Caren

Thanks, Ladies (((HUGS)))

Phew!!!

Carol, I am also hoping that you meant to write June. January is so far away.

KC (((HUGS))) I am so sorry that you are having to face this with another close family member. I can't answer your questions, I only wish I could, but what I will ask is has your Aunt had a Bronchoscopy yet to determine that the mass on her lung is in fact Cancer and which type and stage it is? Another thing I would like to say is that I don't know exactly how LC metastasises to the brain but I do remember once being absolutely petrified for my dad b/c he lost his thoughts and memories and started 'wondering' in his mind and it turned out to be a Urine Infection causing this. I do also know that if your Aunt is Hypoxic (Low Oxygen Levels) this can also cause confusion. I hope this helps somewhat and I'm sure that there will be someone coming along very soon who may be able to help you further.

Obituary JOHNSON, Thomas David. 22nd May. Peacefully. Thomas Davey, aged 69 years of Aycliffe Village. A fine Dad, Grandad, Brother and friend. Funeral Wednesday 3rd June. Would friends please meet at 2.45pm for Service at St Andrew's Church prior to Cremation at Darlington.[/i]

Happy Birthday!!!

I just feel so empty. I want to do things (the house is an absolute mess) but every time I start doing something I don't feel like doing it anymore. Even though there are still 5 of us and the dog in the house it seems so quiet. You would have thought that my dad made a lot of noise and yet he was always so quiet. I am trying to eat, although it's the last thing I want to do. I know that I have to keep my strength up in order to be functioning well for the funeral, it's just so hard to take a mouthful of food when every one makes me feel physically sick. Mornings seem to be worse. I sit outside in the sunshine with coffee and my thoughts and it's just so sad. Then the children get up and the day begins and I have to try to carry on as 'normal' as I can. I just want the coming week to be over so that I know he's in his final resting place and not just waiting around in the Mortuary and Chapel. We have a really old bench in the garden that my dad always talked about restoring (it's more of a long work bench) if he had the energy. My husband has said that he is going to restore it and have a plaque engraved and put on. My youngest child requested some Roses for Grandad and so we will plant a Rose Tree next to the bench. Now I'm just rambling......

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I know that dad had been deteriorating slowly over the past few weeks, but after being told on Monday that he had weeks left, this morning and a phone call at 6:30am came as quite a shock to us all. Dad managed to wait for me to arrive. I gave him a kiss and told him that I loved him and that it's Ok if he wants to go now. He took another breath and then he left, peacefully. I didn't find the time to speak with him about his final wishes, although I did already know a few of them and so I will work with and build on those and hopefully I will get it right for him on the day.

My dad, Dave, passed away peacefully at 7am this morning, with me holding his hand. Sleep well now, Dad, we all love and miss you!!! Caren x I would like to thank each and everyone one of you for the kindness, love and support that you having given to me during the past 9 months. Caren x

Arghhhh.....of all the days! My son has to go to another hospital tomorrow to have 2 teeth removed. He has been on the waiting list since before Christmas and has suffered toothache on and off for a few months prior to that. So I was hoping that dad won't be sent for radio-therapy (at a different hospital) until Friday when I could go with him. They are sending him tomorrow and so I can't go, but they said that they will take him in an ambulance and he will have an escort with him at all times. So that gives me some peace of mind. I then received a phone call from the people who supply home oxygen to say that the nurse has requested them to bring the oxygen tomorrow!! I had to explain to them that while I hate to be a pain in the rear, I really can't put off this appointment for my son any longer and so could they please contact the nurse again and maybe arrange a different day. They were very good and said that they will call me later to let me know what they will be doing. I feel like I need to be split in a few different pieces right now. Oh and also, dad said that they are talking about discharging him on Friday if he isn't showing any adverse affects from tomorrow's radio-therapy session. This is great news, but it has rushed us into the surprise of redecorating and refurnishing my dad's bedroom for him. We planned on doing this over the weekend, but now my hubby has taken this evening off from College and we will be painting the room later.

I hate him being in the hospital. I hate not being able to take his medications and wash things through to him in the mornings and then making his breakfast and coffee. I hate this damn disease I know that he's in the best place for him, but this means that when he goes through to the other hospital (about 30 miles away) to have his radio-therapy that he will be taken in a hospital mini-bus and then basically dumped there with all the other patients needing the same treatments, until they are all ready to come back to the hospital again. I think I will speak with the Doctors and see if they can give him some mobile oxygen and we can take him through in the car. It's so hard for me to speak with anyone regarding his treatments b/c visiting hours run through school ending hour and that means that we don't get very long there b/c we have no-one to watch over the children for us. Trying to speak with a nurse or Doctor can take anywhere up to one hour before they get to you. The lack of communication really aggravates me, actually. Sorry for the little vent, but needed to let that out.

