Linda74 Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 Have been in Yale New Haven Hospital since last Tuesday with my husband (62 years old, stage 4, Adenocarcinoma with Mets to the brain, ribs, spine, adrenal glands, lymph nodes, etc. etc. He had four treatments of carbo/alimta...after the first two treatments there was good progress, but the scans this week have shown that the cancer has returned aggressively...a new lesion in the brain, growing in the bones and lungs and a part of the lung has collapsed. At this point he is bed ridden on and on fentanyl and dilaudid for pain. He has had pulmonary embolisms, had a filter put in, was on Lovenox, but with the new brain tumor, they are taking him off of the Lovenox. They have also just informed me he has a staph infection in the blood... Anyway, the oncologist offered Tarceva as a last effort. He was diagnosed right before our daughter's wedding in October (but was able to attend and walk her down the aisle) and now has deteriorated right before the holidays. I hope we are doing the right thing by starting the Tarceva. Dr. West on the other board thought it worth it...and my husband who loves life and his family will try anything. I guess I am just rambling, but I did want to update everyone. I have a lot of time on my hands sleeping on a cot here with him in the hospital.. I hope I can get him home for Christmas and continue to give him the care he deserves. He is bedridden at this point.....so lots of care needed. Up til now, I have done it all but have to admit I may now need some help..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandraL Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 Hi Linda. I am so sorry to read of your husband's progression. And anytime is not good, but during this season it is even more dreadful. This disease just isn't fair. I too hope that you get him home soon where he deserves to be. Yes you will probably need some help and I think there is lots of help available. Look after yourself as well, this can be terribly draining for caregivers. Lean on the folks on this site as much as you need. That is what it is here for. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Sandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb73 Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 Linda, This is an especially stressful time of year for those who are caring for their loved ones who may be ill. A friend of mine, whose husband had lung cancer several years ago, speaks with me on a once-a-month basis. She has given me pearls of wisdom about having help when someone is surviving with lung cancer, and to be caring of myself, as well. Having someone with you and to assist you is vital. The caregiver can fall into an area of not thinking of self. There are sources for help. Perhaps, the Social Services area of the hospital would be a link. This is a difficult road, but with help, can be made more feasible. I am sorry that your husband has had progression, but I have to say that mine has, as well, and the Tarceva route has seemed very sensible to us. I hope you have good results with the Tarceva. So far, we have no idea what it is doing to quell my husband's lung cancer. We can hope, and we can pray. Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 Linda, I agree with the others about how sad this is especially at this time of the year. My husband also said he did not want to leave any stone unturned and was willing to take any treatment they threw at him. I truly believe that attitude helped him live a lot longer than was expected. Please get some help. In order to give your husband your best care, you need some 'me' time to restore your batteries. My heart is with you. I hope the Tarceva is a miracle drug in this season of miracles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 Linda, my heart breaks for you and your husband. Whaq a terrible turn for this time of year. Thank goodness you have your computer there to reach out and pass the time. Sitting by a hospital bed while someone you love suffers must be terrible. I agree with the others, I will try any treatment they throw at me if necessary to stay alive. Hope you are both home soon and that you find and accept help. Judy in Key West Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda74 Posted December 21, 2008 Author Share Posted December 21, 2008 I have been doing it all because it is truly an honor and perhaps the last gift I can give him. He is such a gentle soul.....my best friend.....I will look into daily help and now accept more from our kids and their spouses....who have been wonderful but live too far away to be there during the work week......this is such an insidious disease and I am forever changed by reading the forum and posts by so many courageous people, fighting the fight of their lives and maintaining a positive attitude. If my husband does not make it, I will feel that we have tried all options presented and be thankful that we have had the time together, even here in the hospital, to be close . You know, the past two years, we traveled the world upon retirement and kind of did the bucket list....not knowing the beast that was awaiting....but the time we have spent fighting this dreaded disease has been so poignant and brought our souls even closer together. For sure, every hour is a gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorktown Linda Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 If my husband does not make it, I will feel that we have tried all options presented and be thankful that we have had the time together, even here in the hospital, to be close . You know, the past two years, we traveled the world upon retirement and kind of did the bucket list....not knowing the beast that was awaiting....but the time we have spent fighting this dreaded disease has been so poignant and brought our souls even closer together. For sure, every hour is a gift. Oh Linda, how poignant, how lovely. I am reaching the time when all I'll have left to give my husband and daughters are memories and I want them to be good ones. I have almost talked my onc into a 2 week break in Feb so we can cruise the Caribbean. I think that all too soon, I, like your husband will be in the hospital on my final run and I don't want that to be all they remember me by. Sorry you have to face this during the holidays but I know you will do so with the grace and love you have always shown. Another Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda74 Posted December 27, 2008 Author Share Posted December 27, 2008 We have stopped the Tarceva. He was experiencing extreme shortness of breath. We are now home on Hospice care surrounding by loving family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 Linda, I am so sorry the Tarceva did not work for your husband. May you all find peace in your love for one another. Judy in Key West Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendy Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Linda, My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours tonight. Wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb73 Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Dear Linda, I am sorry that the Tarceva didn't work. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandraL Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Hi Linda. I am sorry to read you had to stop the Tarceva. If it was causing major side effects though it just simply isn't worth it. My continued thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Sandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda74 Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 My wonderful husband, Jim, passed away yesterday morning. At least he was home surrounded by his family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry's Wife Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Oh, Linda. I'm so terribly sorry. My prayers are with you. Lynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Linda, please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of Jim. Your love for him was evident in your posts and I'm sure it comforted him as he passed. Take care and be good to yourself. Judy in Key West Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb73 Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Dear Linda, Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the passing of your beloved husband, Jim. He was loved. Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet B Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Linda I am so very sorry. I hope you can take comfort in the love you shared and the peace God offers. My prayers are with you. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandraL Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Linda, I am tearful to read of your update. My sincere condolences. Peace be with you and god bless at this most difficult time. Sandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendy Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Linda, I am so sorry. Wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaroleHammett Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Linda: My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. So sorry you've had to go through this, but so glad that you have the wonderful memories. Affectionately, Carole Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.--George Carlin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flyman35 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Linda I am so sorry. I don't know how I missed this. My deepest condolences on the loss of your dear Jim. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.