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VegasMomOf3

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Everything posted by VegasMomOf3

  1. Jackie, Thoughts and prayers of comfort for you and the family. Hugs, Donna
  2. Hi Jackie, My thoughts and prayers are with your Dad. Try and focus on you and Mom getting some much needed rest. I know it's difficult while at the hospital....maybe one of you could stay with him over-night while the other goes home to sleep?? It's a GREAT sign that he's already looking better after some hydration. Hugs, Donna
  3. I was asked this question by MANY people and wished now that I had the "Why do you ask" line at the time. It made me feel like my Mom was being "punished" for smoking. It's frustrating and emotions are incredibly raw. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs, Donna
  4. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I just recenly lost my Mom so if you would ever like to chat feel free to pm me. It's gut wrenching to let go of such a dynamic person we've known our entire lives but I'm sure she could feel all the love from you and the family asa I know my own Mom did. Hugs, Donna
  5. Prayers and hugs to you and Mom!! Donna
  6. Big hugs and prayers to you and the family!! When my Mom was diagnosed I fell into a pit of emotions that changed every minute. It takes over every aspect of your life. I was selfish in that I wanted Mom to stay with us, although she was in so much pain. It's been almost 2 months since Mom passed and the emotions are still there, just not as sharp of a pain. Although I spent Mom's last 3 weeks with her, I wanted more time. Still do. Make the very most of every second. Regardless of what the doctors say, God is the deciding factor in how this all plays out. Don't lose hope and try to keep a smile on your face. Hugs, Donna
  7. Jackie, I'm praying for you all!!! My Mom had home hospice care and it was such a huge help. Anything Mom needed they took care of, which allowed us quality time with her. Hug and kiss your dad 1000 times everyday and make the most of every second. Donna
  8. Hi Julia, I really liked Jackie's suggestion. Write down a schedule and put them on it!!! And please don't forget your needs. Be very up-front about the fact that you need to get away for an hour or two every week and ask who will cover you during that time. I think the more open you are with his family, the better you will all feel about the situation. Maybe start the conversation telling them that you appreciate their efforts and don't know what you would do without them & their time. And - they can't read your mind so probably don't know what you need. And Welthy is so right!!! One can't EVER imagine what it's like to be a caregiver 24/7.....and how it proves to be taxing on your mind, body & spirit. My Dad broke down and cried when I told him that I was staying to care for Mom. My Dad had been caring for Mom since her dx in May and although my siblings and I flew there as often as we could, it just wasn't the same as having 24/7 help. I was able to spend Mom's final 3 weeks with her and never left her side.....which allowed my Dad to get some much needed sleep & time for himself. And, since I have a medical background he was no longer stressed about her medical needs. Respite is so very important for the primary caregiver!!! I am praying for you and your family. Hugs, Donna
  9. It's the best feeling in the world to know that others really do care for you and are there for you. My employer and co-workers were so wonderful to me!! I was able to spend Mom's final 3 weeks with her without worrying about my job or my work that needed to be done. My boss actually told me that I needed to stay with my Mom. And after my Mom passed my Dad was absolutely blown away when a huge bouquet of flowers arrived from my employer!! Once I came back to work I had a ton of cards waiting for me. I was blessed with prayers, hugs, money, groceries...........I was so very thankful!! Hugs, Donna
  10. Overall, Hospice was a great thing for my Mom. They coordinated EVERYTHING!! Equipment, medications (which were free once on Hospice), really anything we needed for Mom. It sure allowed Dad and I to concentrate just on Mom. And the Hospice continues to follow-up with My Dad for 18 months after my Mom passed away. When you really think about it, the services they give are a godsend!! My thoughts and prayers with you. Hugs, Donna
  11. I found that humor does wonders as it lightens the heart!! My Mom and I would be up at like 2am telling jokes and giggling - my Dad would hear us and pop his head in the door and get an ear-to-ear grin on his face too. Donna
  12. Hi there! I didn't think there could be anything harder than watching my Mom die. Boy was I wrong! Seeing women my age with their mothers just takes my breath away. I want so badly to tell them to CHERISH EVERY SECOND!! But I stop myself from scaring the masses. I spent the final 3 weeks of my Mom's life with her........but of course I want more. I guess that's natural. She and I had many talks, laughs & tears......but I want more. I call my Dad everyday, sometimes more than once. I don't want to burden him with my feelings so I've backed off with sharing my every thought. I get these moments where I want to scream and hit something. Tears come then. This dreaded disease robbed me of my Mom and I'm quite ticked about it. I wonder too if I was so caught up with Mom's care that I didn't go through any of the "6 stages" of death & dying until now. Oh Lord please tell me this will one day get easier. Donna
  13. Hello everyone, Today at 8:12am my Mom passed on. She was sedated & comfortable and is now in a better place with no pain or shortness of breath. This surely proves to be a double edged sword..........want her here vs. want her at peace. Hospice was amazing. My Dad is in shock....he says that it just doesn't seem real. I agree. I keep walking back to her bedroom expecting to see her in bed. How is it anyone can come to terms or even begin to accept losing a person who has been a constant fixture since the day I was born?? Mom & Dad were married 48 years (since age 16 & 17) so I hurt for my Dad. I just don't know what to tell him when he asks how to move on. Donna
