7 Keys to Surviving Cancer

[michellep]

SURVIVING CANCER

The dreaded curse of cancer can sometimes come on a person so quickly and unexpectedly that many times they will find themselves like a tiny fly that’s been trapped inside a gigantic spider web. The more the unfortunate individual tries to break free from this sticky snare the more they’ll discover that they are hopelessly tangled.

Seven Keys to Defeating this Merciless Misery

1. Never allow a dark cloud of despair to overwhelm the light of hope.

2. Believe with all of your heart and soul that you can defeat this awful affliction.

3. Try to maintain a positive point of view especially during moments of extreme anxiety and everyone will eagerly respond to your courage and determination. Humanity has always liked a fighter.

4. Express true concern for others, it will have an amazing healing effect on you.

5. In no way should you worry too much about your personal situation because if this is allowed to take place it will surely trap you in waves of despair and then put you through hopeless fits of self-pity. Instead, try to break down each difficulty into smaller manageable parts and conquer each one before you move on to the next… At first, it may appear that everything you have overcome is really nothing at all, but you must be firm in your commitments.

6. Have no doubt about your recovery because doubt is like cancer, an infection that quickly spreads to consume a person’s mind, body, and soul.

7. Bring under control everything that would hold you back and prevail over all things that would stand in your way. You’ll then be amazed by your progress. Strive to keep this in mind: “All things are possible if you have the fight, the fire, the will, and desire.”

[Patti B]

Amen to all those points, Michelle. Thanks for posting it.

Hugs - Patti B.

[Eileen]

My view is a little different

attitude cannot defeat cancer; and for many saying you have to have a positive attitude does nothing but hurt the people when their loved ones died of cancer. A positive attitude does not cure cancer.

For many with stage 4 cancer, it does not matter how happy or positive they are, it will not cure them and implying otherwise is not really helpful.

Everyone needs to do what they have to do to get by; one rule does not fit all . For some, it will be ignorance, for others acceptance--but please do not post like this were a gospel rule for everyone to follow

regards

[michellep]

"Eileen"]My view is a little different

attitude cannot defeat cancer; and for many saying you have to have a positive attitude does nothing but hurt the people when their loved ones died of cancer. A positive attitude does not cure cancer.

For many with stage 4 cancer, it does not matter how happy or positive they are, it will not cure them and implying otherwise is not really helpful.

Everyone needs to do what they have to do to get by; one rule does not fit all . For some, it will be ignorance, for others acceptance--but please do not post like this were a gospel rule for everyone to follow

regards

You're certainly entitled to your opinion.....just as others are.

[Patti B]

And I feel like my attitude HAS gotten me as far as it has. I am Stage IV and was given 12 months and in two weeks it will be three YEARS for me. I refuse to have a pity party for myself, I never say why me (that just gives too much power to the cancer), and I refuse to act like I have cancer. I do what I want, when I want, even though sometimes it might be a little slower than prior to dx.

Plus, I refuse to EVER, EVER give up!!!

Hugs - Patti B.

[Eileen]

I applaud your will power!!! and attitude---good for you and I am happy you are where you are

But others have had that will power and they have not had such a happy ending---

I love your will power and attitude but it does not always work for some, I am sad to say.

I guess the only thing I am trying to say is will power does not defeat cancer--or we would not have had so many losses on here

I think by saying attitude makes a difference is not right. It seems to be saying all the people that died did not have to if they had a better attitude? Just my opinion

Please keep up your positive attitude ---!!!

my best wishes

[Patti B]

Eileen-

I certainly did not mean to say that I thought my attitude was better than others. I just meant that it seems to be working for me.

I am Stage IV and I certainly understand what that means. But I want to live every minute I have left to the fullest. There are many here on this board who apparently are doing the same because they have well outlasted the expiration dates they were given.

In my personal life outside of this board, I have known people with various cancers who have just said oh, well, and laid down and let the beast take them. Had they had a more postive attitude and fought they may still well be with us now.

