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Am I terrible for not going....

Donna D

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It is 4 years ago today that my Mom was taken from me...but I could not go to the cemetery today. I was talking to my Dad and he was just there. I may do my day-to-day, but it still hurts so much some times. I have not been there, I used to go, but lately I just can't look at that stone. Will she be mad at me? I was the one that she depended on and today I let her down...


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No she will be looking down on you and smiling. It is not about whether or not we go there it is about teh memries and the love we have for those we have lost and how we remember them. Sayin a prayer for You tonite.

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My best friend's mother passed away 11 years ago and she asked me something similar recently. I told her, and I'm sharing with you the same...Go when you want to/need to. It doesn't have to be on certain days and it doesn't have to be at all! I don't normally visit on "anniversaries" because the hurt is more intense on those days...I go at other times when the hurt is more *sweet*, remembering the good times is easier on the other days.


Much love...

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Girl...don't you feel bad. A stone is just a stone. The memories locked in your heart are far more important. Your mom knows how hard it is, and she WILL NOT be mad! For goodness sakes. :D Stay strong and know we are here for you....but don't feel bad. The life your mother had is far more important than the cemetary she is in now. (At least this is my belief!).



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A place to go is good for us...no question.

I don't have a place for mom yet, and I need one. BUT that place is for us. Our mom's aren't THERE. I think and hope and pray they are with us everywhere we go.

And I know I don't need to GO somewhere to let Mom know I think of her and miss her. If she is "around" she know full well she is on my mind all the time.

You mom is definitely not let down...that is for certain!

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Some people need to go to the cemetary, others find different ways to remember their loved ones. My mom (and dad) are buried 4 hours from where I live, in the small town they began their life together. I haven't been back yet since Mom's funeral. I know her high school friend, and my cousins there are 'looking out' for her.

I just found out our hospice here has a garden in our Botanical garden, and it has a tree with special leaves hanging with the names of those they have cared for engraved on them. I think that will be my special place to go and 'be' with Mom.

You didn't let her down.


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