hollyanne

This news breaks my heart. Teri was one of the first people who reached out to me. i KNOW that all in Heaven welcomed her with open arms. Heaven's gain is our loss. Love to all who loved Teri, Holly

Hi - I don't have experience with brain radiation, yet my mom took dexamethasone at 12mg daily for swelling along the spinal cord -- she did really, really well with the steroids (4mg x 3) -- we eventually cut her back to about 4mg (very slowly.) Hoping that your mom starts having less symptoms from the radiation... Holly

So many prayers for Teri and her family during this time. Prayers for strength for everyone and that Teri's passing is gentle and peaceful.

CONGRATS. GOOD NEWS IS JUST SO, JUST SO GOOD!!!

You guys have been dealt a terrible blow. Take a deep breath and get your bearings. I agree with everyone else...GET ANOTHER OPINION..and keep going until you find an oncologist you relate to. I am so sorry that this has happened to your beautiful mom. There are simply no explanations. At this time the best thing you can do besides love her is to try and help take control of her care. You guys will get a plan of action going...at that point you feel a little more in control. We are all here for you....people on this board have been through every imaginable high and low. Love to you, Holly

Kathleen, My heart is breaking for you. You are right "not everything is going to be o.k." -- but you will get through each and every thing that your future will bring. I know it is so very difficult, but don't focus on the future, it is simply overwhleming. Right now, you need to focus on staying healthy...if you think an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety drug would help -- GET IT. You need to be 100% physically to deal with all of these things that have been thrown at you. AND don't give up on your mom and dad right now! Love them each and every day as you have for 28 years....but also fight along side them against this beast of a disease. Does your mom have a treatment plan? What stage os her cancer? We are all here for you...trust the people on this board to support you and give you information. Get as informed as you can as to what your mom and dad want...and about this disease. I am so sorry that you are going through all of this...it isn't fair. If you are a spirtual person, this will test your faith...it did in my case, yet my faith did win out even though I lost my mom. So many prayers for all of you tonight. Holly

Carleen - I don't know what to say. I know how strong your faith is, and mine is as well. I am praying for strength and peace of mind for you. We can't predict what God's will is...I wish we could. Right now, just try to keep breathing and know that God has both of you in his hands although I am sure it doesn't feel that way. Carleen, you are so strong, you will survive no matter, no matter how painful. How I wish I could take some of this from you. get through each minute, each hour -- and keep loving your dear Keith the way you always have. With so much love, Holly

Hi - I echo the advice already given...but add one bit -- assume you have very little time and make sure nothing goes unsaid. No one except for God knows how long anyone has on this earth. The doctors thought my mom would have at least a year, and she had less than five months --- you just never know. Please use everyone on this board for any support or info you need. I could not have made it through my mom's illness without these people. I am sorry that has happened to your family. This journey is a very tough one...but you WILL make it through it. Love your mom every day and forgive her for whatever has happened in the past. She needs you. Holly

Kim - I started crying when I read your post. I am so sorry that you lost your mom -- there are too many daughters of lung cancer on this board. I miss my mom terribly as well..yet I can tell you that the "rawness" will lessen. At the "one month mark," I still didn't think I would make it til the next day, but it has gotten easier. My memories of her dying have been replaced by memories of how she lived her life. Consider yourself so blessed to have had that dream -- I had one where she told me "I am better, you don't need to worry about me at all." -- I, too didn't want to wake up. Oh Kim, it just stinks, yet I do promise that you will have more good days than bad days as time moves on. You will never stop missing her. I think about my mom 10-15 times a day, yet I don't cry every time anymore. Love, Holly

ELLIOT -- ICK!!! Give me Chris any day of the week. SOUL PATROL SOUL PATROL

Hi - Of course you scared- everything as you have known it has been turned upside down. It is o.k. to be scared...yet I promise that once you get a plan you feel a bit more in control. Remember that being scared means you are thinking about the future -- you can't control that today. Try and live for today -- take each challenge and success as it comes. Thinking too far ahead can be completely overwhelming. You WILL make it through whatever is thrown your way. I didn't think I would and everyone kept telling me that I was so much stronger than I thought -- guess what they were right! Prayers that you and your boyfriend will have the peace to handle whatever is thrown at you. Love, Holly

Carleen - You guys have gone through so much -- your family is truly an inspiration. So many prayers for your aunt and uncle and Dad - I can't even imagine how tough this is for all of you, yet if anyone can thrive through the chaos, it is you. Your faith is a testament to all. Holly

