jdjenkins

Hi, My Dad is also very dizzy when he stands up. This has been going on for about 3 months. They have tried and tested everything. Home Care nurse said it was very common for advanced cancer patients to be dizzy. Their central nervous system is all messed up from the cancer. His blood pressure drops dramatically when he stands up. Apparently there is nothing they can do for this. Does your Mom have a walker in the house? We got one from the American Cancer Society free of charge. I must say I love your Mom's spirit, but I know you must be worried about her falling. Denise

What a beautiful tribute to your Father. I love this song. My Dad is dying of lung cancer and can barely walk. I would love to dance with him again. Our last dance was very special though. Shortly after he was dx., my niece was married and we danced at her wedding. We danced to "Wind Beneath my Wings". This is the song we danced to at my wedding dance. I cried both times. It was a very special moment for me, one I will never forget. Thanks for sharing. Denise

Leslie, What wonderful news! I'm so happy for you and your family. Keep enjoying every day! Denise

Cindi, Relieved that you had such good news!! You added a bright spot to a long Monday. Denise

I would definately get your Mom checked for depression. My Dad has been extremely depressed since he was dx last October. He just kept going down hill. Doctor really can't figure it out either but now he is too weak for anymore treatment. I think it is a combination of chemo treatments (he has been on 3 different kinds) and depression. I hope you can get some help for your Mom I know how hard it is to watch a parent suffer like this. Denise

Oh Cindi, I'm praying that the Surgeon calls you today with good news. You certainly are an amazingly strong woman. Just keep thinking positively. Try to get out and enjoy this beautiful fall weather we are having today. Sunshine always does a mine good. I'll be thinkins and praying for you my friend. Denise

Hello, I wanted to share my memories and emotions I'm feeling now as my Dad is becoming weaker and weaker. I knew this was a safe place to do this. I'm not much of a writer, but everything came from my heart. Doctor told Dad yesterday no more treatment he is too weak. The doctor was very compassionate. Even saw tears in his ears. It was a very hard day of my family. Thanks for letting me share my feeling. Denise Memories of Dad These are some of the wonderful memories I have of my Dad. I feel so very blessed that God gave me such a wonderful Father. -Dad jumping in the kiddie pool with me on hot summer days after his route. -Washing the car with Dad. -His devilish sense of humor. He loved to tease me. -Class field trip to Taystee Bread. I was so proud of my Dad. I held his hand through the whole field trip. -Taking the bus downtown with friends and walking to Taystee to visit Dad. We always left with a box of warm donuts. -Visiting him at the State Fair. Sitting in his truck and eating donuts! -Asking him to win me a stuffed animal at the fair. He waited until the last day and went to Buy a Bear half price sale. -How he never said a word when mom would buy me all those school clothes every year. -How he loved to see his girls in their new outfits and told us how pretty we looked. Mom always said go show your Dad. -How he loved my mom and taught me so much about having a wonderful marriage. -How he and mom would get dressed up and go out almost every weekend. They loved to have fun together. -How he always worked so hard to support his family. We never went without. -Many beautiful summer days spent on our boat. Dad loved the water almost as much as he loved golf. He gladly gave up many days on the golf coarse to spend with his family. Dad would spend countless hours pulling kids on water skies. We had such great family fun. -Family vacations to destinations that I’m now bringing my kids to. -How he lovingly took in his Father-in-Law when my Grandma passed away. He never complained. -Having him watch my cross country and track meets in high school. -Going to countless High School Hockey Games with him and mom and having so much fun. They were the coolest parents. -How proud he was of me when I graduated from college. -How he never said a word when I would bring home all those goofy boyfriends. -How many countless times he helped me move and move and move in those 20 something years. -Bringing my Dad to see my wedding dress. It was so important to me that he like the dress. I can still see him sitting in the chair at the Bridal Shop. -Dad walking me down the isle at my wedding. -Dancing with him at my wedding to “Wind Beneath my Wings”. I felt so much love for him and was kind of sad. I felt like I was leaving him. Little did I know how much closer we would became over the next 13 years? -How Dad never said a word when I quite my job to stay home with my babies. Even after paying for my college education. -The wonderful memories my children have of years in Florida with Grandma and Grandpa. Those were truly gifts from God and I’m so thankful that we had those opportunities. -What a wonderful Grandpa he was to my children. This is truly where my Dad shined most. I saw a different side of my father with my children. I remember him holding them so sweetly as babies. How they would sleep on his shoulder and how much love I felt for him as I watched him hold my babies. -At the age of 67 he went out and bought himself a pair of hockey skates to teach his grandson how to play hockey. -Dad never missed one of Nick’s hockey games or baseball games until he became to ill. He was in the locker room and behind the bench at all games. I was so proud to have him there. -Dad loved to watch Danielle swim and play basketball. He would sit through hours of sweating in the pool to watch her swim one race. -How much he enjoyed golfing with Jeff and had just started to enjoy golfing with Nick. I really thought they would have years of playing golf together. -How Jeff knew he always had a green light to go to the course when he went with my Dad. I could never say no to my Dad. -Dad was always there for me to help out with the kids. To baby-sit while I worked or went out and had some fun. He helped pick them up from sports and school. Everyone knew Nick and Dani’s Grandpa. Nick had his Papa days McDonalds for lunch and then to the dollar store. -I remember the day I found out my Dad had lung cancer. How my life literally fell apart at the moment. How my heart physically ached. How scared I was. How I knew instantly how much he would rely on me through this journey. How I didn’t think I would ever make it through this with him. How I did not understand how my Dad could get lung cancer he had done the right thing. He had quite smoking so many years ago. -As I watched my Dad receive his chemo, have his hair shaved off and fitted for a wig, receive bad news from the doctor that the chemo wasn’t working. On to radiations and more chemo. Seven weeks of driving him to the U of M and how strong he was in the beginning. He seemed to sail through the treatments. We were sure that radiation would cure him. How devastated we were when his tumor only shrunk 30% from the radiation. Then we found out he had another brain tumor. He started to decline right before my eyes. I tried to be so strong and upbeat around him. I would cry in the car every time I left him. I knew in my heart that he would not make it through this journey. I spent countless hours on the web searching for an answer. Something to save him. It was so hard to watch my Mom go through this with him. To watch her lose the love of her life. I was so afraid I would lose her also. My heart ached for both of them so much. I felt so helpless. I remember calling the Doctor and asking him if we could postpone chemo until my Dad got stronger. Asking him how long he thought me Dad had left with us. How I knew in my heart the answer to that question. How I knew that my Dad would not get his miracle to cure this cancer. I sometimes felt guilty for asking this question. Like I was giving up on Dad, but I just could not stand watching him suffer I needed to know how much longer. Dad did not have physical pain, but he was suffering so much emotionally. He never had a minutes rest from his pain. I could see it in his face everyday, the great pain he was in. When my Dad first got sick I thought maybe it would have been better if I wasn’t so close to my Parents. If I had grown up and moved on to be a little more independent from them. How it might have been easier on me to handle this journey if I wasn’t so close to them. How maybe he would not have asked me all those tough questions, which were so hard for me to answer. But then I think about all I would have missed if that were the case. All the wonderful memories we have shared over the years. All the memories my children would have missed. My relationship with my Dad has brought me so much joy. I never would have had it any different. The pain I’m going through now is worth it for the 41 wonderful years I have had with him.

