Debi

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those"cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss.How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out.Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax, yeah...right!") I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works ! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself -What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?"She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working,dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color .

too funny!!!

When a Man Loves A Woman .... beneath the sheets!

Mary, All I can tell you is from my experience. When the 'shadow' in my lung first showed up, it was 11mm and not only too small to biopsy, but in a bad place to reach. I had a PET scan but was told that I would be lucky if it showed anything, since it was so small. It didn't. I ended up going back for a CT in 3 months, and the nodule had grown, so they elected to operate. I really don't know what type of questions you should ask Mary, but I wish you luck. The one thing that I would ensure though is that if they propose to follow-up, that they do so in 3 months or so, and not wait longer. Just my opinion.

Well, for crying out loud why didn't you tell us all about this so we could have stalked him?? I think he was on Snowflake's top 5 hunk list or something... and I'm thinking GinnyDe has mentioned him once or twice in the past if I remember correctly.... Geesh Marie...

A story about life! God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten? So God agreed. On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God agreed. On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again. On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" Okay," said God, "You asked for it." So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you.

I just saw this- great!!!!!!!!

Paul McCartney

Tracy, I understand. Between the one year date and scans in the morning - this couldn't have been an easy day. Tomorrow will be better.

Happy birthday Tony and congrats on the 2 years. Deb it is so great to see your happiness. I just can't believe you won't give me your address so I can mail Tony the 70 sea monkeys...

75% here too - annoys the heck out of me because 2 of the answers I changed and they turned out wrong - I should have gone with my first picks....

Well, all I can say is its a good thing Bill Gates took the test and got a 3 also... I mean a 3.

54% (Dixie). Barely into the Dixie category. Apparently my time in Oklahoma and places south have completely influenced my composition....

Same thing - hilarious.

Okay, I don't think I ever saw this one here.. I laughed my a** off!!! Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have ... (keep reading) Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love, I concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Jim, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead." Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

I think I've seen this before on here, or something similar but I got it again today and thought it was funny- I walked into a Blimpie's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free". "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, so I guess they're both free". She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door. They walk among us and many work retail. ------------------ A friend of mine bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. My friend decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. They walk among us. ------------------- One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?" They Walk among us! ------------------- While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." They Walk Among Us!! ------------------ I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific." They Walk Among Us! ------------------- My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving." They Walk Among Us! ------------------- My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk. They Walk Among Us! ------------------- My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. They Walk Among Us! ------------------- I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned. They Walk Among Us! ------------------- I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?" They Walk Among Us! ------------------- While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces." Yep, They Walk Among Us! ------------------- They walk among us, AND they reproduce!

Liz, When I have my tests scheduled, I try to put it out of my mind and tell myself I will really worry when I go to the doctor for the results. Of course, I couldn't do it in the beginning but now I go through the tests pretty much okay because I know that the worrying time isn't here yet. Then, I make sure that my follow-up appointment with the doctor is as close as possible to the tests - none of that wait one week for me, it drives me crazy. I know how long the hospital takes to send the results to the doctor and it is usually within 24 hours. So my appointment is no more than 2 days after. I am usually okay between the tests and the doctor appointment because as I said earlier, I have designated 'worry time' and it hasn't arrived yet. THe morning of the doctor appointment I am a total freak and can barely write my own name until I see him and get the results. I sit in the waiting room feeling like my nerves are all on the surface of my skin and any moment I am going to be in the chandelier. By the time I see him, I am wound SO tight that I'm shaking. But that's okay - I would rather have an hour or two of complete panic, then weeks of worry. Basically, this is what I have done to get through things, I have to play games with myself. Sort of like when you set the alarm clock ahead because you need to trick yourself into waking up on time. I set a couple hours of panic time to trick myself into not worrying, because I'm not allowed to until the allotted time. For whatever reason, this works for me, most of the time...

From a fellow right one lober - you sound wonderful and am glad you feel well. Keep posting!

I am so sorry that you had to come home early from the party because of how you felt. I understand totally where you are coming from. I remember one time I ran into someone about a year from my surgery and they looked shocked to see me. They commented, "wow, you look good" with almost a question mark at the end and pretty much rushed out of the store like they had seen a ghost. I'll never forget that, it was just so bizarre!!! Keep hanging in there - show these people that you are very much alive and not going anywhere!!!!!!

Don, Sorry I missed this on Thursday- What a wise thing to do having dinner out on Lucie's birthday- just another reason why you are such a wise man. AM glad that you were able to turn a sad day, into at least a bittersweet one. Thinking of you both today.

I'm not a Sears fan either. Since I'm pretty much living a transient lifestyle at the present moment and don't have a home (jeesh, that sounds scary when you actually type it ), i have no clue and it would have to be stored. I guess I would get a really nice gas grill, an outdoor patio set, a really really nice vacuum (the kind you hate to waste money on yourself)and save the rest for Christmas. I think they have nice Christmas things there and most of my Christmas stuff has crossed the fine line from family heirloom potential to busted trash.

Hands down, it would have to be "40 Year Old Virgin". I laughed through the whole movie, I hardly ever laugh out loud but that movie kept me going. I just saw the movie Borat and have to admit that there were a few scenes in it that made me laugh.

Traffic is the worst. At least in the supermarket you can *itch to the person next to you.

Eileen, Okay, I googled and I really don't think you have anything to worry about. From my 'take' on it, this looks like it may be a result from your surgery. Below is the definition of linear opacity- no surprise here. By saying it is stable, that is a very good thing because they are probably also assuming it is from your surgery, but watching just the same. (Of course I'm not a doctor. Have you asked yours exactly what it means?) Irregular linear opacity a linear opacity of irregular thickness varying from 1 to 3 mm. It may be intralobular or extend through several lobules. It usually reflects atelectasis or scarring. atelectasis: loss of lung volume with reduced inflation of a segment or a lobe.

Heights - protected, unprotected Snakes Worst movie = Snakes on a Plane