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Beth, the update on Bill was great news. I am so happy to hear is doing as well as you described. WONDERFUL news. Keep loving and praying.

I would guess the biggest disagreement I had with my parents (and there were many) was the summer I was 17. My parents had just informed me the family was moving to Houston. I pretty much told them have a great life because I was just about to start my Senior year in high school and was only 4 months from my 18th birthday and I was not going with them. My parents were having major marital issues and probably should have divorced years before then, but they were hoping this move would help the marriage. Well my parents insisted I go to Houston with the family, I did, I turned 18 and moved right back to California on my own and finished high school with my friends. By May my parents were filing for divorce and my mom and sister moved back to California and my Dad and brother stayed in Texas. Now I am not a parent so it is hard for me to truly say one way or another if I would be willing to leave my child behind, it would depend on if there was a family I trusted or an acutal family memeber they could live with.

Melinda, I know how difficult those words are. My husband told me last week he wants to finalize his funeral arrangements so I will not have to worry about it when the "time" comes. although his is doing fairly well right now, since he had mets to his brain he describes himself as a ticking time bomb. Try and stay strong and I will pray for good results to your mom's CT scan

My Husband was told by both his Dr.s not to drive once this brain mets were found, even though he has had no siezures. He has not actually had his lic. taken away, his Dr.s have just advised against driving. I am going tomorrow night to finalize Alan's arrangements (he wants to be cremated), my sister is coming with me as I do not know if I can handle it on my own and Alan does not want to go (I do not want him there either). needless to say it will probably be one of the worst nights of my life. Debbie Husband Alan DX small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

I am so sorry to hear this news . Please let Addie know she has so many many prayers coming her way. Debbie Husband Alan dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Debi, I have 2 tattoos both have something to do with Norte Dame, because I am a Notre Dame freak. I will abmit they are addicting, I am about to get my third (which will be my zodiac sign) the only advice I have, put the tattoo where you can see it, I will never understand putting a tattoo on your back!!! when are you ever going to see the darn thing, go for it. I was 35 when I got my 1st one!!! Debbie Husband Alan Dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Ann, your story is so filled with love. It just shows how connected you and Dennis were in life and that connection still goes on today. He is still looking out for you a letting in know everything is alright. I found a great sense of peace in your story and in many ways hope also. I have always known God speaks to us, your Dennis just validated my feelings. Have a Wonderful Thanksgiving Debbie Husband Alan dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Cheryl, I will share a little of what I have been through these past few months with my husband. Short version is Alan had mets to the brain in July, large solidary tumor pressing on his brain stem at that point things were very dire, but since radiation Alan is doing remarkably well and we have taken a couple of trips together since. The flip side is that I know once his cancer went to the brain I needed to prepare for when the "time" may come. Just the other day Alan told me he wants to finalize his funeral arrangements and that is what I will be doing on Tuesday night. Alan also has been "tying up loose ends" as he likes to call them. Like Pat and Ann I remain hopeful, but also must remain realistic with this horrible disease. As Alan describes himself, he is a ticking time bomb that can go off at any moment. I am sending cyber hugs and saying prayers to help you get through this most difficult time. Please PM me anytime and we can cry together. Debbie Husband Alan dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Heather, I am sorry to hear of the passing of your mom. I pray God gives you strength to get through this difficult time. Debbie Husband Alan DX small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

If it was just for a day I would do it in a heart beat, I have always wondered how the mind of a man works, gosh only knows I have been trying to figure that one out for awhile But then I am sure Alan feels the same way about me Debbie Husband Alan dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Many prayers headed your way. So sorry for this latest news. Debbie Husband Alan dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Turkey Sandwhich Debbie Husband Alan dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10 2005

Well as this would be "my" dream job, I would be working with the Notre Dame football team is some capacity so I could be on the sidelines of every home game. I just love walking on that campus. I just might become a professional student at Notre Dame. Happy Thanksgiving everyone Debbie Husband Alan Dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Welcome Robin, prayers are coming to you from the opposite coast, although I am originally a Jersey girl, born there and most my extended family still lives there. Continued success with your treatments and that the tumors continue to shrink. Debbie Husband Alan dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Terri, prayers headed your way. So sorry your family is going through so much. Debbie Husband Alan dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Beth, I am sorry to hear about the passing of your FIL. I did not realize the situation. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I wish I had more comforting words for you. Debbie Husband Alan DX small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

I have learned I do not have to be the stongest woman in the world, it is ok to have moments of dispair and have a good cry. (and not feel guilty about it) Debbie Husband Alan dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

When I first learned of Alan's Lung Cancer I was numb, it wasn't until he almost died in March that I became angry. I have a very long discussion with God and told him exactly how I felt. (we are on better terms now) Now when I am angry I play a good hard hockey game. nothing like taking out on guys who are 6 inches taller than me and out weight me by about 75-100 pounds. (Although I am sure I am more sore than they are the next day ) Then I volunteer at the hospital and go up to the cancer ward and realize that even though Alan and I are dealing with this disease, there are others in worse shape than we are. No more anger. Debbie Husband Alan DX small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Ann, That was an amazing post, thank you for sharing it. My sister needs to read it as she thinks gaining one pound is a reason to be depressed for a week. Debbie Husband Alan DX small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Cindi, I am so sorry about your cat. Alan and I have had our cat for 13 years and she is like our child. so I understand how attatched we get to our pets. Alan was on Decadron for awhile and since he could not sleep at all would do things like start the self cleaning oven at 2:00am, then set off all the smoke alarms waking the entire neighborhood. This lovely little steriod then put him into an organic psycosis that caused him to believe he was frozen on the inside and therefore had to be defrosted before he could eat anything!!!! Which meant I had to put a heating pad on his chest and stomach for 20 minutes before feeding him (this is just one of the many stories I could share of the CRAZY Alan before he was slowly detoxed of decadron) I hope you do not have these issues and pray that eventually the Dr. will be able to reduce you dosage. Prayers for you and Timmy Debbie Husaband Alan DX small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Jen, offering you many many prayers and I am pissed off with you. As for the feeling of doom and gloom, do not beat yourself up for having those feelings. I think most of us go through that when we find out about new mets. Please keep the faith and keep up the fight, you have many people in your corner. Debbie Husband Alan DX small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

My dear Pat and Brian, I spent time at the Spiritual Center yesterday and prayed so very hard for the 2 of you. I honestly wish there was more I could do, please know many hugs and prayers are still headed your way. Debbie Husband Alan DX small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

As you know many many prayers coming your way. I will be attending chapel tomorrow, so extra prayers tomorrow. you are both in my thoughts Debbie Husband Alan Dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

I guess mine would be loyalty, compassion and dependablity Debbie Husband Alan dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005

Alan had a number of transfusions and all went very well, he had more energy after each one. I hope all goes well. Debbie Husband Alan dx small cell lung cancer Jan 10th 2005