Ann

The church gossip Mildred, the church gossip, and self appointed monitor of the church's morale's, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused Henry, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Henry and several others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing. Henry, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, Henry quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house...walked home...and left it there all night. You gotta love Henry

The Little Ghost A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper, so he used his hand. In his haste to get back to class he forgot to wash, so he made a closed fist to hide it. When he got back to class, his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?" The boy said, "A little ghost, and if I open my hand he'll get scared away." He was then sent to the principal's office and the principal asked him, what do you have in your hand?" So the little boy said, "A little ghost and if I open my hand he'll get scared away." He was then sent home and his Mom asked him, "What do you have in your hand? So again the little boy said, "A little ghost and if I open my hand he will get scared away." Then his Mom got really mad and yelled, "Open your hand NOW!" And the little boy said, "Oh great Mom, now look what you did, you scared the poop out of him!"

One of our friends is hurting and everyone feels the pain. one of our members in crises and we post our warm hugs again. We would come to you if we could, and then sit down by your side, but please feel our love from afar for in our family we take pride.

Suddenly, Frank realized that he was a member of the Rolling Stones. His next gig was....

The First Kiss At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I like you so much!!" "No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" "NO, no. I just can't." "Pleeeeease?..." Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom.

The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Please share with us your most memorable Valentine's Day memories.

icicle

I pray that Fay will be able to join her family at home very soon. I know it must be so heartbreaking for her being away and feeling out of touch. Fay is a very strong and determined lady. If anyone can pull through a tough situation, it will surely be our Fay. Connie, thanks for keeping us updated on Fay's condition. I'm sure she values your devoted friendship.

Someone sent this to me in an e-mail. Sadly, I can identify with almost all of it. If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it -- almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

True sharing in Marriage............Priceless He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them." As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - They were used to sharing everything. The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink. Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything." As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting for?" She answered (This is great) ^ ^ ^ "THE TEETH."

Quiet night at home. Roses or violets ?

Count me in Becky Snowflake! I'm not a cancer patient but I'll have some of the chocolate as a preventative measure.

Pam, I am so very sorry to read of Joel's passing. I am so glad you were able to be there by his side. I know just how you feel about being there with him at the end and what a moving experience that was. It's something we can never really put into words. I pray that God will help you through this painful time.

Remembering your pastor and Sharon in my prayers.

We've done this before and know it can be fun. So here's how it works I will start with one line, like once upon a time, then the next poster will come up with a line like I went to the store, then the next poster will make up another line and so on! So lets make up a crazy whacky story! _________________________________ I'll start.......... I was walking down the street and........ __________________

I scored 33. This test really seemed to fit my personality. sometimes, these things are way off.

Here ya go ... try this. Below is Dr. Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55 -- he did this test on Oprah -- she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out. Read on, this is very interesting! Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now - not who you were in the past. No one else will ever see your answers, so be brutally honest with yourself. Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers. Ready?? Begin... 1. When do you feel your best? a) in the morning during the afternoon and early evening c) late at night 2. You usually walk... a) fairly fast, with long steps fairly fast, with little steps c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face d) less fast, head down e) very slowly 3. When talking to people you... a) stand with your arms folded have your hands clasped c) have one or both your hands on your hips d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair 4. When relaxing, you sit with... a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side your legs crossed c) your legs stretched out or straight d) one leg curled under you 5. When something really amuses you, you react with... a) big appreciated laugh a laugh, but not a loud one c) a quiet chuckle d) a sheepish smile 6. When you go to a party or social gathering you... a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you b)make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know c)make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed 7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted ...... do you a) welcome the break feel extremely irritated c)vary between these two extremes 8. Which of the following colors do you like most? a) Red or orange black c) yellow or light blue d) green e) dark blue or purple f) white g) brown or gray 9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going >to sleep.... a) stretched out on your back stretched out face down on your stomach c) on your side, slightly curled d) with your head on one arm e) with your head under the covers 10. You often dream that you are... a) falling fighting or struggling c) searching for something or somebody d) flying or floating e) you usually have dreamless sleep f) your dreams are always pleasant POINTS: 1. (a) 2 ( 4 © 6 2. (a) 6 ( 4 © 7 (d) 2 (e) 1 3. (a) 4 ( 2 © 5 (d) 7 (e) 6 4. (a) 4 ( 6 © 2 (d) 1 5. (a) 6 ( 4 © 3 (d) 5 (e) 2 6. (a) 6 ( 4 © 2 7. (a) 6 ( 2 © 4 8. (a) 6 ( 7 © 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1 9. (a) 7 ( 6 © 4 (d) 2 (e) 1 10. (a) 4 ( 2 © 3 (d) 5(e) 6 (f) 1 Now add up the total number of points. OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you. 51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate. 41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out. 31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken. 21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature. UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

These are actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world famous international institute of answering machine answers. 1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here, so leave a message. 3. Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. 4. Hi, Now you say something. 5. Hi, I'm not at home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. 6. Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you? 7. (From Japanese friend) He-lo! This is Santo. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave "sexy message," I call you sooner! 8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. 9. Hello, You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give charity through their office and do not need their pictures taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you. 10. This is not an answering machine. This is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call. 11. Hi. I am probably home. I'm avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. 12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. 13. If you are a burglar, then we're at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't answer the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it is safe to leave us a message. 14. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. 15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right, real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you.

Creek. If you're from Tennessee (where I come from) this may be pronounced "crick" Spaghetti with Meatballs or Meat Sauce

tangerine

This is a two part question. One part is for the girls and one for the guys. Girls...Which of the following would be your favorite Valentines Day gift? Candy Flowers Jewelry Dinner Out Home Cooked Dinner by Significant Other Guys....What is your idea of a perfect Valentines Day gift you would like to recieve???

Just beautiful, Larry. I know of one special angel, Alyce, that inspired you to write this poem!

I hope someone has an answer for this post! I would love to know how she is doing!!!

Cindy, you are a true inspiration for so many people with sclc. You give people a reason to have hope. I was one of those people that read the dreadful statistics and had nothing else to believe. You are a living example that sclc does have survivors!!! You are such a very special person and I sincerely congratulate you at this five year mark!!!