jdjenkins

So very sad to hear of Jen's passing. May God comfort you all during this difficult time. Denise

Dear Beth, I have been thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for you. My Mom is having a hard time also. I'm just trying to keep her busy. I encourage her to accept any and all invitation offered to her, even if she doesn't feel like doing them. She is trying to find a balance between letting herself feel the grief, and pushing herself on with life. I'm sure there are days when she just wishes I would just go away. Keep pushing yourself Beth, Bill would want you to move through the grief and on to enjoying life. Enjoy those wonderful boys of yours! We are always here for you, Denise

Sending prayers your way. This is such a difficult time for you and your husband. I hope his remaining days are peaceful. Denise

I scored 48. Pretty good description of me, although I really don't like being the center of attention. I am always using my hands or touching the person I'm talking to, but I always thought it was because I'm Italian. I will have to get my husband to take this test. Thanks for sharing, Denise

Cindi, I was just watching the pairs skating on the Olympics. The American pair that just skated included a Lung Cancer Survivor. The woman, who could not be over 30 years old, had lung cancer in 1998 and underwent surgery and chemo and is cancer free. Her Father passed away from Lung Cancer in 1996. I thought of you, maybe you can make it to the winter games in 2010. I will be there to cheer you on for sure! Glad you are feeling well!! I hope you catch some fish this week. It is suppose to be pretty cold out this weekend so dress warm and have fun. Denise

My Dad was on Tarceva for about 3 months. Only side effect was a rash on face and neck area. Doctor told us Tarceva works best on non-smokers so that is encouraging for Tim. Dad also received Avastin for two treatments. Hard to tell what kind of side effects he experienced as cancer was progressing at the same time. Praying everything goes well for your husband. Denise

Jackie, I'm so sorry you lost your wonderful Father. I lost my Dad in January of this year. I totally understand everything you wrote in your post. I was the one Dad relied on to follow his treatments, he did not want to know any information unless positive. I too second guess many of my decision and conversations with the doctor, wondering if I had done something different would he still be here today. I try to calm myself by thinking that he has to be better off in heaven than living here with that beast in side of him. The treatments were so hard on him. He never had a truely peaceful day after he was dx. It was also so very hard on Mom to care for him and watch him suffer so physically and emotionally. I too think of my Dad all the time. I have not been able to sleep very well since he has passed. I miss him so much. Yesterday I was driving in the car and just starting crying. All the grief just came back like it happened yesterday. My heart just ached. Then all of a sudden the sun came shining in my window so bright and so warm. The sun seemed to be following me along the road and warming me. I just knew it must be Dad trying to tell me everything will be alright. In Minnesota this time of year we don't get to see the sun much. It was only out that day for a short time. Long enough for my Dad to send me his message of hope. Just wanted to add that my Grandfather on my Mom's side was born in Italy. He came to America when he was 21 years old. I loved him so much, he too was such a kind and simple man. I kind of feel like I knew your Dad when you were describing him in your post. I can only believe time will heal our hearts. We will always miss our Dads, but we will never forget them. PM any time you need to talk. Denise

My Dad was able to continue to see his doctor while in hospice. They did not do blood work or any more scans though. I hope you find one that works for you. Denise

Dear Karen, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I hope hospice will be able to bring you both some peace and comfort. God Bless you both. Denise

Dear Larry, My heart breaks for you and your children. I'm so sorry of your incredible loss. I pray the Lord will give you all strength in the days ahead. God Bless, Denise

No experience with feeding tubes, but praying for your Dad. Denise

Holly, It must be so hard to think of leaving your Dad. I know what you mean about going from caring for your Mom to caring for your Dad. I have the same feelings, now I'm taking care of Mom. The last three weeks I have been keeping her very busy. I myself have been stressed out trying to get all my stuff done, and spend every day with her. Recently, there have been days when we were not together. I feel so guilty, but I know she has to get use to being on her own sometimes. Those days alone are very hard on her, she has time to grieve and feel lonely. As hard as it is for me to hear her so sad, we both know it is something she just has to work through herself. Is there a way your Dad could start spending more time without you and the baby. Maybe ease into not being dependent on you before you return home. I'm sure your husband must miss you and the baby very much. It would be good for you to get home and have someone take care of you for a while. You must be so exhausted! What ever decision you make your Dad knows how much you love him, and that you will always be there for him. Denise

I know all about those what if questions that run through your mind. It seems like they always come to me in the middle of the night. I just try to remember that we tried our best to help Dad, and that we were never in control. The Lord was in control. All our loved ones really need is to know that we love them and would do anything to help them. Denise

