Remembering Dave

Peggy, prayers for your hu\bbie, but I feel that all will be fine. Love, Karen

Carrie, no experience with this either (yet) but just wanted to wish you well and say I know you will do just fine. I'd get some ativan if you could. what the heck. anyone would be anxious about having a procedure like that done. I look forward to hearing your post about how it went! Is someone going with you, going to be there with you? Best of Luck and Love, Karen

Ok, I'm a little late - no, ALOT late on this, but I was a little preoccupied last week with Dave's stuff. Just wanted to say I'm glad John is feeling a little better and I hope like heck it was "just sinuses." Do you have a humidifer in your bedroom? I have chronic sinus problems and a humidifier really works. a heated mist, not cool mist one is what you need - we found out the hard way that cool mist is a bad idea (mold grows in the tank and filter way too easy). Keeping you and your whole family in my prayers, Karen

Crap, Beth, take it and run with it! You were due a break! OR, maybe, just maybe, all those nodes aren't cancer at all but the fungal thing? OR, maybe you are the walking miracle I am praying for! Karen

Hi, just wanted to say I've barely had time to watch the news lately and did see something about your little town on the news the other day, what a coincidence. I hope you are doing OK. God Bless, Karen

well, crap. and welcome to the husband/mother cancer club. a club I wish I to belong to alone, this is not good. I will say at least my mom and dad live in town and my mom's got my dad. this long distance help is going to be pretty darn hard. I don't know what to say, Ry and John, except hang tough. I know your family will pull together and work out a plan. I'm just really really sorry. I hope they caught it at an early stage. God Bless, Karen

Kel, I'm so sorry things look so bad for your Mom and there is so much sadness. I think thirty is way too young to lose your mother. I'm 46 and I think I'm way too young to lose mine, which is something I also face along with my husband's cancer. I don't know what else to say, except to take good care of that dear mom of yours and enjoy the days. you never know what the future holds, including a miracle or a cure. God Bless, Karen

Betty, I've been wondering about you. The cisplatin was pretty rough on Dave, too, but he didn't lose weight. just kept eating to ward off the nausea. Maybe if your doctor considers switcing your chemo he can try the Topotecan? That's what Dave is taking now for his returned SCLC and so is Addie. The first treatment made Dave really sick, but everyone seems to think it was the zometa he got (to build up bone, not a chemo) that made him sick more than the topotecan. We will be praying for you to feel better and to have success. Hang in there and God Bless, Karen

Lori, You can get some help for yourself to help you deal with this. When we learned of my husband's sudden multiple metastasis a week or so ago I FREAKED OUT. I couldn't stop crying, I felt panicky, I could not be alone in a room, not even with just my three year old, without my heart racing and getting an anxiety attack. One of Dave's docs prescribed me a low dose of xanax but I was afraid to take it because I didn't want to be a zombie and have to take care of the two of them. but my therpaist talked me into it and it worked beautifully! she also called my family doc who called me and talked me through it, what dose to take, how often, etc. and it has completely calmed me down and erased the panicky feelings without making me a zombie. Try to get to see a doctor, your family doc if you're at home, I have the feeling you're out of town caring for your dad? maybe one of his doctors will see you and prescribe some xanax for you. I'm taking .5 mg which is low dose, .5 twice a day. it will also help you to think more clearly with these scary situations. Another thing, no matter what, I believe it is very important to keep your father's pain level to a minimum. pain drains the energy from a person. pain does alot of bad things besides just hurting . . . so no matter what, try to find the right drug and the right dosage to manage his pain for him. it's important. take care and God Bless, Karen

Doing OK, and I think Dave is feeling better, but that could be due to his new best friend, Hillbilly Heroin (oxycontin). But the awful pain is gone, yesterday he said it felt just really sore, like healing from the pain, so I guess that is good. Yesterday my mom and I took Faith to the Pooh movie. Today Dave' Northern Va. sister came down with her family, we had lunch, then everyone but Dave went to the Children's museum for a birthday party Faith was invited to. I had never been to one and it was quite neat, Faith and her cousins loved it. Becky was with us until Friay evening and it really helped get us through last week Their parents will be here tomorrow and so I'll feel alot better about leaving Dave and going to work each day. KAREN

Fay, I wish I had some ideas. Maybe we can one day have this site fundraising enough money to have a fund for people in need like that. Dave is working on an idea to make some money for the site, I hope it works Bless your heart, Karen

Cindi, good move. the ER docs where I take Dave says to never hesitate to bring him in when we're not sure about something, a cancer patient should never mess around. so I'm glad you went. God Bless, Karen

Come on Beth!?!?!? You know that the wekness in your legs is from seeing my sexy A$$ in the ER the other day, all drugged up!!!!!! Seriously, hope this is getting better, How's it going other wise?? David C