You poor thing, you must be so exhausted! Taking care of your husband is exhausting and emotional enough, and how you have his Mom to care for. Is there anyway you can take a leave of absence from your job for awhile? Most companies are very understanding of situations like these. That might at least lighten up some of the stress. Also, maybe you could try attending a support group for caregivers. I have started to take my Mom to one and it has been a good way for her to unload some of her burdens. It also is a good way for her to get out of the house for awhile. I have also started going over and sitting with my Dad for several hours, a couple times a week, so Mom can get out and visit friends or run errands without being worried about Dad. I really encourage you to seek help from friends, family, or professionals. You are an amazingly strong woman, but no one could handle all of this on their own. I will keep you in my prayers. Denise

I have been waiting for this message. What wonderful news, I knew the Lord would not let us down. I'm so happy for your daughter! I remember my wedding day when Dad walked me down the isle and our special dance. It is such a wonderful memory to hold onto. So happy for your family. Denise

Thinking of Bill and his family today. May you all have a wonderful day!

I'm glad they moved the CT scan up for Brian. Sounds like you have a great doctor. I bet Brian will feel better soon. I will pray for good results next week. Denise

I'm very sorry for your loss. God Bless You. Denise

I said a prayer for Bill right now. I will keep praying that he gets the strength needed for the wedding. Denise

Dear Pat, You and Brian are in my prayers. I pray that he regains his strength soon. I know how hard it is to see someone you love get weaker and withdrawn. I encourage you to have the grandkids over for a visit. I bet once they are there Brian will enjoy his visit, and it will be a great lift for your spirits. My Dad is very withdrawn and weak right now also, but we still stop by for visits. It really helps brighten my Mom's day. Please take care of yourself. Denise

Leslie and Mark, This is wonderful news. I'm so happy for both of you. Enjoy celebrating! Denise

My Dad didn't get the rash for about three weeks. Tarceva did not work for him. He started his rapid decline in strength while on Tarceva. I wish you all the best. Denise

My Dad was on Dylantin for awhile. You need to make sure that they check her level regularily. They had a hard time getting his level up high enough so they kept increasing his dosage. Then he almost overdosed on it. He was very weak, could barely walk, and was out of it mentally. I hope the medicine keeps your Mom's seizures under control. They are very scary! You and your Mom are in my prayers. Denise

