Debi

darn timezones!! Okay, Grandma's cat is BOLD!!

approachable

I cannot stand to hear the word juicy, and have never said it. My mother used to use it all the time, to describe any and all things- so as long as Freud is being called in, you might as well send him my way.. Anyway, my hatred of that word has always been a joke with my daughter and my exes.. they could never figure out why I react to it the way I do (nor can I ), but have known better than to use it more than once...

Geri, You know the answer, I find everything funny, I would never have gotten through some of the times in my life without a sense of humour. Of course, my lung cancer has been no exception. When I first went up north on this 'temporary' assignment, the quarterly reviews were due, the ones where the VP comes down and everyone gathers in a room for the Power Point presentation of each department. I always make a 'lung' joke when the VP is down- don't ask me how it got started- the entire room including the VP wait for it. I have gone through the gamut - expecting the one-lung woman to speak louder, wasting bubble gum since I can only blow lopsided bubbles, my efforts at trying to float sideways, lung cancer Barbie- don't ask. So this time, I wasn't going to be there but my review was. Well, the cover sheet has your Team or Dept number and a flower on the bottom. I googled like crazy and the cover sheet of my review ended up missing the flower but in its place was a chest xray with a big X through the right lung. I was told that it brought down the house. Nothing is sacred actually - years ago my sister and I were in the funeral home standing at her mother-in-law's casket. The woman had wanted all sorts of things in there, a bottle of whiskey, stuffed animal, a phone, etc. We were standing there looking down at all this stuff and without thinking, after seeing the phone, I said to my sister without meaning to be funny - Holy crap Lisa, I forgot to call home. My sister nodded at the phone and said, "feel free". We knelt there trying to fight the giggles, shoulders shaking for what seemed like forever. My boss has told me that in NY this week at the conference, I need to work at being totally unfunny . I think it will be a challenge.

Just wanted to write an update on what's going on with me lately- I am still 'filling in' in Ohio but flew back home on Saturday for Christmas after being away from my son for 28 days!! I'm flying back to Ohio tomorrow, but am bringing my son back with me for 9 days since he is home from school. Then I'm flying back home with him, leaving a few days later for a business conference in NY (I haven't hit NY soil in 7 years!), and then flying back out to Ohio. My original 7 days that I was crying about has turned into 60 days as of this week. I've decided that I am going to give my company a cut off date of January 30th to let me know if this will be permanent, I can no longer live out of a hotel room and not be with my son. The good things that have happened: 1. I have gone from a fraidy flyer to a frequent flyer. 2. I have proved to all that I can run a place successfully, I and those close to me already knew, but now complete strangers know (that would be Corporate ). 3. I can work 72 hour work weeks in peak season, running non-stop with only a lung and a huge lobe. 4. I have become accustomed to housekeeping making my bed and cleaning up after me. 5. I enjoy eating out by myself. 6. I have met some really great people! 7. I have set foot in Macy's again, after way too long an absence!!! My small town here feels way too small these days.. 8. I have had a job offer in Ohio that is as lucrative as the one I trying for now if not more so. Even if my company does not extend an offer, I am okay, and this will not have been for nothing. The important thing out of all of this silly stuff is that I am STILL alive- next month it will be 4 YEARS since they found that shadow on my xray. There is a voice in me that starts whispering that the other shoe is going to fall- all these good things are happening- its a set-up. Its the same voice that is now tellign me that the cancer is in my bones, I have had burning pain in my back the past couple days - never mind that the chiropracter had told me I have 2 degenerative discs in the SAME places where it is burning and I have been lugging boxes to ship home and toting luggage all over Ohio. The only difference from 3 or 2 or even 1 year ago is that now I have learned how to not listen to the voice all the time. I just wanted to post an update, and apologize for not being around much. Hopefully January will be calmer, and I'll be able to post more. I've been scanning the board when I get back to the hotel, but usually its around 9 pm and I'm too tired to do much else. My thoughts are always here with you all, I never forget any of you. Nor do I ever forget that every day that I breathe is a victory in the war against lung cancer and the scars it leaves. Warm wishes to all..

