jean44 Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 Well, today is another "first" for me-the first Valentines Day without Thom. My heart is literally aching. His birthday was Friday, so this week has kind of been a double dose of heartache in the past few days. One of the other things I am trying to deal with today is the guilt. I feel guilty because I have feelings of jealously towards people that still have that special person in their life. I am NOT a mean, hateful, or jealous kind of person so this is a new deal for me. I guess I am posting this here today because I KNOW there is someone on this board that knows how I feel and can kind of confirm that my feelings are "normal" and that the loss of Thom hasn't turned me into a person I don't want to be. Anyway, I really do hope that those of you that still have that special someone in your life enjoy today. I remember how special today can be. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 I haven't walked your particular walk, Jean, but I hear you loud and clear and do understand. Hope there are many warm, loving memories to fill your heart just a little today. I am truly sorry. Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 Second Kasey's comment. Haven't been there but am sure your feelings are normal. Also hope you can reach back and find a happy memory to comfort you. Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michellep Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 "jean44"]Well, today is another "first" for me-the first Valentines Day without Thom.My heart is literally aching. His birthday was Friday, so this week has kind of been a double dose of heartache in the past few days. One of the other things I am trying to deal with today is the guilt. I feel guilty because I have feelings of jealously towards people that still have that special person in their life. I am NOT a mean, hateful, or jealous kind of person so this is a new deal for me. I guess I am posting this here today because I KNOW there is someone on this board that knows how I feel and can kind of confirm that my feelings are "normal" and that the loss of Thom hasn't turned me into a person I don't want to be. Anyway, I really do hope that those of you that still have that special someone in your life enjoy today. I remember how special today can be. Jean Jean, You aren't alone my friend. I too have the same feelings. Today is going to be hard for all of us who have lost a loved one. This is also my first Valentine's Day without Donald. But each time I start to remember and feel the pain of my loss I remind myself to focus on all the past beautiful memories I have of him and that helps me a lot. I don't want to remember the sickness......I want to remember the love we shared and the beautiful moments we shared for 20+ years. I talk to him each and every morning and re assure him that with his strength he's giving me.....I'll make it. Everything will be okay......those words he told me hours before his passing and I hold those words in my heart. Everything will be okay Jean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ts Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 Jean, I don't have that particular guilty feeling, but I do find myself eyeing some elderly couple or some fit, but elderly woman and feeling jealous. I don't expect to see myself that way. I'm trying to keep myself healthy and active, and I hope to not be some doddering old fool, but there are days that I am shocked by the arrows I send from my eyes. It's still early, but maybe you will have another special person in your life one day. Me and mine didn't get serious until I was already in my late 40's. My Dad remarried at 65 and had another 16 years of marriage. His marriage to my Mom lasted 34 years before that. You just never know. When you are ready, be open, and I hope you get what you want. And don't hesitate to buy yourself flowers and chocolates. You know Thom would love you to have them, or whatever your special gift might be. I hope you have someone to supply a hug as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 So sorry this was a tough weekend. I definitely don't have the same experience, but I think we can all understand the feelings you are feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 I also can relate all too well Jean ! I am on valentines number 4 and tomorrow would be 14 year anniversary!!! so its double sad ! I understand and get YA Your not alone and Ya never know what the future holds! I know people that were here that are already remarried and doing well considering and I also know that there are people lile us who chose to sit and watch the world spin round and round!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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