Ann

That was a bit quick to be picking up the equipment. If you feel strongly about the situation, I would surely make a call or write a letter. People respond differently to these situations. Dennis died on a Sunday morning and I made a special request of Hospice to please get there as soon as possible to get the hospital bed and equipment out of the house. Dennis' hospital bed was in my bedroom and I couldn't stand the thought of seeing the bed and equipment without him in it. So, maybe they thought they were helping the family by removing the items as soon as possible. I guess we're all different.

You know, there really does come a time when we need to allow ourselves to become "crazy" and just let all of those inner feelings and fears come out of hiding. I so remember the feeling of sheer panic in the days after Dennis died. I couldn't even gather my thoughts enough to know what direction to turn. I felt like a hamster that was stuck on a wheel. So, I know how you probably feel. Just try and let as mucg of this oout as you possibly can and then pick yourself up and start over. I'll be thinking of you and saying prayers.

Don, I remember how hard that was for me. I'm still having trouble not signing Dennis' name on the cards I send out. Just grab on to this "support rope" and hold on tight. I've been hanging on so tightly today that my hands are blistered...but I'm still hanging in here!!!!

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can so relate to everything you have said and know how empty you feel right now. I lost my husband four years ago today so I really do understand. It's so hard being "me" after years of being "us". I'll be remembering you in my prayers and I know God will help you to dig deep within your soul and find the strength you need to make it through this journey. Please know that we will all be here for you when you need to talk and this group is very good at hugs, too.

Which brings out the most love at Christmas for you....giving or recieving?

Thanks so very much for all of your support. For some reason, I thought it would be easier this year but...it's not. I'm so thankful that I have all of you that understand what I'm going through. I'm so sorry that any of us have to know how deep this type of pain can cut. In memory of Dennis, I'm going to try and make someone's day a little better. Dennis was that kind of guy. He was always pulling money out of his pocket to help some poor guy that was down on his luck. Today, I'm going to do a couple of things for complete strangers and make Dennis smile.

I have an artificial tree...7.5' tall. The last year I had a real tree was 2003. Dennis and I loved going to buy our Christmas tree. We always made an evening out of it. I don't think I'll ever buy another live tree again....too many memories. Now...back to my tree. I have white lights on the tree (prelit) and the entire tree is covered with nothing but gingerbread men, women and anything to do with gingerbread. It's very whimsical and everyone seems to fall in love with it. I also have the rest of the house decorated with the gingerbread theme. I have some pics I will post for you, as I can't think of better friends I would love to have sitting around my tree!!!

I wanted to share some pics of my sweet grandbaby. Hope these bring a smile. http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i308/ ... A/Ella.jpg http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i308/ ... an0003.jpg http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i308/ ... an0002.jpg http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i308/ ... an0004.jpg

What a wonderul story... Written by Sharon Palmer I was doing some last-minute Christmas shopping in a toy store and decided to look at Barbie dolls for my nieces. A nicely dressed little girl was excitedly looking through the Barbie dolls as well, with a roll of money clamped tightly in her little hand. When she came upon a Barbie she liked, she would turn and ask her father if she had enough money to buy it. He usually said "yes," but she would keep looking and keep going through their ritual of "do I have enough?" As she was looking, a little boy wandered in across the aisle and started sorting through the Pokemon toys. He was dressed neatly, but in clothes that were obviously rather worn, and wearing a jacket that was probably a couple of sizes too small. He too had money in his hand, but it looked to be no more than five dollars or so at the most. He was with his father as well, and kept picking up the Pokemon video t oys. Ea ch time he picked one up and looked at his father, his father shook his head, "No." The little girl had apparently chosen her Barbie, a beautifully dressed, glamorous doll that would have been the envy of every little girl on the block. However, she had stopped and was watching the interchange between the little boy and his father. Rather dejectedly, the boy had given up on the video games and had chosen what looked like a book of stickers instead. He and his father then started walking through another aisle of the store. The little girl put her Barbie back on the shelf, and ran over to the Pokemon games. She excitedly picked up one that was lying on top of the other toys, and raced toward the checkout, after speaking with her father. I picked up my purchases and got in line behind them. Then, much to the little girl's obvious delight, the little boy and his father got in line behind me. After the toy was paid for and bagged, the little girl handed it back t o the cashier and whispered something in her ear. The cashier smiled and put the package under the counter. I paid for my purchases and was rearranging things in my purse when the little boy came up to the cashier. The cashier rang up his purchases and then said, "Congratulations, you are my hundredth customer today, and you win a prize!" With that, she handed the little boy the Pokemon game, and he could only stare in disbelief. It was, he said, exactly what he had wanted! The little girl and her father had been standing at the doorway during all of this, and I saw the biggest, prettiest, toothless grin on that little girl I have ever seen in my life. Then they walked out the door, and I followed close behind them. As I walked back to my car in amazement over what I had just witnessed, I heard the father ask his daughter why she had done that. I'll never forget what she said to him. "Daddy, didn't Nana and PawPaw want me to buy something that would m ake me happy?" He said, "Of course they did, honey." To which the little girl replied, "Well, I just did!" With that, she giggled and started skipping toward their car. Her toothless grin said it all. Apparently, she had decided on the answer to her own question of, "Do I have enough?" I feel very privileged to have witnessed the true spirit of Christmas in that toy store, in the form of a little girl who understands more about the reason for the season than most adults I know!

