Ann

(((((((((Rochelle))))))))) I think that all of us that have lost a loved one have a lot of those "what if's" that roam around in our heads. We all go through a part of the grieving process where we think we could have been better, done more, and so on. Truth is, we all do what we have to do to get through the process of losing someone we love. Being a mother myself, I'm sure that your mom understood that you needed to get your own wings and fly away. That's just something our children do. Please don't feel guilty about anything that you did or didn't do. You loved your mom and that's what really counts...in life and death. Just remember that all of us have the same thoughts. I still wonder if I could have done more to save Dennis. Every time I hear of a new medical procedure or a really great cancer program, I think that I should have tried harder. But, the truth is that there was nothing more that I could have done. Try and do something really special for your moms birthday. She will be there with you, today and everyday.

What did you do on New Years Day in an effort to bring you good luck for 2007? I know that many of us grew up with traditions and superstitions about gaining good luck by either doing something or eating something on that day. My thing is black-eyed peas. I think I have eaten black-eyed peas on almost every January 1st for most of my life. My mom was a real stickler about this tradition.

Bobby...I'm not a smoker so I don't really know what a tough thing this musat be for you to do. However, I do want to chime in here and wish you the best of luck and say congratulations on taking this major step. My secretary is also quitting. Today will be day number 2 for her not having a cigarette. Yesterday was a bit rough for her but she made it through. I will certainly share some of this great information with her. My hat's off to ya Bobby!!!

Sarah...I am so very sorry for your loss.

I'm sure we can all think of New Years resolutions that we have tossed along the wayside, sometimes before they ever began. I know that year after year, I have made the same resolutions, always having the best of intentions. After rarely following through on most of them (i.e. losing weight, exercising faithfully) I have decided to take a different approach. I'm merely going to decide to do a few things differently in 2007. I'm going to be a little nicer to myself. I'm going to make time to do things I enjoy...things like reading, crafting, scrapbooking. I'm going to try and do more to help others and do more volunteer work. So, all of these are things I enjoy. What are you going to do different in 2007 ?

(((((((((Kasey)))))))))) Sending big hugs and saying lots of prayers for you. I can't imagine how terrible itching AND coughing at the same time must be. Hopefully, the doctor will be able to fix you right up and get you ready for those scans.

. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 2. A day without sunshine is like. Night. 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers 4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 6. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 7. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. 11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. 15. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. 19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 20 Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines 21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. 23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened . 25. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. 26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate antidepressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to. 3. Buy a TIVO, tape your late night shows and get more sleep. 4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement: My purpose is to___________ today. 5. Live with the 3 E's. Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy. 6. Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2006. 7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, qigong and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives. 8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6. 9. Dream more while you are awake. 10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants. 11. Drink green tea &plenty of water and eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds &walnuts. 12. Try to make at least 3 people smile each day. 13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life. 14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment. 15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime. 16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card. 17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away. 18. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished____________. 19. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed. 20. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride

Do you have any words, that for no good reason whatsoever, are just "negative" to you? I know we all hate the word cancer but let's think of some others. Here are a few of mine.... Wad. Wad just sounds like a bad word. Crotch. That's another one. Sure, it refers to a taboo area of the anatomy, but strangely that is not why I don't like it...it just SOUNDS ugly. Moist is another word. Moist makes me think of something that is slimey and grubby and icky. Seeing that word in a food description can make me gag. I don't like belly, tummy, or gut. No real reason, because stomach and abdomen are fine. Now...share a few words you don't like.....

Rochelle...I am so very sorry that you have so much to deal with right now. I wish I could give you an "in person" hug to let you know how much I care! Don't ever feel that you are grieving in the "wrong" sort of way. The grieving process is something that is very unique for each od us and no two people are going to react the exact same way to a loss. As I'm sure you already know, there are so many different stages of grief and each of us approach those stages at different times along the way. You probably did begin the grieving process when you felt that you might lose your dear mom to this terrible disease. I think I started grieving the day Dennis was diagnosed and I heard the words incureable, inoperable but we can buy some time with treatment. When Dennis died, I had already been grieving for 10 months and managed to get through those days in fairly good shape....or so I thought. Looking back, there are so many things I don't recall about the time immediately after Dennis died. So, I guess I wasn't wound together quite as well as I thought. I believe that God gives us the ability to stay "numb" for a while in order that we can make important decisions and get things taken care of. Just remember that my prayers are with you and I'm here if you need to talk.

Just reading that list brings tears to my eyes. As I ws scrolling down the list, many memories of all those wonderful friends came to mind.

((((((((((((Pat)))))))))))

((((((((((((((((((Sue)))))))))))))))))) I'm here for you and share your pain. Please know that I'm thinking of you and understanding just where your are!

((((((((((((Janet))))))))))))) Please fell me gently squeezing your hand, as you make it through this difficult day. I must tell you that I think the epitaph at your beloveds resting pladce is probably the most beautiful one that I have ever read. Those words are a true testimony to the love the two of you shared. I'll be thinking of you throughout the day and saying a prayer that God will touch you on your shoulder and walk beside you today.

I so often think of Dean Carl and remember what a truly amazing and courageous person he was. He had a very special talent to touch lives with his words. There were so many time that his words helped me to pull myself up off the ground and remember that although Dennis was gone, I was still alive. I hope Dean Carl knows what an important influence he was for me when I was on the path toward healing. You know, I'm sure he does!!!

Merry Christmas to you, Chris.

Frank....never underestimate the powers of chocolate donuts and beer! Together, I'm sure they have magical healing powers, yet to be discovered by the scientific community! You just hold on to that upbeat attitude and keep eatin', chuggin' and swinging those clubs and I'm sure that fat lady won't open her mouth...not a note! Always remember that you have a huge cheering section, with Connie as the head cheerleader! We love ya Frank!!!

Geri....Merry Christmas to you, my friend. I love your ability to always find something to be light hearted and laugh about!!! PS...Have you tried the littel reset button on your disposal?

I know we're all crazy right now, trying to take care of last minute details that must be done before the December 25th arrives. Funny how I vow each year to take care of these things way ahead of time but each year, I'm still behind just days before Christmas! As my sweet Dennis used to say, there's just never enough time. So, while there's time, I want to wish each and every one of you a very merry Christmas. I am so thankful for each of you and all the love and support I have recieved from you. Our family is so special and we're truly tied together with heart strings! Love and caring for each other is what gets us all through this journey that we are on. I love each of you with all my heart. I value and cherish the special friendships that have been on this board! So, my friends, have a wonderful Christmas and let's keep the spirit of this special day forever in our hearts!

Have you ever gone Christmas caroling?

I think this is a great topic and I really do want to respond and share more about my Dennis with all of you. However, I just can't seem to get my heart and my tears on the same track today. I will get this done!

Dennis always laughed through his illness. He and his doctor hit it off right from the start and joking with each other was something that happened at each visit. Dennis and his lifelong best friend always loved "fart jokes." Some of the best laughs I ever heard Dennis have were when he would have a serious case of "chemo farts"...as Dennis would refer to them. Humor was a huge part of him making it through his treatment. That is why I still try and remain so active on this particular forum.

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http://www.noradsanta.org/en/default.php

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