to me gripe enough. I have one friend who is so very supportive and I called her tonight. I just hate to rain on her parade ALL THE TIME she was truly the glue that held my family together, Are you living in my heart or my head or both? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted May 30, 2007 Author Share Posted May 30, 2007 Today was busy with school and that's a good thing. I try to stay busy I swear I do. I started a speech class today and we were brainstorming topics that we were very knowledgeable about or passionate about. My list was all medical related, you know, patient advocacy, the sandwich generation, the care received in nursing homes. I almost starting crying when I reviewed the list and thought how sad my life has been. Talk about a major pity party for myself this week. No one is invited, but you can pop by if you wish. Urgh... I did decide this morning that I was going to try to make lemonade today, but it has been hard. One thing I did do was talk to my brother about how alone I felt yesterday and he is going to start meeting me for lunch twice a week. The other bright side, I know my mama is so proud of me for being back in school. I keep envisioning her smiling proudly as I receive my diploma. It was one of her lifelong wishes gets me up and out the door some days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 What's important, Lori, is that you keep going. Even if you feel like poo...even if you don't want to, you keep going. I think that is all we can ask for some days. I think it is more than others can ask of us other days. Your mom is already proud of you. Graduation will be the double-fudge frosting on the cake! Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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