This is nothing more than a monument to Dave. I know I've gotten on here miserably complaining about him, but that was nothing more than my trying to get through a hard time. That being said - and not being said just to clear up why I'm posting this - here it goes: I love my husband very much. We've had a rocky marriage at times, going through infertility heartaches, financial difficulty (never in trouble, but at times never feeling like we'd get ahead) - him not finding a career that "fit" for awhile but then he did (and those folks are the best employers on earth right now . . . ) etc. But there is no one on the face of this earth that I can ever imagine feeling so comfortable with. He is a part of me. and I probably wouldn't feel so strongly about him if it weren't for all the bad times we went through. He's also a great guy and a person who's friends love him and are loyal to him. He's a good daddy to Faith and she needs him as much if not more than I do. So, Dave, if you read this, I'm sorry for every cross word ever exchanged between us. It breaks my heart to see you so sick. I want everyone to know that you are just as great a guy as you seem to be on this board. Love, Karen

this is the most incredibly loving, generous, open minded, thoughtful, cool thing I've ever heard of someone doing for someone else. what a neat idea. and I love Luna, even though we have two perfectly made choc. labs, I love cats and dogs that have some special quirkiness to them. I have never seen a cat face like the one Luna sports! Karen

Just saw this. I'm a little behind on other's posts due to all our crisises. I think it's a wonderful and appropriate sentiment Curtis, aren't you glad ya'll bought that tshirt? but I like to make tshirts with iron on transfers and I have to tell you, well, I might steal the idea for Faith! I love the stuff you share with us. Karen

Fay, true musicians love and respect other true musicians. I have no doubt these guys will think you rock, no holds barred. these things I've learned from my wonderful husband, who for 13 years made his living as a musician. I want to see the videotape of your concert. Nope, I want to come for it. I kept thinking before Dave's current recurrence that this spring he and FAith and I shoujld take a long weekend plane ride to California and try to meet you, visit Becky, catch up with Andrea, etc. and who knows, we may do it yet, Dave's chemo only lasts into May! Keep us posted! Karen

Addie, IMAGERY WORKS and I LOVE your hardhatted cocktail waitresses serving chemo to the cancer cells is the best I've heard. Dave used imagery for his first chemo treatment, some for his second, and I firmly believe it contributed. yes, it's got to be the zometa and toptecan combined. they're going to do more investigating, in the morning we're going to see our dear radiation onco doc so he can take a closer look at the hip xray, but our onco doc says it doesn't look that bad to him. and dave was having intense pain in places where he doesn't have cancer. thank you for inspiring us to live life through it all. Bless Dave's heart, he's trying. he went with me to pick Faith up from daycare and then on to Becky's hotel room where we had a pizza party and it was the most fun we've had in weeks, mostly due to Faith entertaining us glad to hear things are going so well, and glad to hear that your docs keep saying IT WORKS. our wonderful onco doc keeps telling me to hang in there, he's not giving up on Dave. trust me, when you hear about so many negative or OVERLY realistic or statistic driven attitudes of so many onco docs, hearing his soft, comforting voice saying this makes me stronger than titanium. God Bless you my hero, Karen

AND again, a big thank you to Becky for coming out, we would not have gotten through the week so far without her. and To JustaKid Beth for showing up at the ER. She looked so good and was so perky and funny (her usual self) that it lifted Dave up, you know he kept saying how good she looked and that's what we're here for, to provide HOPE for each other and support. We both slept all day today and Dave feels well enough to go into town and eat out! So off we go to pick up Becky and then Faith from daycare and get a bite. I ask God for miracles, we're getting a small one now, could I have even imagined yesterday Dave would want to go sit in a restaurant today? THANK YOU GOD. I feel my savior Christ besides me now. Love to you all, Karen

first of all Thank each and every one of you for your prayers and thoughts. I have never been in so much pain in all my life. The pain was so bad I cannot/could not explain it. It was mostly in my left hip and knee sockets and left shoulder and elbow sockets. I could barely move. They loaded me up on pain pills and sent me on my way the fist time. Later in the evening the pain came back much, much worse. It even hurt to stay still. OK, enough of that. I will have multiple pain releiving medications here at home from here on out. I am still pretty foggy headed from the drugs but hey......no pain. Karen has been a complete Angel Not to mention my sister Becky from LA who has been a tremendous help to Karen in watching Faith while Karen deals with me.

