Ann

When eating spaghetti, (while on your plate) do you mix the sauce with the noodles or leave it in a pile on top of the noodles? Do you cut up your spaghetti or eat it long?

Got this in my email from a friend and had to share this with you. I hope Becky Snowflake reads this, as she loves chocolate! The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!! DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: WOW! Look at you! ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: What did I do wrong? SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars. ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that? ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: What did you do all day? SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today. SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe! ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate. 13 Things PMS Stands For: 1. Pass My Shotgun 2. Psychotic Mood Shift 3. Perpetual Munching Spree 4. Puffy Mid-Section 5. People Make me Sick 6. Provide Me with Sweets 7. Pardon My Sobbing 8. Pimples May Surface 9. Pass My Sweatpants 10. Pissy Mood Syndrome 11. Plainly; Men Suck 12. Pack My Stuff...... ..And my favorite one... 13. Potential Murder Suspect Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings. Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds. Here have some chocolate.....

Sharyn....Your little Gavin is absolutely adorable. He is so very lucky to have such a wonderful Grandma. I think the medal was a wonderful idea. I know your dear father is smiling down on this little guy!

So very sorry for your loss. This is such a beautiful picture of your mother and your baby daughter.

Jen, I cannot even think of any words that might ease your feeling of emptiness right now. I remember how I felt soon after losing my dear, sweet mother. I realized, almost immediately, that I had lost the best friend I would ever have. I also realized that this beautiful woman was the only person that would ever love me, unconditionally. Soon after losing my mom, I began to feel that she was truly a part of me, living inside my heart. As time went by, I began to say and do things that were so very reminisence of the way my mom did them. It was almost as if she and I had become one person. To this day, I miss her dearly and think of all the wonderful things in my life that she has missed...like seeing my children grow into wonderful young men. I truly pray that your lonely times turn into better ones.

Please remember Ken and Karen (Karhart) in your prayers. Please see my detailed post in the General forum.

I just got off the phone with Karen and she asked me to update you on Ken's condition. Ken told Karen that he did not want to participate in any more clinical trials and asked her to call Hospice. This request was very surprising to Karen, as Ken had been opposed to calling Hospice at this time. They have met the nurses and social worker that will be caring for Ken (and Karen). A doctor and nurse are coming to their house at 1:00 today. For the last four days, Kens appetite has been all but gone. Karen was able to coax into eating a small amount yesterday. Karen is so thankful that Kens pain is well under control. Their three children and Kens sisters will be arriving in Melbourne this week. Please remember Ken and Karen in your prayers. I will keep everyone posted as I talk with Karen.

Good One, Frank!

Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were having breakfast at the White House. The attractive waitress asks Cheney what he would like, and he replies, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit." "And what can I get for you, Mr. President?" George W. replies with his trademark wink and slight grin, "How about a quickie this morning?" "Why, Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims "How rude! You're starting to act like Mr. Clinton, and you've only been in your second term of office for a year! '' As the waitress storms away, Cheney leans over to Bush and whispers..."It's pronounced 'keesh', George ..... 'quiche'."

Can you believe this story in our newspaper today? This is a true...yet disturbing....story. MOSS BLUFF, Fla. - A man has been arrested for fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet tissue in the home, authorities said. Franklin Paul Crow, 56, was charged Monday with homicide in the death of Kenneth Matthews, 58, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office. Crow told investigators that the men were fighting over the weekend about the toilet tissue when Matthews pulled out a rifle. Crow said he then began beating Matthews with the sledgehammer and claw hammer, according to an affidavit. Capt. Thomas Bibb said Crow initially denied his involvement with the crime, but confessed when questioned. Matthews was beaten so badly he had to be identified through his fingerprints, detectives said. Crow was being held at the Marion County jail without bond. It was not immediately known whether he had an attorney. Moss Bluff is in the Ocala National Forest southeast of Ocala.

Debbie...so very sorry.

This is great news for you and Alan! I know this baby is already spoiled by her grandpa while he's visiting!

How Sweet!!!

Bless You

Sue...My heart is breaking for you. I know how hard those words were for you and Mike to hear. Keep your chin up and know we are all saying lots of prayers for you and Mike. I pray the doctor will be able to find something to help make Mike comfortable.

So very good to hear from you, Missy. I am so glad your mother is able to travel. She must be having a ball in Vegas! I'm even happier to see that she is able to enjoy that new grandchild. What a blessing her family must be to her. I have been thinking about you and am so glad you gave us an update.

Fay...so very glad you are remaining comfortable and have access to medications that are working for you. I am continuing to remember you in my thoughts and prayers.

Do you say gesundheit or bless you when you hear a stranger sneeze? ****

So very saddened by this news. Jen was a good friend to all of us. She will be so missed. I will be remembering her family in my prayers.

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?" <><><><><><><> An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!" <><><><><><><> An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly. The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night? <><><><><><><> Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

Vacuum

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between 2 missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so he's on her level and asks " do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?" She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a tiny quite voice, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit"

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So.... you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days". Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God." The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."

Sue, I'm remembering you and Mike in my prayers today. I hope there is something the doctor can do to relieve some of these terrible symptoms.