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Lurker no more


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Hi everyone,

Just to introduce myself as I've been lurking on the boards for quite a while now!

Darling husband has been living with a diagnosis of NCLC for nearly 8 months now and seems to have been progressing slowly through all that time. He's still reasonably well: working part-time, walking a mile or two a day, eating with interest if not relish, but is also losing muscle and not sleeping well.

We live in Cambridge England and have five wonderful daughters between 3 and 16.

Just a little warning - I personally find the language of "battle" with this disease uncomfortable. I'm sure lots of people want to fight it out and need to believe that's what they're doing. But that metaphor leaves those of us who know that the "fight" will be lost eventually marked as somehow "failing" or "giving up" and therefore guilty of not trying hard enough.

We're all doing what we can - and for me that's to live the life we have as well as we can in recognition that life is very finite and the good days won't come by too often with this disease.

Best wishes to everyone from a foggy autumnal Cambridge!

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Welcome to the site. I am sorry to hear about your husband. My cancer was very similar to your husbands. I am so sorry that you believe that you will loose to cancer. There are many of us here that have hope. Hope that we can survive. Hope that a new treatment is just around the corner. Hope that the drugs we are taking will work. I was told by one doctor that I had 18 months tops. I was told that I would be very sick from the treatment. I elected to take the treatment and not believe the prognoses. It has been 30 months. I have not had a sick day and feel great. None of us know anything for sure when it comes to cancer. Each one of us may have a different result from our treatment. I don’t believe any of us can know for sure what God’s plan is for our lives. I do not wish to be critical of your beliefs. I only want to share with you the hope that many of us on this site have and how it has helped us survive. I will pray that they find the treatment that will reduce your husband's cancer.

Stay positive, :)


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Hi, Pipfitz, thanks for unlurking!

"Pipfitz" I personally find the language of "battle" with this disease uncomfortable...

I'm also a bit uneasy with the term, but for a different reason. It implies that we're fighting a foreign invader in the same way that we would attack a virus or bacterial infection. Many people find it helpful to think of cancer as an invader, but I don't. Cancer cells are my own cells that have been damaged in some way, possibly but not necessarily by a foreign substance, but which for some reason did not die along with the 50 billion other damaged or "used up" cells in my body that undergo programmed cell death (apoptosis) every day.

While we may need some emergency assistance in the form of chemo or radiation to get control of the situation, the long-term solution is to strengthen the body's processes to the point where they can once again dispose of potentially cancerous cells as they're designed to do. A mind game? Maybe, but whatever mental energy I devote to the cancer issue I'd prefer to place on the positive, process-strengthening side, so I can put that part of my life back on autopilot.



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