We have lost many here who had a wonderful, positive attitude. Sometimes I even have survivors guilt that I have been so lucky. Many of them were staged less than me. But altho I grieve when one of our family here dies, I cannot let it consume me. I need to stay focused on me so that I am here for my son, and I realize those friends would not want me to do that. And yes, many of them were so postive.

I have no idea why some of us do better than others, could it be prayer, faith or could it be staying positive? I know that none of those can hurt us, and maybe they are just helping us.

Hugs - Patti B.

[jstdzy]

Adding my 2 cents. I agree with Ellen attitude does not cure cancer. But the question for me is this what does it mean to defeat cancer? If I let my cancer keep me scared and afraid of living my life doesn't cancer win whether it kills me or not? If I go out with a positive attitude and a joy in my life whose won then me or cancer? I say I won and I kicked it a**!

(((Everybody)))

Dana

[Patti B]

Dana-

You hit the nail on the head. Michelles post talks about defeating cancer, not necessarily curing cancer and yes, there are more ways than one to defeat it. My attitude may not cure me of cancer but noone will ever be able to say that I didn't win in the fact that I fought it to the bitter end and loved life to the end.

I LOVE your attitude, too.

Hugs - Patti B.

[Snowflake]

Positive attitude, prayer, faith, I don't know. I think it all boils down to luck, the luck of the draw. I've been lucky, and whatever the factors in that luck were, I am thankful for.

I try to live life to the fullest and be positive, doesn't always happen, but I try.

Eileen, I hear you, and believe me, I understand.

[Bud Baker]

I'm not a big believer that attitude alone can heal the body, but it can have a very large impact on what you do, which in turn can have a lot to do with how well you do with the disease. After my surgery, on days when I was thinking about riding my bike, but not feeling all that great, I reminded myself that I was fighting my way back to health, and there isn't much better therapy for lungs than riding a bike. And bike riding is a funny thing, in that there will be days when you don't feel much like riding when you start out, but you'll almost always be enjoying yourself after just a short distance of riding. It takes the attitude to get started sometimes, though.

[jaminkw]

Here I am, always considered to be a word not allowed-eyed optomist, trying to find a middle of the road. Couldn't find a more positive attitude than I had earlier on. When the onc said "the expectation is it will come back," my reply to family and friends was "I've never met anyone's expectations before so why should I stop now" or "what do they (the doctors) know." Sounds good but the problem is when it did come back, I was absolutely devastated. Something in me knew because I'd had such a resurgence of energy while I was off treatment but it had started to diminish again. Still I mentally denied. It's taken me months to climb out of that hole of depression and dejection. Now I'm trying to find that middle position--think positive, life life fully but don't get too cocky.

Judy in Key West

[jstdzy]

There's a fine line between being optomistic and total denial!! LOL!

[Eileen]

I guess what I am trying to express is "feelings about those personal feelings about cancer do not fit all" It is ok to post what you feel but not to tell everyone how they should feel?

Sorry if I have offended anyone but I feel the post should have been about "how I feel about cancer"

thanks for listening

[michellep]

"Eileen"]I guess what I am trying to express is "feelings about those personal feelings about cancer do not fit all" It is ok to post what you feel but not to tell everyone how they should feel?

Sorry if I have offended anyone but I feel the post should have been about "how I feel about cancer"

thanks for listening

That post was given to me by the City of Hope Cancer Center......they "believe" in a positive attitude. They do not believe that given the "diagnosis" is an automatic death sentence and therefore live in doom and gloom.

[Treebywater]

Just a perspective from my side of things:

My Mom's disease progression was fast. A lot faster than some.

I remember trying so hard to find ways to encourage her to be positive. And my Mom was a woman with an iron will. She was a STRONG lady. She was a fighter. And she had a great sense of humor.

So when she died and I would hear people say, "A good attitude will really help you fight cancer," I would wonder how we--My Mom and Dad and I as a team--had failed in our attitude. I KNEW how steely strong my folks were and I knew I had stubbornly held onto hope the whole time but I felt like we as a team must have failed in our attitude some way, for this to have happened.

I listened to my Mom as she was slipping away talking about how SHE FELT she must have failed because "everyone said a good attitude was half the battle, so what did I do wrong?"

