I totally understand where you’re at right now. I think most of us here do as well. Feeling consumed is completely normal. I know it’s hard and right now, the intensity of the emotion isn’t something you can will to stop. There’s a gradual process with ups and downs. Eventually the ups outnumber the downs. In the beginning this is an hour by hour process. It took me six months and three CT scans before there was a sense of normalcy. Try not to bottle up, if you want to cry, sob, if you want to yell, scream, angry-hit a pillow.
Keep talking to us, we will be here to help along the way. You can do it. Believe in yourself.