Carleen Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Hi everyone, I know this is last minute, but I could really use some power of prayer today. Keith is going for his first doctors appointment since starting chemo at 11:30 this morning. I'm just so scared. So far, every doctors visit since January has had bad news. Furthermore, each visit has been a progressively worse diagnosis than the prior. I just really need some good news. ANY good news. I know what I am really looking for is a miracle, that the doctor will say this one round of chemo did the trick and he is completely cured. But I would also settle for improvement, a sign that it is working. Thanks Everyone, Carleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam'swifeShirley Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Good Morning Carleen, You're on my list. I had the same chemo drugs as Keith. I pray that they will indeed do the trick for him. So far, they have for me. May I say what a beautiful couple you guys are. Prayers are on the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted May 14, 2003 Author Share Posted May 14, 2003 Thank you Sam, I really appreciate the prayers and the encouragement. Thank you also for the compliment. I've always thought I was lucky to not only have a wonderful husband, but also one who was so easy on the eyes. He can make anyone look good standing next to him. I would say the same for you and your wife. You are also a good lookin' pair. God Bless you, Carleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrie Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Carleen - Happy to send up prayers this a.m. for your hubby. Hopefully, nothing but GOOD news today!! Terrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karma1976 Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 bit late but thinking about you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdaW Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Dear Carleen, I am praying for you and your husband this morning. I am also praying for your husband's doctor to find the right words to ease your anxiety. I am looking forward to your post this afternoon. Take care. Ada Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 You got it! Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted May 14, 2003 Author Share Posted May 14, 2003 Thank you everyone for all the prayers. What is it people say?... No news is good news... Well, that is basically what we got. My husband waited to see the oncologist for nearly two hours, just to have him feel around his body and neck and the lymph node mass in his neck. He just sort of checked him over, no x-ray, no scan, no blood work. He told him that his blood lab work that was done prior to each chemo treatment looked good, but he didn't give any specifics, no numbers or markers. Just said it looked good. He also said that there does not look to be any change in the size of the tumor in his neck, but that it's too hard to tell just from looking and feeling, so he's unsure. Basically he can't tell us anything either way, good or bad. What was the point of this whole visit? I am a little disappointed. I really was hoping for some positive change, but I guess I can be thankful that there was no noticeable change for the worse. I was just praying so hard and for so long, I just thought God had to be listening to us, and I was so sure there was going to be that miracle. I've never wanted something so much in my whole life... I really put all my hope and faith into getting some good news. It's not bad news, just not what I wanted. Sort of like being a kid, wishing for months for Santa to bring you a shiny new sled, and instead you get socks. I'm just so tired of waiting and not knowing anything. The uncertainty really SUCKS! I'm not a patient person when it comes to this. I don't know how anyone could be. I want to know what the future holds for us NOW! I want to know that there Is a future for us, a long one! Ok, that's enough of my ranting over nothing. I feel better now. I need to remember God works at his own pace, not mine. I just need to keep hoping and praying. Thanks All, Carleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Dear Carleen and Keith: I'm sorry to hear that the Doctor's appointment wasn't what you had hoped for. (sigh)! But, I guess it wasn't bad news nor good news! Howeve, I'm with you, it SUCKS!!! None the less, I am still going to PRAY for you both, and hope that things will turn around in a positive healthy way for you both!! Prayers, Prayers and MORE PRAYERS Warm and Gentle Hugs to you Both, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveG Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Carleen: Of course, there is a future for of us, we just haven't been there yet. God has allowed us to seek our own destiny, but yet when it is time, He will call, and not until then. We have nothing more than this moment. We must cherish this moment, for it, too, will past, and it will then be history. We cannot live for history, but we can pray, and hope, and have faith in what the future holds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlon Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 In the beginning, I prayed to God for a miracle, but then settled for progress in little steps. And got practically everything I asked for. Praying that you and Keith be given the same! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Hi dear Carleen, Certainly prayers are for you and I understand soooooooooo how you feel. Sometimes I think to myself.....am I not praying enough? Do I not need to pray without ceasing? But then real life intervenes and I know I must go to work and continue to live for I must support my family and after all, doesn't God know what is in my heart? And he knows what is in your heart too. Blessings to you both so young and beautiful. Peg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Carleen, I am so sorry you two are going through this. And those doctor visits are tough. I had a terrible time at first. 9/11 happened 5 months after my surgery. I had just returned to my classroom for the first time since Easter. I was nervous, and still not feeling 100%. I wanted no stress in my life. Then our country turned upside down. I kept seeing those planes . . I finally realized that I was lucky. Cancer sucks, but I have time that they didn't. I had the opportunity to see , and decide what to do. I keep telling myself that people go to the store for milk and never return. I'm still here. It's just really hard. I remember sobbing in my father's arms and telling him I didn't want to go through this. He said "Neither do we". I still don't understand it all, but I'm still here. I spent my early married life arguing about who was doing the dishes. Not any more . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaMRG Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 Carleen, Boy do I see myself in your post. My father was diagnosed Tuesday 5/13 with adenosquamous carcinoma which I am told is a NSCLC. Yesterday, surgeon said it did spread to one node. I PRAY FOR MIRACLES!!! Even when I know those around me think Im in denial - Im not! I just know the power of prayer. My father battled non hodgkins lymphoma twice and did so well. I was praying this spot and node would be benign and knew it could. I still will pray he will come through this and be cured. If you are interested in some prayers that I find very comforting, just email me, I am always happy to share!! Keep us posted. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 Carleen, I think you said it best when you said - no news is good news. Sometimes not having bad news is the best we can hope for at the time. And on the praying issue. I remember telling my pastor that I would have periods of great despair and I figured it was because at that particular moment no one was praying for us. He looked at me so strangely and said "But Shannon - remember this - even when other's aren't praying for you...the Holy Spirit is - with groans." This is what he was referring to: Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. Someone somewhere is ALWAYS praying and when we "humans" fail each other....The Spirit Himself intercedes....what a comforting thought. Love and hugs, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 I can sooooo relate to you, I posted yesturday in "Geeral" Onc. results, need opinions. I could not get a read from the ONC. one way or the other how he thought my mom was doing. I wanted to get up and shake him till he said. "I can absolutely cure her for ever" I argued with god, literally driving 75 miles down a major highway at 5:30 last night with my car windows open shouting "what do I have to do to make you answer my prayers" "are you even real, can you even hear me" then I thought for sure I would be struck by lightning cause I went so far as to say "IF she dies, then I will know you dont exist and I will never ever have faith in you again, I cant wait for you to answer in your time, all I have is her time left" I guess what I really wanted was for him to appear in my moms room last night and "Poof" a miracle occurs and she would get up today and be able to talk again and say she fealt reborn. I hate hate hate waiting but I am on that endless train with you now to see if the radiation for moms brain mets will even work she doesn't even finish the treatment till next week and then its 6-8 weeks after that for another MRI. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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