Bravest Mouse Three mice were drinking in a bar. The first mouse said, "I am the bravest amongst you." The other two mice looked on in amusement and challenged, "Prove it." The first mouse said, "I eat cheese off mouse traps at home. Every single meal." The second mouse started laughing and said, "You call that brave?" The first mouse wasn't amused, "You think you are better?" The second mouse said, "Why of course. I eat off the mouse traps and wash it down with rat poison everyday." Upon hearing this, the third mouse stood up emptied his mug, slammed it on the table and turned to leave. The other two mice ran after him and asked, "What's the deal man?" The third mouse replied, "Well, I am not mixing with you losers. I am going home to screw the cat!"

http://www.yourgeekfriend.com/GrinchName/GrinchName.php I'm Crabbywhiner Crankyham What's Yours ???

OK...everybody dial. This is so cute. 800-972-6242.

There are so many days that I feel I have come so far in this journey called "life without Dennis by my side" and then there are days, like yesterday when I feel like it is four years ago all over again. I guess when the anniversary date of our loved ones passing comes around, it just brings everything back to life for us. Right now, I can tell you every detail that happened in those days that preceded December 15th. On good days, the memories are there when I recall them and they're not so clear. I am trying to take my own advice and remember only the good times but it's just not happening. My mind is plagued with memories of pain, sickness and all the other things that go hand-in-hand with lung cancer. I don't think I slept for 30 minutes at a time last night. Dreams....confusing and unsettling dreams. One dream was very comforting. I was having a discussion with Dennis, telling him how I wish he could have seen our new grandbaby. He replied, "I met her long before you did." I thought that was such a neat thought! So...enough rambling. Pray for me as tommorrow approaches. I really get wacko during this time.

((((((((((Rochelle))))))))))) Hang in there! I'll be saying prayers.

So sorry to hear that your mom isn't doing so well right now. I'll be saying prayers. Dennis had cancer on his spine and I can tell you the pain was unbearable. Like Lucie Wood, Dennis had radiation as a tool for pain management and that did seem to give him some relief. I would get a second opinion and see what you find out.

Definitely no tinsel for me. I have always had cats and it seems like tinsel attracts cats like nothing else in the world....except catnip. I actually tried using tinsel a few years ago after Dennis saw a tree done with some really fancy tinsel he liked. I tried to duplicate that tree. In the middle of the night, I heard one of the kitties coughing and jumped out of bed to find a little bit of tinsel hanging from his mouth. Well, when I started pulling on that tinsel, you would have thought there were yards of the stuff inside that little cat. It just kept coming. Reminded me of a magician pulling a scarf out of his sleeve...lol! So, no more tinsel for me.

Christmas Tree....Tinsel or No Tinsel ?

I love this! I made copies of this and passed it around the office. I can tell you that there are some of my co-workers that definitely should be singing some of these songs....to the top of their lungs...lol!

I am so very sorry for you loss. Your dad was such a well loved person here on this board. I know he would be happy to know that you are a part of this "family" here. Please know that we are all here for you. Please keep in touch with us and let us know all about how that baby is doing.

I have to say that I have lights all over the place this year. Dick really put forth a lot of effort with our light display. I think I'll have to take some pictures and share them with all of you. Most of the lights are clear. For years, I had used blue icicle lights on the house but with the Florida sun, some of the lughts had beun to fade and looked like all different colors. So, this year I opted for clear lights.

Kasey...Fred will adore you even more than he already does if you make him a nice plate of these cookies...lol! When they're warm and just out of the oven, the center is all gooey and delicious! One roll of dough makes about 15 cookies, so you can make a variety, with all different centers. They literally take just minutes to make!!!

Lights on your tree or house? Clear or colored?

Larry....I love this!!! Too cute!!!

What a great story, Melinda. I think I'm going to look at veggies in a whole new light from now on, as I compare them to misguided and unfortunate people. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving to check out a good prospect, the brunette tells her sister, "Now, when I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. After paying him the $599 asking price, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds,"It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette has only $1 left, meaning she'll only be able to send her sister a one-word message. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word...'comfortable'." The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word,'comfortable'?" The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde The word's big. She'll read it slowly...out loud... ("com-for-da-bul")."