TeeTaa

So very sorry to hear of this bad news. I'll be pulling for you as you begin the new treatments. Praying for us all, TeeTaa P.S. You spelled "pessimistic" correctly. You're not a bad speller . . . just a good one with a lack of confidence, is all.

I was just at the Lance Armstrong Foundation site, and found the following information related the Foundation's upcoming Ride for the Roses event. If you go the the home page (www.laf.org), you'll see a section entitled LAF Spotlight. The first item under that is Live Strong Tribute, which will take you to the page which reads as follows: "The 2004 Ride for the Roses Weekend will take place October 15-17, in Austin, Texas. Throughout Ride Weekend, the names and photos of cancer survivors and those who have lost their battle with cancer will be displayed one by one on a large screen. This tribute will serve as a symbol of hope and inspiration to our participants and honor those who have been directly affected by cancer. We invite you to participate by submitting names of cancer survivors you wish to honor. (If you submitted a name for the 2003 Ride for the Roses Weekend Tribute, please resubmit the name to ensure placement on this year’s tribute. Thank you.)" I've entered the names of my family members who had or have cancer, as well as some of those here whose last names I know. Just thought y'all might want to take the opportunity to remember your own loved ones in this manner. Praying for us all, TeeTaa

Good one, Frannie! And Nina, I had to laugh at your calling my sister "TeeTaa" instead of "Teacake," cause when our bunch is together, no one is ever called their right name! I grew up responding to, "Cathy Ginger Terry Fran Guy - I MEAN KATHA!!) I always thought I'd NEVER do that with my own kids, but now Livi - no, I mean Abby! - has to correct me all the time! TeeTaa

I'm with Betty. Blue hammer it is for me. Dang it. I hate to be normal . . . even if it's only half-way. TeeTaa

Tonight at 11:35, it'll be two months, or sixty-two days, since I sat there and watched Terry take his final breaths while I held his hand, rubbed his arm, and told him how much we loved him and to go ahead and follow that beautiful blue moon, cause we'd be okay. Well, we are okay, but there's one thing that's bothered me since then (okay, so there are actually more, but I'll only mention one here!). Several times during Terry's sickness, we shed a few tears together, but nothing really big and always with other people around. Three or four times, after I'd visited or spent time with him (such as at the beach), he'd e-mail me that he just knew that he and I had "a big cry" coming. The first time he wrote it, I was surprised, cause I'd thought the same thing, but certainly hadn't mentioned it (he was my BIG brother, after all!) Well, that "big cry" never did happen. Once he went to hospice, things happened so very quickly, and before we knew it, he wasn't really able to communicate very well with us. But while it may not have technically happened, I'VE certainly had OUR big cry many times since then. And I take comfort in knowing his spirit is crying right along with me. The two month mark also leads me to reflect on what has gotten me through the past several weeks. And I must say, a very large part of my getting through this is because of the folks on this board. Yes, I've got a terrific family and an overall great support network, but THIS place has truly been invaluable for my grieving process. Maybe it's because Terry found you all and was always such a "computer" person - it seems appropriate that this is the means by which I've derived comfort. For that - listening to me, crying with me, grieving with me, laughing with me, picking me up when I'm down, and just being there - I thank you all so very much. This has been and will continue to be my most tangible connection to Terry, so don't count on me going anywhere anytime soon! Now that I've had my "big cry" of the day, I'll log off and get busy. My older daughter's 7th birthday is today, and her Uncle TBone certainly wouldn't want me to be moping around. It's a day to celebrate, and we will, knowing he's with us every step of the way. Again, thank you, thank you, thank you. Y'all just don't know what you mean to me. Praying for us all, Katha

It is indeed lchelp.com, and it doesn't appear to matter whether you use caps or not (I just tried). Does anyone know how the Today show program went? I had to leave right as it was coming on here, and forgot to set the VCR! TeeTaa

I e-mailed Laura today, and got the following response: "Thank you for your e-mail. I am very pleased I came across LCSC site that one night. It's good to know there are other people out there who understand my situation. The many people around me show sympathy, but they truely don't understand. My grandfather, Tom, passed away on September tenth. He was not too far away from his seventy fifth birthday. I headed out with my family to Baltimore for his viewing and funeral service that weekend. It was nice to see how many people how came to the viewing. He was a talker, that's for sure. No wonder why he had so many friends. My grandmother is taking it the hardest. Coming home to a empty house is difficult for her. Sorting through all his belongings is hard for me. I am getting along okay, but it feels like half of me is missing. Thanks again for showing your support. I appreciate it. You may post an update if you'd like. I will try to be in contact on the boards soon. " May her grandfather rest in peace. TeeTaa

I didn't get to ask about her computer . . . we gabbed about all sorts of other things, then she realized that it was 5 minutes til 4, she was supposed to pick her daughter up at some practice at 4, and it took 10 minutes to get there. So in order to avoid DFCS getting involved, we terminated our call. TeeTaa

Gosh, Elaine. It's a good thing I haven't had that glass of wine yet! Thanks for the info. TeeTaa