Holy crap - where's the moderator here?? Oh wait, you ARE the moderator.... Glad to see things haven't changed much in my absence. Carry on.

Thanks Frank for that visual. I'm sure I'll be having nightmares involving that pair sometime soon....

Christy, I haven't been on much either but am thrilled to hear that you went ahead with the course!! You know you can do it, I think you can do anything that you put your mind to (Look at the money you raised for your satellite walk!!!) Just stay away from me with your washcloth and toothbrushes.

Donna, Although I check the board, I seldom have time to post these days. But I HAVE to post to this thread not only to congratulate you on your 9 years, but to thank you for sticking around to be a power of example to all of us. Wishing you many many more years!

Nah Randy, if she were looking for the older crowd, she definitely would have hit on Muriel. Muriel, I'm not sure what the timeline should be on the sadness for being left out. I wanna guess- maybe 2 minutes? Its just a shame that the wisdom of the jogs could not be imparted to everyone...

Ya think I can use one of her pics as my avatar?

Well, at least she's interested in the teaching of the jogs. I heard from her too- I guess they spammed everyone.

I'm ready to head on out. They finally put a little 'blurb' in the paper yesterday on page 5 (the newspaper has 10 pages). The reporter never quite got the satellite thing and asked me how many were walking about 5 or 6 times. I don't think she thought it was newsworthy enough and when she put it in the paper- it says Debi and other are walking - I had told her my friend was walking with me, apparnetly she wanted to make it look like it was more than 2 of us. Well, other's son broke his arm last night and had emergency surgery so I am hoofing it alone through the wooded trail. My calves are killing me because I ran through O'Hare airport the other day with a duffel bag carry on that weighed the same as a large dog, in order to catch a connecting flight. I had 20 minutes to make it from all the way down Terminal B to all the way down Terminal F without a moving sidewalk in sight. Next time I am going to take pledges for that! Good, freak-free walks to all!

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every soda can before I open it for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. Though I have no money at all, that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I can't boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my *ss. Thanks to andy Rooney for all the endless advice he has given us. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything. And thanks to all that other great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. Oh, and don't forget this one either! I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies! If you don't send this to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician... Have a wonderful day....

Rochelle, You were one of the first to welcome me to the board. I remember right before my surgery you sent me a virtual card and it meant so much to me. Afterward, we had so many hilarious nights in chat, not even able to see the keyboard we were crying from laughing so hard. Those memories will always be something we share. Thank you for being a good friend.

Good luck Bostonians tomorrow!! Thank you for letting us all tag along on YOUR walk!!!!

Well, I know I don't have to remind the Boston Walkers to take pictures, so I'm just giving a shout out to all you satellites!! Make sure you get a picture of yourself during your walk tomorrow, I'm sure Katie will be more than happy to post us all on here, in our respective walks. Happy walking to all!!!!

EILEEN!!!! Welcome back woman, you've been missed!

Congrats Christy on the newspaper article, is the newspaper online so we can see it? and yes, the satellite walkers are kicking butt, all the walkers are!! If anyone hasn't been totally tapped out yet - I wanted to draw your attention to one of our younger walkers - https://secure.campagne-online.com/regi ... onID=11429 She is Becca, her mom found the Boston site and the Satellite Walker page a little over a week ago, I believe through Google. Becca's PopPop had been diagnosed 2 weeks before with Lung Cancer and Becca wanted to do something in honor of the man she adored. In just over a week, Becca raised $600, even canvassing her neighborhood and putting flyers in mailboxes. I just got an email from Becca's mom saying that Becca's PopPop died today. Her mom said that they are going to put Becca's page in the obituary, to promote awareness and hopefully raise more money to combat the disease that took her PopPop. I know that lung cancer has affected all of us in some way, shape or form. But tonight I am awed by our little heros, like Becca and like Stacy's 2 little girls and any others that I have forgotten to name - children who shouldn't have any worries, but instead are churning out flyers and pounding the pavement for donations. I am completely humbled by their unselfishness.