I had a very similar experience today. My Dad has never missed one of Nick's hockey games, but today he was just to weak. I went to the game and video taped. After the game we all watched it together at his house. It was good for both Nick and Grandpa. I'm trying to encourage him to go to next weeks game. I said we could get a wheel chair, but he didn't seem to interested. It was very hard on me not to have my Dad there today. I think it was harder on me than on my son. Dad has always been so involved with the team and coaches. Everyone knows Grandpa Jim. I will keep working on the wheelchair issue and maybe we can get him there next weekend. I hope you have good luck with your Mom also. Denise

This sounds exactly what is happening to my Dad. The chemo is working to hold stable or shrink the tumor, but he continues to get weaker and weaker. It is so hard to see him struggle so just to walk to the bathroom. He is taking a chemo break and we are hoping he will regain some strength. We just don't understand it either, but he started his decline while on Tarceva. He was on it for two months but it did not work for him. I hope you find your answers and your mom gets stronger soon. Denise

Well I spoke with Dad's Oncologist this morning about several different things. One was wheather he was strong enough for another chemo treatment this week. We agreed to stop chemo for a while and take a break. I also asked him the tough question of how much time he thought my Dad had left. He gave me the answer I thought he would but it was not easy to hear. He said he thought my Dad's fear of death was the only thing keeping him alive and when he accepts death he will go very quickly. He did not give him more than 6 months and said I should prepare my family. He said there was no longer any chance for a miricle. I remained so composed the whole time I was on the phone with him. Almost like I was talking about a stranger. It has hit me hard since though. Scared, angry, worried about how we can go on without him. Had to tell brother and sisters latest information. My brother was shocked. He thought my Dad still had a good chance in fighting. Told me just last night Dad might have 7 years left. Really don't know what to do now. Feel numb all over. I have to take him to the Doctor today to have a pain in his stomach looked at. I pray he doesn't end up in the hospital. I also have to tell my Mom the news. How do you look your Mom in the eyes and tell her the love of her life will be leaving her soon. It all seems so unfair. I keep trying to remember how extremly blessed my family has been for so many years. We have been blessed with good health and loving relationships. We have so many wonderful memories to hold onto. I also wonder if I should get an other opinion on my Dad's condition. Although just looking at him makes you think he does not have long. It is confusing because we have been able to control cancer gowth so is he dying from treatments or cancer. Sorry I'm rambling on but it really does help to get my thought out. You all understand my pain and are so helpful to me. Thanks again for listening. Denise

Thank you all for responding so quickly and with great advice. My mom and I will be attending a support group for caregivers of cancer patients next week. I'm hopeful this will help my mom deal with everything. I'm also going to have her talk to her Doctor about changing her anti-depression meds. They don't seem to be working for her right now. Although I don't know if anything will. I'm more worried about her right now than myself. I get to go home to my husband and kids. My Dad has had two brain tumors sucessfully treated with Cyberknife. We are not sure how much these are affecting his mood. Doctor never told us about possilbe mood changes. We are going to see Nurse Practioner on Wednesday for a new pain in his stomach. I'm going to ask her if she thinks he can take another chemo treatment right now. Thanks again for listening and for all your help. Denise

I really need some advice on how to handle my Dad's current state of depression. He has absolutely no quality of life left. He is afraid to be left alone and is afraid to leave the house. He can barely walk to the bathroom. He walks all hunched over and his arms and hands shake alot. He cries several times each day and really does not join in on conversations. This weekend he had his three daughters, two son-in-laws, wife, and five grandchildren at his house all day. He barely talked to any of us. Just sat on his chair all day long. When we all left he cried and cried. My Mom is getting depressed also. She can't go anywhere without him making her feel guilty. He does not do anything for himself, but refuses any outside help. We are not sure how much of this is from the chemo (Altima & Avastin) and how much is mental illness. His family has a long history of mental illness, but before he was dx he was good and enjoying life. He is already taking Ativan and Zoloft for depression, but refuses to get any other help. I'm not sure what to do next. Everyone (brother and sisters) tells me I will never be able to change him and to just let him be. If I do that I'm afraid I will lose my Mom also. I don't know how much more of this she can handle. I spend the most time with my Dad and he relies on me a great deal. I may be easy for my brother and sisters to let him be, but I see him everyday and it breaks my heart. I was thinking of asking his Oncologists how much more time my Dad has in his current condition. If he says my Dad could have 6 or more months left then I will fight to get him to accept some help. If he has less time I don't want to spend it fighting with him to get help. I suppose the Dr. can't really answer that question. The Oncologist is sympathetic about his depression, but really offers no advice for us on this matter. It has been almost one year since my Dad was dx. and he has been unable to truely enjoy one minute of his life since that day. I'm very close to my Dad and it is killing me to see him like this mentally and physically. If anyone has any good advice for me I would be most grateful. Denise

Thanks for posting the great news on Cindi. I have been looking for an update. Relieved to hear everything went well. Denise

Prayers being sent for Little Drew. Denise

Cindi, Prayers are with you for a speedy recovery. Everything will go just fine for you. My Dad had that same surgery about 2 months ago at UofM. He was terrified of surgery but afterward he said "Surgery wasn't any big deal". Denise