Just feeling sorry for myself

[RichardR]

I received my 4th chemo treatment on Friday 9/18. This one is a real doosey. I am much sicker, weak and just out of it. I look like I’ve aged 15 or 20 years, even my voice is raspy and old. My hair is almost gone and I can’t walk without a quad cane. Please someone tell me this will get better someday! I have two more treatments then a PET. Please don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful that the chemo is working but when I look in the mirror I don’t recognize myself.

RichardR

[RandyW]

I wish i had the words and the Magic cure Richard!! I really do... Please know that you are in my prayers for some comfort.

[Connie B]

Hi Richard,

I am so sorry your having such a horrible time. I too wish I had some magic to spread around to make you feel better.

I can tell you this, there are many of us out here that have walked the same walk you are and the good news is, we are still here years later to talk about it. The treatments is far from a cakewalk, but we do survive because of them.

I will also make mention that this is also a roller-coast ride of emotions. The highs and lows are overwhelming at times. Please know you can come here and someone will relate and/or understand exactly what your saying. Your NOT ALONE! (((((Richard))))).

Is this your last chemo? Is so, then you should be on the upside of this ride. It's a slow go to getting back up to the top, but you can do it. Your body needs rest and you need to allow it that rest. This is one baby step at at time, but we'll all do what we can to get you through it.

Sending you postivie vibes and good wishes that you will be feeling better everyday.

[recce101]

Richard, make sure your oncologist knows the full extent of your side effects. With many of us there's a tendency to put on our "best face" when talking to the doc, and that's not always wise. For treatments that one is finding difficult to tolerate, sometimes a small reduction in the amout of chemo administered can make a big difference.

Also, you might consider laying all of this out for the docs at cancergrace.org. They can't give specific medical advice for a person who is not their patient, but they do a great job explaining general principles and options. Aloha,

Ned

[jaminkw]

Richard, how well I remember what I still refer to as the "first six big chemos." Nothing since then has been quite so bad. I remember the hair loss first, then the eyebrows and eyelashes. I'd look in the mirror and see only a shadow of myself. Before the sixth, I told my onc that I had it in me to take only this one more and that was it. I've been on chemos off and on ever since and none have compared. Hang in there. Better days are coming.

Judy in Key West

[jstdzy]

Hi Richard,

It doesn't sound to me like you are "feeling sorry" for yourself! You have every right to feel like crap right now! Lordy how I hated chemo! I was one of the ones that got sicker with each treatment, thank God I only had four. By two I was ready to throw in the towel! But you are over half way there your almost done! As Ned said I would also make sure the ONC knows what a tough time you are having. I got better, you'll get better!

(((hugs)))

Dana

[AnneM]

Richard,

Just sending my good thoughts out to you. Many of us have been there and it does get better. Hang in there.

Anne

[michellep]

I also think you should talk to the oncologist about a slight reduction in the chemo. My husband had two reductions due to severe side effects and still showed improvement. Good luck to you and let us know how things go.

[rocknrollpaddy]

Hang in there Rich. You are in the middle of the toughest battle of your life. I'm going through a toughtime myself, as the chemos that I have been on, alimta and navelbine, have not been working. I'll be praying for you.

-Brian