babesdaughter Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 How do you know the difference? My Mom is worried about me...thinks I'm depressed. I told her I'm sad, there's a difference......but really, how do you know when you've crossed the line????? How sweet is that though, my Mom, who struggles for every breath and feels like crap is worried about me being depressed. The hospice nurse was over working with her today and Mom was telling the nurse about MY symptoms.....such a Mom..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 Non-professional opinion - when the emotions are affecting your life, interfering with some major life activity (work, sleep, eating, relationships), then it is time to get some assistance, that is what I call depression, be it temporary or permenant. And seriously, wouldn't anyone be depressed, dealing with extra stresses today and a fear of imminent loss? Many caregivers and family here are accepting some help from their doctors. Why do things the hard way? Bless you my dear. It is a harder part of life. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 Once a mom, always a mom. It doesn't matter if we are 26 or 76, we never stop being "mom". We care more about our kids than we do about ourselves. We worry more about our kids than we do about ourselves. It never stops. It will always be there. Your mom is filled with love and concern for you and she would rather talk about you than herself, and that's ok - it's a good thing. If I were you, I would let her know that you are getting better and promise her that you are going to be ok. That will make her feel a lot better. God loves you! If you think you might be getting depressed, then get some help now so you really can get better. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoniRobertWilson Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 Hi, Sometimes it's easier for people on the outside looking in to see how we are really behaving, maybe your mom is right. I know exactly what you mean about the sadness vs. depression. I am so sad, so devastated, so exhausted but I don't feel like I'm depressed. Right now though I keep a close eye on it. My signs of depression for me personally are I'm so tired I can't wake up, so very tired but so far that hasn't happened. Just keep your eyes open and take care of yourself like your mom wants you too. Maybe relieve some of her stress and see a doc and let a professional tell you. Each caregiver, no matter who the patient, has to be experiencing a wave of all kinds of emotions. In order to serve our "patient" we must take are of ourselves. Don't you just love moms? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall54 Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 My experience is this. I was initially sad when my Brother told me he had stage 4 cancer (shock, I guess because I didnt cry) as time went on all I could do was cry, feel like I didnt want to get out of bed, feel like nothing would ever be the same again, feel like nothing mattered. I knew that was not the ME I had always been so I seeked out a DR and as I sat there telling her how I felt I cried and cried. It was time for depression medication. What a immediate relief it was. I mean within days I was at an even keal and able to function again. Yes, I was sad which is normal but I was doing okay with it and was able to help my Brother through it. I am still on it as I dont feel ready to stop taking it yet. I am taking Lexapro. Good luck to you but if you question it ask your DR and go from there. God Bless You, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 If you have an overwhelming sense of hopelessness, it's depression. If you feel helpless and out of control, it's depression. If you cry all the time and feel no joy (even those deep in mourning can smile over the antics of a kitten or the laughter of a small child), it's depression. If you are missing work or important things in life because you have no drive to be a part of it, it's depression. If you cannot get out of bed, it's depression. If you are no longer interested in your personal appearance, your hygiene is questionable and you just don't care, it's depression. If you just feel off step or out of kilter, it's depression. If YOU feel there is a problem, you should probably seek medical advice for possible depression. BUT, if you still find joy, still feel that life is worth living, still see hope, you are just sad...and counseling may help you. My suggestion is to talk to your doctor. They have tests to find out where you are mentally and if you are in danger of hurting yourself or others. It's not a bad thing to feel sadness, it helps keep balance in life. It's when the sadness becomes the big emotion you feel that it is bad... Take care of yourself, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babesdaughter Posted August 11, 2004 Author Share Posted August 11, 2004 Thanks, Becky. A very good summation. I spent some time with a counselor and have come to the conclusion that I'm grieving the impending loss of my Mother and i"m just plain, garden variety sad. I have no thoughts of hurting myself, I have a glorious life full of love, friendship and laughter on normal days. I have a sense of peace with my mother's passing. I'll miss her physical presence, but know that it's just a part of the scheme of life. We'll keep moving along a day, a minute, a second at a time. Thanks again, Paige If you have an overwhelming sense of hopelessness, it's depression.If you feel helpless and out of control, it's depression. If you cry all the time and feel no joy (even those deep in mourning can smile over the antics of a kitten or the laughter of a small child), it's depression. If you are missing work or important things in life because you have no drive to be a part of it, it's depression. If you cannot get out of bed, it's depression. If you are no longer interested in your personal appearance, your hygiene is questionable and you just don't care, it's depression. If you just feel off step or out of kilter, it's depression. If YOU feel there is a problem, you should probably seek medical advice for possible depression. BUT, if you still find joy, still feel that life is worth living, still see hope, you are just sad...and counseling may help you. My suggestion is to talk to your doctor. They have tests to find out where you are mentally and if you are in danger of hurting yourself or others. It's not a bad thing to feel sadness, it helps keep balance in life. It's when the sadness becomes the big emotion you feel that it is bad... Take care of yourself, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GayleMarie Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 I was there. Call it depression, call it sad. My mom is gone now and all I can say is the process of losing her was the worst thing that I have ever gone through. I knew it was going to be hard the minute she was diagnosed, cuz I loved her so much. Nothing prepares you for the emotions you feel, nothing. She sounds just like my mom, who worried about me up until the day she left us. What a mom. We are blessed. Gayle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babesdaughter Posted August 11, 2004 Author Share Posted August 11, 2004 I looked at your signature line and sounds very similar to mine, Gayle. Our moms are the same age.....same D#@N disease, in essence. My Mom choose not to have treatment, but the outcome will be the same. My Mom and I are very close, too.....she's an absolute queen and I love her dearly. Tough stuff... I was there. Call it depression, call it sad. My mom is gone now and all I can say is the process of losing her was the worst thing that I have ever gone through. I knew it was going to be hard the minute she was diagnosed, cuz I loved her so much. Nothing prepares you for the emotions you feel, nothing. She sounds just like my mom, who worried about me up until the day she left us. What a mom. We are blessed.Gayle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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