If she weren't already sick, I'd strangle her!

[fillise]

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Called home tonight and Dad was excited and gave the phone to Mom so she could tell me her "good news." Seems that Mom found a lump in her breast a couple of weeks ago and has been keeping it to herself. She has a mammogram and an ultra sound and they said there was no evidence of any cancer in her breast tissue. She's apparently been in knots over this for a couple of weeks, BUT NEVER SAID A SINGLE WORD. She didn't want me to worry. Like I haven't been worried about her every single day since January 5th!

I know, I know, it's her decision. But I know she won't tell my brother ANY of this stuff, so she is keeping it bottled up inside if she won't tell me and that isn't good for her.

This now concludes my caregiver rant for the evening. Thanks for listening.

Susan

[ginnyde]

Susan,

Sometimes when we talk about something, it makes it more real. As long as your Mother was doing what was necessary medically, it may just have been her way of handling this scare emotionally.

Glad it is nothing.

[RandyW]

Some people think that if you talk about it, You Jinx it and it actually happens worse than if you had said nothing at all.

[Nova]

Whew, I'm glad the lump was nothing to be concerned about.

I'm married to a "non-talker", so I understand what you're saying.....I guess it's just their way of handling things.

(It's sure aggravating though, for those of us who are "talkers"!)

I'm glad she's alright.

Nova

[Maryanne]

I am so relieved it turned out to be nothing.

When they first found a suspicious area in Joel's lung at a routine chest Xay, he did not tell me until he had all those blasted tests. I was working and didn't even know any of this. He didn't tell me until he was sure it was LC. So you could imagine how upset I was as he went through that himself!

He also put on a good act. He did stop smoking right away which shocked me at the time. I should have suspected something.

Anyway at least this turned out to be good news for your mom.

Maryanne

[gail]

I have had sooo many alarms that I actually had my thyroid removed last year and did not tell many people at work--I just left one day and didn't com back.

I told people later that I had used up all of my "medical crisises cards"

I'm glad she's okay

gail

[barbara5452]

Glad mom is okay, I'm sure she did what she felt was best. Breathe.....

[Littlegirl]

I also have a mom who tends to keep stuff to herself. That is one reason she never goes to the doctor alone - EVER. If there was a recurrence or some type of issue we may never know. It also helps us gauge how she is doing. She won't always tell us exactly how she feels or what is going on, but we can hear it first hand when she tells the doctor. We are not overpowering, and in fact I know she appreciates that one of us will always be there. (This was not the reason we always go - both my parents are getting older and get a bit confused about things sometimes so it helps us all if one of us kids is there with them.)

Karen

[dscherer]

Oh I am so glad that the news was good.

I believe that mom's protect us when they can. LC changes everything and I am sure she realizes how much worry is already there!

Now as a daughter, I agree with you! We want to know these things so we can walk together through anything that may happen.

Let mom know she should never do that again. (I have scolded my mom a time or two)

YOu come and rant anytime you need. We are all here to support you and your family.

God Bless,

Dana

[ztweb]

My mom did the same thing. I could have bonked her on the head! Little did she know I just worried AFTER THE FACT! I would rather go through it with her!!!! Stinker!

Jen

[fillise]

Thanks everyone. It's nice to know I can vent and folks here will be understanding and supportive.

Mom got the results of her bone scan and in her onc.'s words everything is "asleep." It did pick up sever arthritis in her back so she is going to a pain management Dr. for that and will go back to the Onc in a month. He is going to take over as her primary care Dr. Said he would be treating her for many years to come! She liked the sound of "many years to come!"

I guess I'd just like to tell the perspective of a daughter who loves her mom for those of you who are survivors and tryint to protect those who love you. It IS your decision about when and what to tell people. My mom keeps telling me she doesn't tell me things (especially right before I make a trip to visit) because she doensn't wamt me driving 8 hours worried. But here's what happens.

I usually know when something is up, off, or just not right. There's a little hesitation when I ask how she's feeling or if everything is alright. When you don't tell me, my imagination begins to go into overdrive. In the absence of good information I will worry about lots of things, not just the one she is trying to protect me from. It's much worse than if she just goes ahead and tells me what is going on. I'm not protected at all.

So that's the perspective of an adult child of a LC survivor. I realize family dynamics are different and individual circumstances vary, but care givers need good information to give care.

Speaking of which, I'm headed to NC for a long Labor Day weekend tomorrow so I will be on infrequently, if at all until next Wednesday.

Have a great holiday everyone!

Susan

[Welthy]

Hey Susan!

Good news on all fronts -- what a relief!

I understand. I was an adult daughter myself once upon a time. Now I try to update my adult kids (especially my daughter) as often as possible. I don't like it when she rags on me if she thinks I'm holding back.

Have a great time!

Welthy