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Still cannot deal with loss


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Hello everyone! Sorry I havent posted in awhile. It has been hard for me, as I am sure it is for all of us. We thought we had some good news, mom was doing so much better, then when back for scans and the original tumor that they radiated never dissappeard, it had tripled in size and her brain was just full of tumors, so we were told nothing else could be done. Mom was such a fighter, never complained, always looked on the brighter side no materr how bad she felt. We brought her back home and the saturday before she passed, mom, myself and my aunt kathy went to get baptized, it was the one thing mom wanted to do. and she fought till the very end, her body just couldnt take anymore. She still knew who we all were and she communicated with us even though sometimes we couldnt make out what she was saying. I had my husband, brother, his wife, my moms sister from missouri, and two of my cousins. Thankfully my inlaws had my daughter. It was the hardest thing to see. I would crawl up in the bed with her, i felt so helpless. I dont know what to do with myself these days cause she was my life for 17 months, I took care of her and seen her good and bad times. So I guess I dont know how to move on, I dont think I have come to terms with it, and on top of that I also lost a uncle on april 29th so the year has not started off to be a good one. So how do you move on? How do you come to terms with it when it was such a big part of your everyday life for over a year? I often withdrawl into myself and I find it hard to talk about it cause I really dont know what I am feeling. I thinking I am still trying to be the strong on, going to day to day motions and I need to let it out, but I dont know how to do that. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Love and prayers to each of you


Brenda Sue Ruble

MATOAKA — Brenda Sue Ruble, 62, of Matoaka, died Sunday, Feb. 17, 2008 at her home.

She was born in Tazewell County, Va., and was the daughter of Ileen Fields Ball of Maryland and the late Walter H. Ball.

She was a legal clerk, having worked at various places and was a graduate of Graham High School.

In addition to her father, she was preceded in death by great-granddaughter, Jordyn Ruble; and a brother-in-law, Wayne Ming.

In addition to her mother, she is survived by daughter, Rhonda Shrewsbury and husband Russell of Matoaka; son, Keith Ruble and wife Joetta of Princeton; former husband and father of children, Preston Ruble of Bluefield; sisters, JoAnn Johnson and husband Richard, Nancy Ming, Jimmie Gaye Zimmerman and husband Brian, Kathy Poszich and husband Robert; grandchildren, Valaree Shrewsbury, Eric Ruble and wife Brandi and Jesse Ruble and wife Kristie; great-grandchildren, Tyler Ruble, Logan Ruble and Madison Ruble; special friend of family, Melissa Carter.

Funeral services will be held Tuesday, Feb. 19, 2008 at 1 p.m. at the Dudley Memorial Chapel in Bluefield, Va., with the Rev. Kenneth Gillespie officiating. Burial will follow in the Grandview Memory Gardens.

Pallbearers will be Walter Zimmerman, Robby Poszich, Jesse Ruble, Eric Ruble, Mike Ming and Jody Jennings.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the American Cancer Society, 1816 Jefferson St., Bluefield, WV 24701.

Friend may call today from 6 to 8 p.m. at the Dudley Memorial Mortuary in Bluefield, Va.

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Rhonda, I am so sorry for your loss. My Mom died 7 months ago and I struggle everyday. The pain never goes away, we only learn how to go on despite it and I wish I had some magic words to give to you to make that happen.

For me the answer was an antidepressant. I thought I was doing OK even though I cried ALOT but as soon as I saw my primary care doctor I burst into tears when he asked how I was doing. He suggested I try lexapro and it has been a tremendous help to me. I am not advocating it to you, but I just wanted to let you know what helped me. You can PM me anytime.

Peace to you,


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Hi-I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. I understand about it being your life-my Mom passed 2 weeks ago, my kids 10 and 5 are done school so I am thankful to have them home for the whole summer with me-if my Mom passed and they were still in school all day I don't know how I would handle it. I like to keep busy busy busy but I also have taken time out just to sit on my back porch and reflect on my Moms life and try to think positive thoughts when the negative ones come rolling in.

My friends say- I don't know how you are dealing with it...I say you have no choice-I kept my Moms spirits up for 22 months through this disease and I know she wouldn't want to see me fall to pieces now that she is gone. I don't have that in me anyway. I always try to see the positive side of things-we have 2 choices every day when we wake up-be positive or negative. Try to remember the good times you had, keep your child and husband close. Try to keep yourself busy. Have you gotten any books on grief, the after life, etc?? This may help you

We are all here for you. This is a wonderful group of people all going through

exactly what we are, you are not alone.

You can PM me anytime you need to talk



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I used to and still do sometimes go outside and chat under the stars at nite. I do how ever say my nightly prayers under the stars though! I think talking under thae stars brings you closer and it calms Ya and just kinda makesYa feel better. Oh and I am 2 and a half years from losing my Wife to LC!!

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Rhonda, Iam so sorry to read your post. My heart goes out to you. Your mom was much too young.

Take comfomt in knowing you did all you could and you were at her side every inch of the way. You are a wonderful daughter.

Your mom will always live on through you and all her love ones.

Please know that we are always here for you.

Maryanne :cry:

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