Caren

Yes I do and I have had a few over the years. My eldest daughter also has them.

This is wonderful news, Denise (((HUGS)))

Michelle (((HUGS))) I will continue to keep you both in my thoughts. Stay strong sweetie, you are doing such a great job of wife and caregiver and it takes a strong person to do this so god is only giving what you can handle and you CAN handle it...it's just a rough day! (((HUGS)))

Oh Susan I am so pleased that your mum is home and starting to feel better. The reduction in dosage sounds like a plan that could work It's great to know that you got to go and spend the weekend with your mum!!

I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences.

I would like you to know that I am thinking of you and your friend's family at this time. (((HUGS)))

Jean I am so very sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences at this time. (((HUGS)))

My husband is a bit of a night owl and so most nights I find myself climbing into bed alone. This is fine..it has always been this way and so I'm used to that. What I am not used to is lying there and thinking about how our day went or things that need to be done the following day and such and then snuggling down and closing my eyes and then the first thing I see, on closing them (most nights), is my dad's face as he left this earth. God that hurts so bad to see that. I really wished that I could see his face but not at that moment. It takes a while for me to get over that and drift into sleep.

(((HUGS)))

Hi Michelle My dad was also on Carbo/Gemzar and only had one full cycle of a planned four. This was due to his counts dropping too low too fast. He needed a transfusion and on top of this he caught an infection and spent 7 days in hospital. The Oncologist wasn't happy with this and stopped treatment.

Susan (((HUGS))) I am so glad that your boss is kind enough to arrange a well needed visit with your mum for you. I hope that you can put aside the feeling of being scared and manage to spend some wonderful quality time with your mum this weekend and I also hope that she starts to feel better and get stronger again soon.

As you all know my dad lived in the house with us for his last two years of life and so he played a huge part in my three childrens' lives. They all cried hard and talked about him often for the first two or three weeks of his passing but then as time went on they slowly stopped crying and talking so much about him. I don't mind this as they are children and they are just being 'children'. I wouldn't expect them to still be consumed by grief almost three months after his passing. Periodically they will talk of him and say that they miss him or they will remember something that he would say or do and they will laugh about it, which is great. Yesterday my In-laws were coming to visit and stay over for the night (they live 250 miles away). The girls were becoming more and more excited as the day went on and then I went upstairs and found my eldest daughter (14) having a cry. I asked why she was crying and she said that while thinking about Nanny and Granddad coming to visit she had started to think more about Granddad Dave and how much she really misses him. Then last night my youngest daughter mentioned Granddad and she too had a little cry. I think it's good for them to get on with their lives and not grieve but at the same time I don't think it hurts them to cry every once in a while. I think that seeing Granddad Harry made the realisation of never seeing Granddad Dave again hit them harder I just held them both and let them sob telling them that I love them and it's ok to be sad. I didn't know what else to do.

I am sure that your mum is smiling down on your and very proud of the way you are living your life. It's so nice that your dad has someone to be with who understands and respects that he still grieves the lady whom he spent many years with. She must be a very special lady and maybe your mum sent her as a gift to watch over you all. Can I just add that looking at your Avatar, your mum really was a very beautiful woman!!

Susan I am so sorry to hear that your mum isn't doing so well right now. I will be sending many positive vibes for a fast recovery for her.

I am very sorry to read this posting.

Today marks one year since my dad received his diagnosis. 4 months ago I was really looking forward to this day and being able to come here and tell everyone that he was a one year survivor, now it's hard to believe that he has been gone for almost three months

Carleen I am so sorry to hear that you are still struggling so much now. Have you spoken with a grief counselor, I know that you may have done so soon after losing Keith but have you spoken to one recently? I wish I knew what to say to make things easier for you but I really don't. All I can do is offer you a huge (((HUG))) and hope that the sun appears from behind those clouds for you soon.

Pat Smoking is an addiction and a very hard one to break. You will know this from quitting in the past. Be gentle on yourself and when the time is right for you to put them down again you will do just fine without them. Your husband may not be proud of you for lighting up after his death but I am sure that there are many, many things that you do each day to make him very proud of you. So again, please be gentle on yourself. Beating yourself up over this will only make you feel worse and in turn smoke and eat more. You'll get there in the end. Be strong (((HUGS)))

Hi Eileeen My dad smoked for many years and then quit around 18 years before diagnosis. I smoked for 24 of my 34 years of life and quit 10 months ago today : I tried several times over the years but only ever managed for a maximum of 8 weeks. I would become very angry and cry lots and then use that as an excuse to smoke because it wasn't fair on my husband and children to see me that way. You get the picture? Finding out that my dad had end stage LC really gave me the kick up the *ss and the determination I needed to quit. I smoked my last one on 3rd October '08 and haven't looked back since. Even when I lost my dad and really wanted 'just one'. I willed myself not to.

Hi Ginny I'm so pleased that your friend is coping with Tarceva without any side-effects. That's wonderful for her!! I hope that the drug works well for her for a long time to come. My dad started Tarceva as his 2nd line treatment but sadly for him he was one of the minority that suffer just about every nasty side-effect possible and therefore only took it for a very short time and passed away shortly after that. I guess that just like any other Cancer drug some people will respond very well to it while others won't.

Lisa It has been a little over two months since my dad passed away and I still sit here thinking 'I want my daddy'. I truly don't think that thought will ever leave us completely, but as time goes on I started to realise that a little more time had passed during the day without me thinking constantly about my dad and then the next day a little more time. The numb feeling you talk of was with me for a good 4-5 weeks. In fact if I'm being honest I don't remember much of the first month after my dad's passing. It's all just a blur of tears and emotion. I don't cry so often, but last night I sobbed myself to sleep and I'm sure that there will be many more nights of doing that ahead of me. I wish I could tell you that everything will be ok and that you will start to feel better soon but everyone grieves in different ways and at their own pace. What I can do, however, is offer you a huge ((((HUG))) and hope that it helps just a little.

Beautiful!

(((HUGS)))

This is great news!!

Beautiful babies!! Congratulations on being stable too!