Linda - I am terribly sorry that you all are facing these rapid changes. Prayers that you will be led to make the right decisions and that both of you will have the strength and peace to accept whatever comes your way...not too mention prayers that she improves. Holly

Cindy - I would ask your dad what HE wants to do. I think that we too often keep telling people "to fight" and that it makes them feel guilty. Towards the end, my mom said "I don't want to leave all of you, but I am ready to be comfortable" -- and that was o.k. with us. Let him know, that this is up him, but that all of you will support whatever decision her makes. If he wants to stay home then really discuss hospice and what the purpose is, etc. Heraing the "h" word is so very difficult. With my mom, we discussed the fact that nothing changes from the miunte before and the minute after you chose hospice...except that you have more people helping out. You don't suddenly get sicker. He is still in control...people have chosen hospice and then decided to try aggressive treatment again. Hospice's job is to make him comfortable and to help your family. Once we really talked about this with my mom, it made more sense. She wasn't "giving" up but choosing to be comfortable and with us all at home. Thinking of you. This is so tough, I know. Holly

My mom was the same as cindy's dad -- had great results with patches..although we changed them every 60 hours -- she was up to 200mg and not too "whacky" -- she couldn't tolerate morphine orally, but could when it was in the pump to the blood stream. She also used the suckers for breakthrough pain. She was on vicodin/lortab for a long while, yet she developed a stomach ulcer from taking those as well as so much anti-inflammatory stuff. the steriods also did wonders for her pain. DEMAND pain control - watching my mom in pain until we got it under control was by far the worst thing for all of us. Once she got the morphine pump -- she said "I actually feel normal." Holly

Malou - I am shocked and so sorry...so very sorry. I am here for you when you are ready...just a few miles away. Your love for him is unmatched...and I know that your faith will get you through the coming days and months. All my love and prayers, Holly

Oh Missy - my heart breaks for you right now. Yet, if it has to be, at least you have time with your mom, you are open with her and she is painfree. So many prayers for you in the weeks ahead. Hospice will be of great help, lean on them as much as you can. I am so sory that you have to go through this...but I promise you that you are so much stronger than you could ever imagine. Love your mom and cherish the time you have...you will never, ever regret being there with her. Love, Holly

Andrea - Thinking of you tonight -- and praying that your levels go up..... Holly

Hi - I understand your surprise...my mom's lung tumor was tiny and remained that way...yet she had mets. basically, once the cancer is in the blood stream, it can never be removed, yet it can be stabilized for a period of time. The bad news is, it is in the blood stream -- the good news is that she probabyly won't have "lung cancer symptoms" -- my mom never had shortness of breath, a cough, or anything related to the lungs. Remember, there are people on this board who were stage IV at diagnosis and continue to live rich lives years later. Accept the diagnosis, don't accept the statistics or prognosis! Lots of love, Holly

Hi - yep, Mom's Day was hard for a lot of us...yet you got through it right? That is what I remind myself of when the days are so difficult. You are so new to this "loss thing" -- I didn't believe it, but time does help a little bit...it feels a little less raw. Not to say that there aren't days when I just want to curl up and die...yet those are less frequent. Could you ask your SF for some of her ashes? My mom's are with my dad, but I am thinking about having some with me. As far as he goes...everyone grieves differently...he loved her of course -- but she gave birth to you! Your tie will last forever and ever. Lots of love, Holly

Absolute prayers for Rose. Prayers for peace of mind and acceptance of whatever God's will may be. Let her know that there is a huge community of prayers for her!

Hey Mary - My mom had terrible rib pain from bone mets...radiation zapped the pain fairly quickly. If that is what you have -- they will look for angles to avoid organ tissue..so it really depends which ribs are bad. In my mom's case, they were able to up the radiation to get it done more quickly since no organs were in clear site. In the meantime, tell your doctor that the pain is unaccetable...and get whatever pain stuff you need! Thinking of you, Holly

My mom loved hers...in her chest. her veins were so shot, and "getting stuck" consistently caused her so much anxiety. She was given general anesthesia when she got hers...an outpatient procedure. She was never stuck again for anything -- blood draws, contrast, morphine, chemo, etc.

teri - I don't even know you...but I pray for you every night. You are such an inspiration to s many people, you are truly a blessing. As I am sure you have found out, hospice is wonderful. If the patches aren't working well, can they just stick you on a morphine pump at low dosages...with the "white button" for breakthrough pain? My mom had the same tummy issues with everything except the patches, suckers and pump. So much love to you and your family!

I know how much you loved your dad. This is such a tough time. Take time and simply be thankful that you had the relationship that you did. I will pray for peace and strength for all of you in the coming weeks and months. Your dad is free!