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Females/Males


Bruce u

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Katie touched on this in a thread last week and it got me thinking. Why do you think there are more females than males on this site ? Are there more female L/C survivor's than male ? Does females do more online research than males ? What are your thought's...

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Just with my 2 cents I'd say its a couple things....unlike us Bruce and the rest...lotta guys aren't as inclined to seek out a place like this...lotta guys keep it private.Secondly and sadly this may change....at this point there are probably more female caregivers....the male caregivers..and we see a few... are just like the male LC patients...tend to keep things more in house.

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Gee Bruce, what a thought provoking question so early on Monday morning.

Hers my thought:

Unfortunately, as Dave said, I think men tend to hold things in more. Hopefully things are changing that boys are raised to "just suck it up" like they were. I know thats what my dad always told my brother. Women, on the other hand, are the nurturing, caring sex and are encouraged to express their feelings. Think of the men we do have on this forum, they are all very open about their illnesses and their fears, etc. I think a lot of men just hold it all inside.

I would love if my husband would come here, or somewhere that he could talk to someone. Might not want me to see what he writes. But he can't even talk about my illness to our close friends, let alone people he doesn't yet know. Another example of a boy that was raised to just "be strong".

Also, its interesting that since I have been on the forum, we only have two tag team husband/wife posters - Kasey/Fred and JB/Col. Sorry if I missed someone. Wonder why that is, too??

Hugs to all-

Patti B.

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...and there is the possibility that some forms are estrogen-linked. I know the first medication my doctor cut off for me was a birth control pill. My cancer was the 'some kinds of cancer' that the label warns about.

I believe there are more young females being diagnosed than young men - although I have noticed there are some younger men here, as well. Also, most of the patients, if in the "norm" are of a generation that isn't all that computer literate.

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Well, let's just say it took me A LONG time before I decided to post. I've never been one to ask for help...Like Patti B said, I'm a rub some dirt on it and get back in the game kinda guy. In reality I still am, and you can look at my posts and you'll see that I'm typically talking about ridiculous things unrelated to cancer and feelings and thoughts. Why, Cause I'm a guy, and I don't want to talk about cancer, or feelings, or thoughts. I'm quite content to go through life having others believe that the only two emotions I have are normal and angry.

What I like to do is interface with others who TRULY understand the perspective at which we now go through life. When so many of our friends continue to welcome new children into the world, or get married, or buy a house, or do anything that normal 30 year olds do, Col and I are like yeah, that's great, we just had a really cool echocardiograhm done on Friday. It's almost like we no longer have ANYTHING in common with our friends.

The other part of it is that I believe that we are very lucky at how Col has progressed through this, and how amazingly well she's done with what is a rather severe dx. So I feel like us being here gives hope to others who have just been diagnosed, as I remember how extremely crazy those initial months are. I love the support we get here, but more so I love to think that I may be able to support someone else. Finally, I believe that my extremely wierd sense of humor in the face of all of this may help others as well. If Col and I didn't laugh at this stuff, we'd both be crazy, scratch that, crazier than we are.

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I don't know about the real stats but would be interested: Are more women than men diagnosed with can or do more women than men survive cancer? Gut feelings agree with others who think the majority of men today still are responding to the "suck it up" parenting model for boys. Still, we do have men on the site and I'm wondering if that falls in with my theory that a high percentage of those on board had lots of sisters and/or were raised by single moms.

Judy on Lake Whipporwill

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I agree with the whole women are more open about things idea, but heres a thing that I have seen else where... I also "joined" another grief group online, thinking that it was more of a local one (not so) after reading 2 posts (that come via e-mail) I couldnt stand it... it was all complaining, and whining and poor me blah blah blah crap!!! it was a caregiver site... no one ever had postitve things to say, it was depressing!!! Maybe these women (cause there was never a man posting) scared away the men!!! Who knows. I just delete all the emails i get from them... I cant even stand to read them.

i guess my point is that men just dont get all into the complaing like that and maybe it turns them off from posting on sites after reading some of it... Dont get me wrong, people need a place to "air it out" but they also need compassion and caring and positve thoughts too!!

just my 2 cents worth!

Shelli

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You might want to check the NCI for the correct statistic- but last year I read that there are more young women beign dx. than there are men, and that women survive lung cancer at a rate higher than men.

It could be estrogen-linked like Becky pointed out and it simply could be because there are more women dx. that more women survive.

Now back to the question about why there are more women here than men, I'd have to agree with Dave's post. I tend to see some men of a certain generation being "taken care of" and internalizing their feelings more. Not everyone of course- but there's an old school way of thinking that married men/father's will be taken care of by their spouses/families= and that's who we see here doing the research and getting information and support.

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Statistically speaking and do not I repeat, do not even think about shooting the messenger here cause that is ME!!

The basic statistics show that projected ACS figures this year are for more men than women to be diagnosed and subsequentially Die from are men than Women.

Here is the link and scroll down to page 4 for Numbers!!

http://www.cancer.org/downloads/STT/200 ... ecured.pdf

Just the numbers Ladies and gents!!!! :wink: Cause you know what we think about numbers here, Right!!??

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Randy,

Your stats were separated only by gender, not by age. I believe that of the older generation, the patients are mostly men, whereas in the younger generation, it's mostly women. (See the stats on page 14)

...and what about the thoughts it could be viral? http://www.healthfinder.gov/news/newsst ... cid=614902

I believe more women then men have HPV...

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I agree with what most have stated about men not really talking about their illness, or wanting to let people in on how they are feeling emotionally. Right up until the last few weeks prior to Alan's passing he would tell people he was "fine" and ask them how they were. His family knew if they wanted the truth about his condition to ask me.

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I can tell you it ain' t this female who enjoys on line research Bruce. But I may be outside the norm...so won't blow your theory out of the water yet.

I agree with most here...females are more apt to reach out and share their feelings with whomever will listen! Didn't think I would be one of them though...thank god there are a few good male listeners on this site!

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