  14. My Mom used Marinol - worked GREAT for her appetite!!
  15. Hello everyone. I'm not sure if I told you all that Mom had lost the use of her lower body. On 9/25 she was brought by ambulance to the hospital for a CAT scan to determine what was the cause. While on the way to the hospital her blood pressure dropped and we almost lost her. I flew that same night here to Washington. I went straight to the hospital and saw that Mom was having very distressed breathing. CAT scan determined that her tumor has compressed 2 of her vertebrae so the paralysis is permanent. I've been here ever since. As of this past Sunday Mom was lucid and eating great along with being in good spirits. Monday morning she went into respiratory distress so I began dosing her with Morphine - which helped. Her kidneys began shutting down yesterday. She hasn't eaten in 3 days but has taken small sips of juice. The main thing we are trying to do is keep her comfortable. It wont be long now before we lose this dynamic and funny woman. My siblings are here too which is causing some stress. Last night my older brother (who is not known for much tact) demanded to know why I was taking Mom's blood pressure. I told him it is part of caring for her. He then says right in front of Mom & Dad, "she's on her way out, why are you continuing this". I was floored by this so the only thing I could think to do was to tell him to shut up. He began arguing with me then Dad yelled at him to either shut up or leave the room. So my brother packed up his stuff, told my other sibs that Dad told him to "get the f--- out" and left back to California. Once my Dad found out that he had left he got very upset and started having chest pain. I took his BP and it was 177/117. I asked him to lie down and sip some water. Thankfully his BP came down, but it's still higher than I would like to see it. I can't even begin to explain how upset I am with my brother - he makes everything about him. He's just a brat in my eyes. All of my sibs don't agree with how Dad and I are caring for Mom. They think the nebulizer treatments are prolonging her misery. Dad and I have tried to explain to them all this it's just keeping her comfortable and it certainly wont prolong or save her life. At this point I'm not sure how to get through to them or if it's even necessary. I sent my brother a text message this morning asking him to come back but I've heard nothing. He did call my Dad a little while ago and I heard my Dad yelling at him again - I was so scared that Dad's BP was going to shoot up again!! So needless to say, I'm keeping a very watchful eye on Dad. Be Blessed, Donna
  16. Hi Hawkeye, I am in the insurance industry and would be more than happy to assist in any way I can. Hugs, Donna
  17. My prayers, thoughts and hugs to you and your family. You are so incredibly blessed to have grown up with such a hero! Be Blessed, Donna
  18. When my Mom & Dad went out shopping not long ago they were both elated!!! Later my Dad admitted to me that he's waiting for the other shoe to drop which makes it hard to enjoy the good times - but he is sure giving it his best. Yes, this cancer is sneaky, deceptive & so all encompassing for so, so many people. Sometimes I just want to have a tantrum and kick and scream and "beat the heck" out of this cancer!! Donna
  19. Caring thoughts and huge hugs coming your way. Donna
  20. Hi there, Mom's loss of feeling and use of her lower body may be from her dilaudid pump - according to her pain management doc. The nurse shut her pump off yesterday at 3pm and the doctor said to give it approximately 24 hours to see if the feeling in her legs comes back. This just happened so fast and the doc commented that disease progression symptoms such as what Mom is experiencing happens more slowly over time and when it happens over-night like with Mom, it's usually from medication. Needless to say I've got my fingers & toes crossed and am praying constantly that this is just from the medication and can be reversed. Hugs to all, Donna
  21. Hi there everyone! I'm not quite sure what to make of these new events so thought I would ask all of you. My Mom can no longer stand up.....she told me that her legs are just too weak. My Dad has been getting her up to use the bathroom when she feels the urge, but then nothing happens so she is now using Depends. The hospice nurse is going to insert a catheter today. What the heck is going on??? Is this the progression of her cancer?? Donna
  22. I'm praying that the treatments will "kick that cancer's butt"!!!!!!! Hugs your way. Donna
  23. Wow - you've got so much weighing on your heart! I am saying a special prayer for vespas's beautiful Mom right now. Are there any favorite meals that she would enjoy?? Or small portion snack type food that can be left within reach for her throughout the day? When the doctors finally found the right combo of anti-nausea/constipation medicine for my Mom, her appetite was so much better......the more she ate the better she felt. My thoughts are with your family. Be Blessed, Donna
  24. All of my thoughts, prayers & hugs are coming your way. Donna
  25. Hi there!! First off I want to apologize for getting so upset yesterday - I really can't remember the last time I was that angry!! You are all so AWESOME!! I spoke with my Mom last night - didn't let her know that I was aware of what the hospice nurse had said. I let Mom lead the conversation. Asked her how her day was.....she mentioned that the nurse had come by and how much she likes her. She then mentioned a cream that Dad had bought online that he rubs on her back - she says it really works on her pain AND it only costs $13, which is amazingly low compared to the price of some of the other products my Dad has purchased. That's when I jumped in and told her that there are things out there to treat her naturally AND hopefully cure her cancer and that Dad has put so much time and research into this that personally I'm with him 150% on what he thinks is best. She then agreed BUT didn't seem as positive about it. Dad's response to the whole thing did wonders but we are still going to have to make up for what the nurse said yesterday. My Dad and I would love to get a different nurse - but Mom likes her personality and having her around. Yikes!! Fillise - good question. As I'm sure you know, many people get better and come off of hospice......that is our goal with Mom. Hospice is providing Dad with the "medical" support he needs in order to better focus his efforts on the naturopathic treatment of mom. It's working for the time being.....now if we can just tape the nurse's mouth shut!! LOL!! Jackie - I loved your comment about the nurse caring for the body, the mind is for the family to care for!!! Perfect example!! Randy, thanks so much for the web address - I'm going to look at it as soon as I'm done here. And DARNIT - this nurse IS NOT God. She can't determine a damn thing!!! Be Blessed, Donna
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