Ann

Come on Kasey. It's not nice to leave us hanging. Inquiring minds want to know...lol!

Ginny...You can't buy wine in the supermarkets in your state? What a down right shame. All of the supermarkets here have good wine selections. Just come on down and do some shopping with me!!! One of my favorite little markets even has free beer while you shop. Hear that Frank???

These are great. NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt! HONESTY My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago." OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!" DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning." SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear

((((((((((((((((((Beth)))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((Karen)))))))))) I understand. Please do post a new picture of our sweet little Faith. I'm sure that bright little one will soon be filling your home with beautiful music from a new violin!

King Crab Legs...Babyback Ribs......Roasts Like Ginny, Id have to buy a freezer!!!

Carol... No bad news is certainly good news in my book. I love Don Wood's way with words! I'm so glad you have good news! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

Leslie...sorry you're having such a rough time of things right now. I'm praying that things improve really soon. Just kick back and enjoy this well needed break. We'll love having you around for a week!

Thank you God for answering our prayers! Kasey, I am so very happy for you and Fred! I know that this news lifts a great burden from your shoulders! YES!!!! This news has made my day! I had already said "Happy Thursday" to someone this morning but really had no idea why. Now, I know why today is Happy Thursday! A poster girl....I'm really impressed! Very proud of you. The doctor certainly has good taste.

Great to hear that you are coming along so well! I'm also glad to hear that you have such a great guy taking care of things while you get better. I hope the PT does wonders for you. I'm still sending hugs your way and saying prayers for you and Brian.

Looks like our Cindi has been fishing again. This one is so big she had to have someone else hold it up for her!

Congratulations ! You have just won a five minute shopping spree in your favorite supermarket. You can fill your cart, for free, with anything you can fit in your cart in five minutes. What are the first three things you will put in your cart?

I Wish” I wish you a shaft of sunlight on the gloomiest of days. I wish you a long, lazy morning with breakfast in bed. I wish that no matter how much it rains, your socks never get wet. I wish you a kiss in the moonlight from someone you love. I wish you always get a seat by a window. I wish you patience, because sometimes the world will insist on walking when you want to run. I wish you the chance to abandon the fear of dancing badly at weddings. I wish you a good memory, except for grievances. I wish you rainbows and fireworks. I wish that no matter how old you are, at least once a year you splash in a puddle. I wish that you never fear failure, for doing so makes it hard to succeed. I wish that you’re never the last to laugh. I wish you a mountain to climb and the will to climb it. I wish you passion. I wish you the vision that lets you see the good in others and the faults in yourself. I wish that you know where the fuse box whenever the lights go out. I wish you heroes. I wish that when you’re blessed with old age, you have memories to feast on and a mind that’s still hungry. I wish that no matter how tall you walk, you never look down on those around you. I wish you the strength to face your fears, to recognize them as part of yourself, and still move on. I wish that you find your own path through the forest. I wish you courage. I wish that once a year, you ditch work early and go see a movie in the afternoon. I wish you laugh lines, not wrinkles. I wish you the sense to laugh at the world and all it’s absurdities, and the wisdom to laugh at yourself before others do. I wish that you see that beauty lies in the shadows as well as in the sun. I wish that you can feel my hand in yours whenever you need it. I wish you a home as welcoming as a mother’s embrace. I wish that you always have one wish left.

Larry, Dennis did have some problems with this. We had to postpone chemo several times because of this. Sorry to hear your wife is having a problem. Hope things get straightened out soon.

Welcome back, Irene. It is good to hear from you. Please stay with us.

Welcome, Michael. I'm so glad you found this board. You will find lots of support from members of this board. Please yell if there is ever anything we can do to help.

Welcome to our family, Ginnie. Wow...two Ginnie's with different spellings! I just love the "Ginny" gal, so I know with the same name you're a keeper, also! Looking forward to knowing you better!

YIPPEE!!! HOORAY!!!!WA-HOO!!! Love GREAT news like this!!!! Thanks for letting us know. So very happy for you!

Good one Amy! Thanks for the laugh!

MARTHA STEWART'S TIPS FOR REDNECKS Never take a beer to a job interview. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. If you have to vacuum the bed it's time to change sheets. Even if you're CERTAIN that you are included in the will ... it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral. DINING OUT When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label. ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME A centerpiece for the table should NEVER be prepared by a taxidermist. Do NOT allow the dog to eat at the table ... no matter how good his manners are. PERSONAL HYGIENE While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should done in private using one's OWN truck keys. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of money. Dirt & grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as it tends to detract from a woman's jewelry & alter the taste of finger foods. DATING (OUTSIDE THE FAMILY) Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the 1st date. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wantin' to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall 2 years ago. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday". If the latter is the answer it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. THEATER ETIQUETTE Crying babies should be taken to the lobby & picked up as soon as the movie has ended. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they cannot hear you. WEDDINGS Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund & a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks & shoes for this special occasion. DRIVING ETIQUETTE Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires ALWAYS has the right of way. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is not polite to ask her to bring back beer too. Do NOT lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

Valentines Prayers for Men & Women FEMALE PRAYER Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?" I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend. Amen. MALE PRAYER I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat. Amen.

An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset. "What happened, Mother?" the daughter asked. "I had to slap his face three times!" "You mean he got fresh?" "No," she answered, "I thought he was dead."

Muriel...you took the words right out of my mouth about Ry! She sure does a lot of "living."

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house." The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them." "For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house." Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. To all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers.

Yep..Here's that giggle you were looking for! This was cute!