That is awful! I will be sending positive vibes for Mitch to have a very speedy recovery!!

Very cute!

I will be keeping MJ in my thoughts too!

Donny, You don't sound morbid at all. I am a very realistic person and I know that no matter how much I don't want my dad to die (I mean who would?) he is going to die and we need to get these things arranged so that I can carry out his final wishes to the best of my abilities. Usually I'm really up front and quite abrupt about these sort of things and I would be the one sounding quite morbid, but I feel that b/c my dad doesn't know (well in his heart and body he probably knows) or hasn't asked if they end is near then if I go in there and start talking about hospice and funerals then he's going to either think that I've given up hope, or he will know that when I stayed back to speak with the Oncologist alone this is what I was talking about.

I would like to thank you all for your continuing support. It really does mean so much to me to know that you are all here looking out for one another. (((HUGS))) I don't really know what to think right now, or what to feel, or even how I should be feeling, if any of that makes any sense at all? I feel fine, actually, but the I feel very guilty for feeling fine and so I guess that really I don't feel as fine as I think I do. I haven't cried....yet.....I'm sure that in time there will be plenty of tears. I know that I should now maybe start helping my dad make his arrangements for his service and such but I don't know how to broach the subject with him, or even if I should be broaching it, or waiting for him to say something? I have so many questions running through my mind but I don't know how to ask any of them

We went to Clinic to see the Oncologist to discuss dad's recent hospital stay and while we were there the Cancer nurse ran a few tests and they readmitted him to hospital with low oxygen levels and tachycardia. They think it's caused by the tumour pressing on the valves of the heart. He will be having some radiotherapy this week for symptom control. They have explained to us that there are no more Cancer drugs to try as even while on the Tarceva the Primary tumour carried on growing and spreading and also my dad's body isn't coping well with it all. I asked to speak with the Oncologist alone and told him that I wanted the cold hard facts now. He told me that it isn't good news and that dad has a matter of weeks, possibly a couple of months, left. I know that a lot of you don't agree with asking, but I wanted to know so that I can start getting my dad's things in order. I can also see for myself at how fast he's deteriorating that it wouldn't be too much longer now. They have said that he will be staying in the hospital for at least one week to run tests and try and get his heart into a normal rhythm. While he is in there they will arrange some oxygen to be sent home ready for when he gets here. So I guess this is the beginning of a long and hard journey for my dad

Hi I'm very sorry to hear that you lost your sister and now your mother has this diagnosis. This is a wonderful group of people who will give you all of the advice and support that they can. Take care!!

I was under the same illusion when my dad had his blood transfusion. He showed a very slight improvement and I was expecting miracles. Give her a few days to rest and recover and I'm sure she will be just fine.

Judy (((HUGS))) Sorry to hear that you had such a bad night and hope that you are feeling a little better now!!!

Congrats on being smoke-free for 9 months, Kukla, you're doing excellent!!! It's hard, isn't it, to keep telling yourself that although you want a cigarette, you don't need it and so therefore you don't have it? I am actually doing amazingly well with it and very rarely have any cravings at all. I would say that over the period of 7 days if you put together my 'craving time' it would only be a couple of hours worth. I hope that you find it easier to be without them soon!!!!

Hi Kukla I'm sorry to hear that you are all going through a bad time with everything right now. I'm glad to hear that Glenn and Dizzy are both recovering and am sending some positive thoughts that you have them both home with you soon! (((HUGS)))

Thanks ladies It's so good to know that I can come here and talk and vent if I need to and have people here who understand that sometimes you just need to 'let it all out'. Dad has drunk lots of milk and water today but he's only urinated twice (It's now 10:30pm) today and not opened his bowels. If he doesn't open them in the morning I have something that should help with that and so I will give him some of that.

My eyes feel heavy and my back and tummy hurt, along with a slight sore throat. I just feel so drained right now. This is how I felt after dad's diagnosis and failed attempt with is first line treatment. He recovered so well from all of that over the following months, that I got lulled into a false sense of security....b*stard Cancer playing games with everyone!! On a brighter note though, dad is feeling much better today. He isn't coughing so much since starting the Codeine last night and he seems to have drunk twice as much as he has in the past few days. He's trying his hardest to eat and is managing very small amounts on regular intervals which is great. There is just one thing concerning me now, it's 6:15pm and he hasn't passed urine since getting up at 9am or opened his bowels at all today.