Dear Cindi,
I am so sorry about your Mom. I understand completely where you are coming from. In less than 2 weeks it will be 1 year since I lost my Mom. She too was my best friend and my tower of strenght. I am going to be up front with you, the road to this point has not been easy, but as time goes on and as you continue to pass those days of firsts, and there are a lot of them, I find she is within me. You will find her in you as well with all that you've done together, your strenght will come from her. She was a very stong person, and you will draw your strenght from that. I found that happening to me. My Mom too was a hero, and I am proud of it. I want to be just like her and you are walking the same path, I see it there. Give it time, cry, scream, ask why. I still do, but I now know, she is within me, she tries to calm me, as she always did, and you will feel it too. Cindi, it will get better, but it takes time, this doesn't happen overnight. If you want to talk more e-mail me. We are close in age, and my birthday is May 19th. Hang on....
Dona