hollyanne

Grace - I don't understand either. I am so terribly sorry and I'll can do is pray for some peace for your whole family. Holly

God is Good! More prayers on their way.

Everyone has already given you the advice I would....but I will stress tell the doctors that the pain is simply not acceptable. He is on low doses of pain relief in comparison to what my mom a 110lb woman was on. Maryanne is right, the Duragesic patches work wonders for some people...did for my mom. The number one goal has to be to control the pain. You could look into hospice, then he could have the morphine pump at home.... Thinking of you, Holly

Rochelle - Don't get ready to say goodbye...don't give up on her. I am sure this news is devastating...but you are doing the right thing by getting a second opinion. Will be thinking of all of you, Holly

Welcome - I am so sorry you are here. This disease is terrifying...yet you will feel a little sense of control once treatment gets started. Don M, Cindi O'h and other will give you the best first hand advice for SOB and treatments....the rest of us will give you whatever emotional support you need. Many, too many of us have gone through this with our moms who are/were our best friend. The panic for me never subsided, I was scared of what each morning would bring...yet I learned to cope with it better on some days than others. Arm yourself with as much info as you can...and love your mom each and every day. We are here for you. Holly

Melinda - My heart is so heavy for you. I hate this disease. Love to you.

Dearest Don - You and Lucy continue to inspire all of us. Fervent prayers for peace and strength for all of you. Love, Holly

Robyn - It does get easier...it never goes way. I thought it was so ridiculous when people said the only thing that helps is "time" -- but now I have to agree. Eight months ago I lost my best friend in the world...I miss her every single day, but I also know that she would want me to live life to its fullest -- which I am trying to do...although I am not very good at it yet. you WILL get through each day, some days more easily than others. Time, Robyn, it takes time. Love, Holly

val - I know your mom is beaming in Heaven. Love, Holly

Don - So many prayers for you tonight. So many. Love, Holly

Hi - Cindi is having computer issues...I am going to try and help her through them..she is doing just fine!

I got an email from her a few days ago...but I will email her again!

Joanie -- I don't know! But I want you to know that you are in my thoughts so very frequently, and I am so thrilled that you are stable! Holly

Sis - Want you to know that I am thinking of you and your sister at this terrifying time...I am hopeful you will get better information and some peace of mind next Thursday...there are more combinations that they can try...don't give up. I do encourage you to go see your sister and brother-in-law...you will feel better...and I am sure your sister will as well. Holly

Melinda - I wish I could give you some comfort. Your mom doesn't seem to be in pain (right?) which is a huge blessing. The jibberish is part of the process as the body starts to slow down.....I just talked to to my mom's hospice nurse who is now when of my best friends..Deb said that ativan should be the goal. You don't want your mom to be agitated or nervous...her body and mind are coming to terms with what what is going on. Melinda, you WILL make it through all of this. My heart is breaking for you as I remember the panic and the "please make this all stop" feeling that is overwhelming. I remember being scared to wake up and get out of bed (the times when I slept.) You can't control this...what you can do is make sure that everything you have ever wanted to say is said. I pray so hard that you and your family and of course your mom will have peace and strength in the coming days and weeks. I am sick for you. Just take each minute as it comes. Love, Holly

Lynda - I understand. So many of we "daughters" who have close relationships with our moms know exactly what you are talking about. I thought my mom would be with me for so many more years, and her diagnosis and death were the most devastating thing I could ever imagine going through...yet Lynda, I made it. You will too. I can't tell you it is easy, becuase it certainly is not. You have time with your mom. Share your love. Talk. talk and talk. Make sure nothing is left unsaid. As fas as your husband goes, would you consider som kind of counseling? You are going to need him more than ever in the upcoming months....grief and illness are tough on the strongest relationships. God WILL give you the strength to take each day as it comes and to be thankful for what you have. Love, Holly

Mary - I am sorry you had to find us...but you WILL get so much support here. I was in a very similar situation with my parents...I promise you that your dad will find a way to process everything. All you can do is love both your mom and dad every day. I will send you a PM as well. Take each day as it comes. Your mom is not a statistic...every case has HOPE. Welcome.

Has anyone heard from Melinda (or have I missed a post?) I think about and pray for her and her mom every day. Reading her last posting brought so many memories rushing back to me. Melinda, may God give all of you peace.

Lori -- There is SO much more they can do. My mom had mets everywhere in the bones and was in terrible pain until we did Fetanyl (she was taking percocet every two hours and liquid morphine before this) -- and then the morphine pump was a God send. Your mom should not be in pain...should NOT. Please tell the doctors that this simply unacceptable. All my love to you during this so very difficult time. Holly

Melinda - I started sobbing when I read this...i am writing through tears as this is all too familar. I will PM you..... Love, Holly

Oh Jen. I am so very sorry, yet so very happy that it was all as he wished. We will be here for you when everything calms down. Your faith will certainly get you through this.

me too!!! I think about darrell all the time.

Oh Nancy, I am so sorry. I am sure you know all the basics on what you should try to eat -- and you have done the Zofran, Compazine, etc. One random thought -- what about trying the morning sickness tricks. Those really sour Prego Pops? raw ginger? Don't mix liquids and solids at the same time, etc. Sounds trite...but I am sure you will try anything. I had such bad morning sickness that i was hospitalized - the one thing that helped me somewhat -- Sea bands -- the bands you use for sea sickness...I NEVER took them off, in fact, I still have scars on my wrists from them! I also bought the electric current one as well. The other pregnancy trick is vitamin B-6 mixed with Sominex (the over the counter sleeping stuff.) I am so very sorry...you are going through enough without this.

As most of you know, I lost my mom two weeks after my first baby/her first grandchild was born. There are times that Caroline stares up into the air and smiles or just laughs for no apparent reason. She began smiling in the middle of the night just after my mom passed away. Maybe this poem explains why... ******************************************** Toward Morning Sometimes when I wake up in the morning before it is light, I hear my baby talking in her crib. If I rise up on my elbow very gently so she will not see me, I can see her there in the dim lights, dark eyes with her fat hands clasped together or patting one another. All the while she makes those tender, inarticulate sounds in her own language. To whom is she speaking in the dark, toward morning? Is she still so near Heaven, this little one, is she talking in the language of the Angels to some visitor invisible to me, but seen by her pure eyes? Is she making a report of her days events, her own progress report, or asking of the welfare of others she loves in the land she left so short a time ago? Perhaps the Angel who cares for her comes in that Holy hour to sit with her and love her yet awhile - - toward morning.

I absolutely believe she was there with you..there is no doubt in my mind. I have had two similar experiences (with my mom, not your wife!) As bittersweet as it feels, what a blessing. Embrace it!