Happy to hear the surgery went well. I hope you are feeling better shortly. Denise

I'm so sorry for your loss. The Lord will give you the strength to make it through the next couple of days. God Bless, Denise

Dear Jana, I'm so sorry for your heart ache. Just remember that your Mom sees your baby girl everyday. She is with you always now. Peace to you, Denise

I'm so sorry to hear of your Dad's quick decline. Have they done everything possible to find out why your Dad is in this mental state. You stated that they told you people with lung and brain mets only have 2-4 months. Well my Dad had a huge tumor in his lung and a brain met and was alive for 15 months with treatment. You may want to get another opinion. If nothing else it will give you peace of mind. If you do get another opinion you will have to be removed from hospice, but you can go in and out of hospice several times under Medicare. Hospice should be able to tell you the signs to look for in approaching death. For my Dad they all came very fast. One day he was up enjoying a New Years Dinner with us, and 5 days later he was dying. I pray that you can get more time with your Dad, but also that he does not have to suffer to receive that time. Denise

I thought I was feeling pretty good this week. I was able to spend a lot of time with my Mom. We had a nice shopping day, dinner out, and a sleepover. It has been two weeks since my Dad passed away. For the first week I could have slept all day every day. I was so tired all the time, just getting the kids off to school seemed like a lot of work. I'm slowly getting my energy back. All of a sudden tonight the sadness came back. Jeff took Nick to hockey practice,and I was making ribs for dinner. My Mom was eating over with us, and I just could not help but miss my Dad. Dad always loved it when I cooked him a good meal. We are so lucky that he enjoyed eating until his final days. It is one thing that we could all still do together. So many other things had been taken away from us. As I prepared dinner, I thought about how much my Dad would have enjoyed taking Nick to hockey practice tonight, afterwards he would have come back for a good dinner with us all. There was an empty seat at the table and just enough ribs left over for him to eat. We watched the Gophers on TV after dinner and every goal reminded me of how Dad would cheer with us all. He would get up and give us all high fives. When he became to weak to get up we would go to him. Watching hockey and eating a good meal were his favorite things to do right up until his last day. I really missed him tonight. I hate this cancer, it seems so unfair that he had to go so soon. I wish I could have found something to help him fight this beast. Thanks for listening. Denise

My Dad also had to wait 7 weeks after chemo and radiation for a PET/CT scan. This is because the radiation keeps working in your body that long after your last treatment. This would be a perfect time for your Dad to take a vacation if possible. I tried to talk my Dad into going to Florida, but he did not want to. Wishing you good luck on your Dad's scans. Denise

Don't ever feel bad about showing your emotions. Tears can be very healing for you and your Mom. I cried several times with my Dad. I also cried in the Oncologists office when we decided to sign Dad up for hospice. It seemed so final, we were giving up and accepting death. I really don't understand the nurses comments. I would bet they have never been down this road with someone they love. As hard as this journey is for us to travel we learn such valueable lessons along the way. My Dad was also very very tired and not eating much. I read on this website how some patients were on steriods for energy. I called the doctor and asked it Dad could be put on them. Once he started those he had more energy and ate like a little pig. He gained 15 pounds the last few months of his life. It was so comforting to see him enjoy food. We had steak, lobster, shrimp, ribs. Whatever he wanted! He ate good until just a few days before his death. The steriods also gave him the strength to make it around the house without assistance. This was so important to my Dad. God bless you and your family on your journey. Denise

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mother. Hold onto happy memories, they will help you through your loss. It is wonderful that you and your siblings were able to surround her with love while she made her transition to her new world. My family was with my Dad and I will never forget how peaceful he was in his last minutes. God Bless, Denise

Dear Beth, My heart breaks for you, I know how hard it is to lose your Dad. He sounds like a wonderful man. Hold onto the memories of the good times, they will help you through this time. PM me if you need to talk. My Dad has been gone 2 weeks today. God Bless, Denise

I too was scared I would not be able to handle my Dad's visitation and funeral. I felt sick to my stomach all day before the visitation. When I saw Dad in the casket I just knew he was no longer there, that it was just his body, he had already gone onto heaven. I felt like I was being carried through the two days. I felt stronger than I could have ever imagined. I was even able to get up and speak at the funeral. I bet you too will be amazed by your strength. Follow your heart and the Lord will give you strength. Love, Denise

Just when I thought we would never get any good news on this board. This is wonderful!!!!!!!!! So very happy for you and your family.

Dear Lori, I wish I had some advice for you, but I don't. All I can say is just keep loving your Mom they way you have been. Nothing else really matters right now. You are a wonderful daughter and your Mom knows how much you love her. God Bless, Denise