It wasn't until I posted some of my feelings about that here--about the 'warrior' language that I heard over and over again about others in the fight--language that I supported and used (and still use) myself, but that made me wonder--was my Mom LESS a warrior? What did we do wrong--It wasn't until I made that post and had Becky (Snowflake) say to me, "Val--your Mom's cancer hit her like a truck. No positive attitude could have stopped it," that I realized it wasn't *our* fault that she was gone.

And that's the message that comes through sometimes and what I think Eileen is trying to point out. Though I know without a doubt it's NOT what *YOU* are saying. There's an underlying message though in the positive attitude stuff that if the treatments start to fail, if the cancer comes back after a remission, if the progression goes faster for your case then someone else's than it must be because you're not being 'positive' enough. It's another way that people feel that they are blamed for their own disease.

During Mom's illness and after I read a lot of blogs of young people who had cancer, and this idea came up again and again there too. People felt guilty if they had a bad day. If they expressed that they felt like crap or they felt like giving up or they felt hopeless ONE DAY then they felt like any bad thing that happened with their disease was because they weren't always positive.

So I think you are right. Absolutely right. I think that having a positive attitude and focusing on the good and believing that you are going to win the fight and holding onto hope no matter what is ALWAYS A GOOD THING.

But I also think that sometimes people react to the message of 'always have a good attitude' differently than others at times because for some it feels like one more way to be blamed. And that feeling sucks.

Being positive and hopeful is ALWAYS a good thing. And it will ALWAYS increase a person's quality of life. But a person shouldnl't feel that negative feelings about what is happening to them are off-limits for fear that they're giving into the disease if they have them.

I hope that makes some sense. And I hope it's clear that I support having a positive attitude. I just know from my experience and from hearing of others that the positive attitude mantras sometimes have the unintended result of shame with some who hear them.

[Eileen]

I think you expressed my feelings very well--

I am sorry the original poster really took offense in my posting and sent me a kind of nasty pm --it was so not appreciated

Sorry Michelle, I so offended you, my post was never, never meant to take away anyone's hope. Always have hope! There are tons of stage 4 cancer patients that are still alive after many many years!

My intention was to say no one can ever tell another person how to feel about their journey. Each person has to do it their way !

We had Dean Carl on here years ago who opted to do without treatment--but always had a positive attitude. His messages are still here. Maybe he had an unconventional way of doing things, but it was his way and his life!

He listened to his birds in his backyard at the end and was very very at peace with his decision.

Yes I was stage one and am ok but my sister is not. I also lost both parents to lung cancer. So to say that in the pm to me that because I was stage 1 and imply that I do not know about lung cancer, was just very wrong!

again, I am sorry I offended you, I guess I did not get the words across very well

However, please do not PM me again, I will delete before reading.

[MsC1210]

Although I have not been on this site in some time, I wanted to just add one thing....

Eileen, sometimes it is not WHAT we are saying it is how it is presented.

I do believe that nothing you said was said maliciously, but yet it was probably perceived that way.

This is why I am not here anymore. I love the people here very much and I think of them and pray for them each and every day. I never ever meant to hurt anyone on this site but through my desire to help offer support and hope, my words were taken out of context by many here and therefore I have all but left this site.

On the main subject of this thread.. I fully believe, and this is through my own experiences as a caregiver and family member, positive attitude and outlook make the journey itself more bearable.

Warmly

Christine

[jstdzy]

That is the one big draw back with typing what you say, nobody hears the emotion and love in your voice or sees the the heartbreak and love in your eyes.

((((Everybody))))

Dana

[Eileen]

what others are trying to say

I am not saying it is right or wrong I am just saying not one size fits all

One of my friends is a widow here

http://www.ywbb.org/forums/showflat.php ... Post806408

[Eileen]

But it had nothing to do with me--by all odds with my pessimistic attitude, I should have been long gone and Katie's dad should be sitting here tending my garden in Long Island( I wish) and I should be planted under the black eyed susans!

I guess my point being --please do have an optimistic attiude and whatever you need to do to get through it--what ever way is best for you--go for it!!!!!