hollyridge

I have to chime in and say that this board has been my lifeline and I am eternally grateful to you both.

Love your sense of humor. . .keep the faith . . . your doc sounds like he wants to stay on top of things. That is good news!

Good luck with the scans. I will pray.

We have all been where you are and we are here to help. Take it slow and try to remember that there is always hope and here on this board there is always help. Take good care of yourself. The stress of dealing with this disease is really tough. I will pray for you to find the strength you need to help your mom. Don't be shy about leaning on us. We want to be there for you. Let us know the latest from the doc.

I am so, so sorry. My heart just aches for you. Please know that I am praying for you often and asking God to somehow help your pain be lessened.

In small cell lung cancer it can be considered extensive stge if the mets have spread far from the original tumor site. In my husbands case he was diagnosed at first with limited because it was one tiny spot in the lungs and one tumor on the chest wall. He was not considered extensive until 6 months later when it spread to his adrenal glands. He worked everyday for 19 months and then retired the first of this year, Working is definately therapeutic for most people. Welcome to the board. We will be happy to help any way we can.

I am so sorry. This is devastating. I will keep you in my prayers. I don't know what else to do.

You are all too funny! Welcome home Ry.

That was me. . . not logged in. Sorry

A friend of ours recommended the web site "Crossing the Creek" before Bill died. I read it through and did not see that it pertained to us but thought it was interesting. After Bill died the same friend, who had just lost his wife four months previous, printed it out and had me read it again. Then I realized whast we had been eperiencing for a few weeks. Bill only had a few hours of not speaking but he did communicate even though he had ativan and morphine from hospice the last three hours. He smiled and he grunted in different tones to what we were telling him. He mouthed the words "I love you" to me just one hour before he died. He was so peaceful and I am grateful for the last minute help that the hospice nurse gave. We had not even enlisted their help yet but at about 4:00pm that day I realized he was dying and I called them rather than calling an ambulance and they sent a nurse and she made sure he was comfortable and then went to another patient. He was gone in less than 4 hours. I think we all have anxiety about those last days or hours because in our hearts we wanted to be able to perforn a miracle and stop the dying process. Only God can do that. We feel that guilt as we explore our actions to find some comfort in those final hours. A wise friend of ours told me and my kids the night before Bill died that we would just follow our hearts when the time came and that no matter what we did we were doing the right thing. He said you cannot make a wrong decision when you love someone. Do not look back. All decisions and actions at that time were the best we could give our loved ones and should not be regretted. Look for your peaceful memories and give the guilt a resting place. It is a destructive emotion and has no place in the hearts and minds of us who gave so much care to our loved ones. I am praying for peace for you.

My husband had a very good sense of humor and since the day he died different people have been smelling smoke in my house. This has been going on for over a month now and all of my kids have experienced it and so have many friends who don't even know about it. In the beginning we were constantly looking for the source of the smell. One night about a week after he died my daughter and I were searching again for the source of the burning smell and she said "do you think that it might be dad trying to let us know he is here?". I was flabbergasted and a bit sceptical but then for a few hours it got worse. Finally, that night one of the smoke detectors in the house went off and would not shut off for several minutes. We searched and searched but could not find the source and then I was convinced. I spoke out in the night and told him "ok, ok, I believe it. . .I know you are here honey." Since then it continues to happen when you least expect it. I still go searching for the source of the burning smell and then I realize it is him and I have to laugh. We do not tell too many people about it because we don't want it to go away but it is unmistakeable. At this point I can even ask him to let me know he is here and within a short time, once I have forgotten I have asked, all of a sudden the smell is there. Even our two year old grandbaby has smelled it and announce that something was burning. We have had professionals check all of the wiring, we have replaced questionable outlets, cleamed dusty light bulbs, sniffed many appliances looking for the source and there is nothing. Even my very sceptical 82 year old dad has had to admit that it is here and there is no source. Bill quit smoking years before he was diagnosed and the smell is really not that of cigarrette smoke. It is more just a smokey scent. I love it and hope it does not stop. I feel him all around me and it is very comforting.

I am so sorry to hear of your mom's passing. I will say prayers and hope for your pain to come to peace.

I am so sorry about your dad. It has been only one month since I lost my husband and I know how raw and pain filled you feel. It sounds as if your father gave you so much. I know it does not seem possible but the gifts that he gave you while he was alive will be what sustains you now that he is gone. Remember that. . .he is gone from sight not from your heart or from your lives or from you memories. His life and his goodness will be a part of who you are and what you do forever. He is gone from sight only. Close your eyes. . .you can feel him with you. I am so, so sorry. I hate this disgusting disease. It really makes me angry. I wish you peace in the coming months. I know your heart hurts terribly right now. You are a devoted and loving daughter and I know he is very proud of you. PM me if you need to talk. Hollyridge

Berisa, I am so sorry your dad is going through this. I am sorry you have to endure it also. Please know I am praying that the suffering is over for both of you.

I am praying

My heart is so heavy thinking of all of the pain we are feeling knowing it will be a long time before we are reunited with our precious loved ones. Our son is getting married in 8 weeks and our middle daughter is expecting a baby in June. How do I make it through these events without him? This still does not seem real. I dread this coming thursday when I have to say that he has been gone one whole month. I still want to die. I still want cancer. I want to know everything he went through. I want to suffer and die the way he did. I cannot imagine how to live without him. I thought God would guide me but I am feeling nothing. I need him so badly. I want to smell his skin and have him kiss me again. I forgot what it feels like. He kissed me the day he died but I cannot remember how it felt. I am sure I will lose my mind if this does not stop.

What n amazing story. I believe in everything you said. My Bill has been gone only a little over three weeks but we (my kids and I) got signs from him after only a few days. It took us a couple of days to realize what we were experiencing but now it happens all of the time and like you I feel him with me all of the time. I literally can feel his breath and his hand on my right shoulder and the back of my neck. Missing him so much makes me physically ill sometimes but I do know he is with me.

I am praying and hoping for better results with the next chemo.

I am so, so very sorry for your loss. I will pray for you to feel the presence of your mom in your heart always. Close your eyes and get a vivid picture of her and then feel the warnth inside you. She is with you.

They sell weight gain powder at good health food stores. It is full of vitamins and packs a bunch of calories. You cannot drink the full amount recomended for a day but you can drink two or three glasses per day mixed to taste with milk. It tastes a lot better than ensure or boost. It is very expensive but my husband loved it and it sustained him well.

Thank God. No pain is the best pain! Still praying

I have not posted too much and I have not even been on here too much lately but I do want to wish you good luck with the job. You deserve to get exactly what you want.

I am praying that everything will be fine but I almost have to chuckle at how stubborn and determined he is. I know it is scary but it is also great to see such strong will.

I am praying for you. God bless.

I am praying for your mom and your family. PLease keep us posted.