Andrea, you are so right- you have such a way with words! Damn it all, you guys know I can't do anything in 100 words or less.... What kind of limit is that?

Lily, Great idea about asking the stores where their collection jars are for lung cancer. But to go a step further, you need to have a jar along with you to put on their counter when they say they don't have one!!!!! You are so right when you say its time for action, words just aren't enough anymore!

Okay, so life was good the other day, glad I wrote about it .... Time for whining.. My company is giving me an opportunity where I am going to Ohio for a week, possibly longer, the airline ticket is open-ended. I am leaving next weekend. Although there is no monetary reward right now, there is a possibility at least doubling my salary in the future if things turn out well. This is something that I have wanted, and that at times have been prevented from for various reasons, the last 7 years. So now I am an absolute wreck. The last 2 nights I barely slept because of my fears. I woke this morning with a pain in my midriff, most likely from sleeping 'wrong', but immediately it was cancer in my mind. It started me wondering how I could go out of state alone, what if something happens to me, what if I wake up in the hotel coughing up blood and I end up being admitted to a strange hospital in a different state knowing no one? What if it comes back, or has been here all along, and it kills me in 3 weeks like it sometimes does and I can't get back home to my son? What if I have something in me that will implode when the cabin pressure on the plane increases?? How can I leave my son here while I go there? I was diagnosed when he was THREE, and now he is 7 1/2. Every single day that I have had with him has been a gift to me, and I am always so aware of that. And now I'm throwing 7 of those days, maybe more, away. Only those of us in the cancer world know how important days are, we know how percentages change, how 7 days out of a lifetime seems so little, but then the equation changes and a lifetime isn't as much as we thought it once was- and 7 days take on a whole new meaning. Then of course, there's the fear of flying that those of you who have seen me travel before, know about. Why is it when you ask corporate travel agents to book you a certain way, they go out of their way to make the longest, most inconvenient arrangements? I gave her 2 airport choices and she said there were no direct flights... I am flying cross country to get there, 2 planes, over 4 1/2 hours of flying time. Meanwhile, today I look on EXPEDIA, and there are 2 direct flights from the other airport I gave her, with flying time of 2 hours 15 minutes on ONE plane, count em Corporate Travel Agent, NOT TWO!! Either way I still am terrified, but halving my terror would've been nice. Finally, all this insecurity has managed to nibble away at the one place where I DO feel secure, my professional abilities. Now I'm thinking to myself, am I crazy? I can't do this- the whole company will know I'm a failure, I won't be able to pull this off. Everyone will find me out, maybe they are setting me up to fail. I'm starting to feel like Carrie at the prom, with the bucket of pig blood above her. I know that this will all pass, well, all except the fear of flying. I know that in 9 days I will shove my neuropathy burning feet into my pumps and suck it up, put my prom dress on, pretend I can feel my hands and that my bra isn't killing me and do all I can to wow them up there. But right now I just feel scared, and inadequate. I think in the back of my mind I feel that if something good happens, it will be followed by something bad. Sometimes, its just hard to accept that life can be good.

Well, I used to go to the ocean, or drive up to the mountains. Now that I'm land-locked in a flat land (and please don't anyone tell me the Arbuckle's are mountains), I do the next best thing. SHOP!!

Dress= up, down and over Next word= book

All of the above.. but I have to admit that the worst of all the evils mentioned is the one when they don't have their checkbook out and the check filled out. I mean, is this a SURPRISE?? Yes lady, you.. surprise surprise, you actually have to PAY for your freakin groceries!!!! Thanks Don and Ann, now my blood pressure is up...