I saw Beth, Dave saw Beth, and Becky got to meet Beth and talk for a while, and, Beth,. gotta tell you that both Dave and I remarked on ow wel ou looked! A big thank you to "Cousin Beth" for coming and giving us some moral support today, and I know that Becky really enjoyed meeting you. We all need to meet more ofiten, but instead of hospital waiting areas, how about nice warm beaches somewhere? Karen

Becky Faith and I got home around 6:30. Dave was in bed WRACKED in pain, MUCH WORSE than earlier in the day. Oh my. he managed to come downstairs, sat down, and started describing the pain to me. said it was definitely in his bones, his hip bones, his thigh bones, his knee. awful excruiating pain. the church where Faith goes to daycare has a church supper every Wed. eve. so they had packed us enough supper for the four of us, home cooking to be sure, BBQ, new potatoes, cole slaw and applesauce. so we ate, somehow Dave was able to get some food down, and suddenly he looked at me and said we HAVE to go back to the ER NOW. and I must point out he'd already had, oh, four percosets in an hour or two maybe? so Becky and I got Faith in the bath, dogs in the kennel and off we went. I have to give Becky a big gold star for being tricky Aunt of the Year. Somehow managed to get Faith her bath, ready for bed, rocked to sleep, all without Faith realizing we were gone despite repeated queries. Anyway, the ER was packed. Looked like a bunch of flu victims to me. I begged and begged and begged, and my Dad, who showed up and who always shows up when I tell him we're headed to the hospital, anyway he begged, too, please take my husband/soninlaw back, the pain is awful and he may start screaming out there! We even had to get a wheelchair to get him from the car to the ER because the pain was so bad he was afraid to fall. anyway, they finally triaged him after an hour or so there but then told him, sorry, no room in the inn, so you'll have to wait in the waiting area again and no pain meds until a doc sees you which won't happen until you get a bed. anyway, the three of us sat there and watched West Wing and Law and Order, then discused what to do, my dad decided to go home in case Becky needed help with Faith in the morning, but all the while, after popping even more percosets, Dave's pain started stablizing so finally around midnight we decided to leave, things were much better. I had talked to our dear onco doc earlier in the afternoon about Dave's reaction and he said he wasn't sure, but he thought getting the zometa (for the bone mets, not a chemo but to build up bone) and the topotecan together could cause alot of the painful symptoms Dave had. After the pain stablized, I told Dave, maybe the zometa gets right into your bones, and the chemo rides along with it, gets in there and then starts wreaking all kinda of havoc. and maybe, just maybe, all that means is IT'S WORKING. I know all my posts are rambling, but it's good therapy for me, sorry, but maybe our detailed learning experiences can help others. anyway, I'm staying home with Dave tomorrow, Becky will be around alot I know, but I'm not ready to leave him all day yet. besides, I'm going to be pooped tomorrow, it's late and I'm tired! And I am thinking too about how lucky we are to have the support systems we do, especially our family. My 75 year old dad left my cancer stricken mom at home to come be with us in case we needed anything. God Bless him. God Bless us All! Karen p.s. I told Dave that I was so sorry he had to go through all of this, but if months of agony resulted in saving his butt, I didn't care, be in agony! I would take it from him if I could but I can't.

This is Karen. He's OK. well, he's okay, considering. Beth, by the time Becky got back to where we were after talking with you out in the waiting area, they had come in and said he could go home. his bloodwork all checked out OK and his sodium level, which I was SURE was dropping, was actually up by one point since last week. they just said the chemo, and probably the tumors, were kicking his butt. I have never ever seen Dave so wracked in pain and nausea from chemo. and he's had some pretty toxic chemo, twice. wonder if it has something to do with the fact that his last chemo was only 6 weeks ago? I'm going to talk to Dr. S. today about it all. The ER docs called and talked to him. and I just talked to my Mom, who was supposed to have chemo today but Dr. S. said no because she's still not over the side effects from two weeks ago. and he's pulling one of her drugs altogether. anyway, Dave is asleep now and I'm going to run a few errands, then get Aunt Becky to go with me to pick up Faith and bring them all back to our house for some supper tonight. guess I'll try to work tomorrow, Becky will probably hang out with Dave (she got a hotel room so she could work using their high speed internet, we just have slow, patheticially slow dial up out here in the boonies). please keep the prayers coming. AFter reading the topotecan brochure, I see how much we need them! God Bless, Karen

Sandy, great quote. you know over the weekend we were the deer caught in the headlights. but now we are channeling our fear into some real proactive fight. Berisa, I Love the photo of your beloved Dad. you know how much you and your family are in my heart, because Faith came from your part of the world. Fay, man, if that had happened to us, Dave would have exclaimed out loud "cool!" and we wouldn't have gone anywhere. oh, life with Dave, it does teach you to let your guard down! thanks for all the support. everyone. I have to tell you that Monday morning I got up early, alone, and feeling very alone and despondent, and I logged on and starting reading replies to our bad news post and I gotg really lifted up, it inspired me to go hijack the oncology nurse for some action and carried me through the day. to everyone I owe a huge thanks for the support. Karen

I cannot tell you how happy I am that Lucie's liver tumor is manageable and treatable with the RFA. Burn, sucker burn! God Bless you both, Karen