I just talked to Angie, and here's the report from her Dad's CT scan result appointment yesterday: STABLE!!!! No real shrinkage, but no progression either, so overall it's good news. She's still hesitant to be too excited, because he's continuing to have bad back pain (and of course he went in and told the doctor it "wasn't so bad" - I think he just about got belted by his daughter!) She really wants him to have a bone scan to see if it's progressed in his spine (it's been there from the beginning of the diagnosis, but wasn't causing any pain back then). She'd like for him to possibly start some radiation to deal with the pain, but it looks as if he doesn't want to know if it's progressed. The doctor agreed to do a scan as soon as her father gives in. Please continue to keep Angie and her Dad in your thoughts and prayers. Praying for us all, TeeTaa

No. Thank YOU. Even though you did make me cry. TeeTaa

TBone's was adenocarcinoma, and it barely showed up on x-rays, even when he was diagnosed. But again, the doc at MDAnderson (who ran the dept) said it DID NOT show up on the abdomen/chest CT scan three years earlier. So maybe it was there but too small to be seen in ANY type of scan? TeeTaa

Yes! Red wine!! Interestingly, TBone had always suffered from headaches, and was prone to taking Goody powders fairly often (and for you uninitiated - Goody powders are basically just ground up aspirin and caffeine so it goes to your system more quickly. They're frequently associated with car racing and other redneck activities. And yes, it's gross to take, unless you've become a pro like TBone and me. Just gotta pour it way back in your throat and have a good chaser close by!) But I digress . . . Anyway, TBone suffered a perforated ulcer in February 2001, a little less than three years prior to diagnosis. The doctor then made it clear that in addition to stress, the primary cause was his frequent use of the Goody powders, cause they basically just "sat there" in his stomach and ate holes in it. (Nice visual, huh?) Plus the fact that taking medications like this so often causes a rebound headache effect, so you get into a vicious cycle. You might say the doctor read him the riot act about his use of the things, and subsequently he read it to me. To be honest, I'm not sure Terry ever actually stopped his use of the powders, although I'm sure he at least curtailed it a little. When we took him out to MD Anderson for the second opinion, the doctor had the CT scan taken in February 2001 (leading to the perforated ulcer diagnosis), and she said that the cancer DEFINITELY WAS NOT THERE AT THAT TIME. So . . . did his stopping/curtailing his aspirin use lead to enough thickening of his blood that the cancer cells "slowed down" their journey and took ahold? We'll never know, but it's an interesting theory, to say the least. Gotta go - a Goody powder and a glass of wine are awaiting me! Praying for us all, TeeTaa

Wow, Bruce. No wonder your step-daughter picked you to walk her down the aisle! But you've just gotta respond to this string of messages so everyone ELSE can see the photo without having to go looking for one of your posts just to find it, like I did! Praying for us all, TeeTaa

Amy, Just reading your post makes me tired. I won't even try to offer any advice, but I will offer my good wishes. Hang in there. You're being a great daughter, Mom, wife, and step-mom . . . a caregiver to many. Please find some strength in knowing you've got many friends here, holding you and your family close in our thoughts and prayers. Praying for us all, TeeTaa

Our lips are sealed! We sure can't have him thinking something like that! Thanks for pointing out the need to be sure the info we read is accurate - or at least recent. But I have to wonder . . . obviously, the internet didn't exist back in 1966. It was LONG after that when the information superhighway came around. So WHY would someone put an old article like that on here anyway?! Praying for us all, TeeTaa

Oh Fay - I just don't know what to say. But I'm glad I saved some of that tar and feathers, cause I think I need to send it your way for use on your neighbors. Do these people have absolutely no heart? (Stupid question - obviously that's the case.) And your poor little puppy . . . I've been meaning to send a message asking about him, but always failed to remember when I was on-line. Unfortunately, I guess you'll just have to be his seeing-eye "person"! But most importantly, I'm concerned about the health challenges you're facing. You know there are so many of us praying that it's not mets . . . I just wish there was more we could do. And I want to thank you for continuing to help me out in trying to help James and his Mom, even during all these trials you're facing. What a testament to your character! Praying for us all, TeeTaa

From one corner of the country (almost!) to the opposite corner of the country (almost!) - WELCOME!! Glad to know we've got another friend here, cause you never have too many of those! Praying for us all, TeeTaa

I don't know a darn thing about Temodar. I just want to tell you how beautiful your baby is and how glad I am that you're sharing that wonderful photo. Praying for us all, TeeTaa

Just thought I'd insert something here that Dr. Joe (oncodoc) put on another thread: "Just an aside, I saw some speculation earlier about hyperthryoidism being connected with lung cancer. I am not familiar with this being reported before but I just saw a new patient yesterday who interestingly enough had radioactive iodine for her thyroid 5 years ago and now has lung cancer. Very interesting, would have never even paid attention to that if you guys hadn't brought it up....." I was already glad Dr. Joe had joined us, and it's especially good to see that he might be learning something from us as well. Or at least we might be broadening his perspective a bit. Sure hope so, cause he's certainly been a big help here so far! TeeTaa

I got this from a Florida friend, who got it from another friend, who got it from another friend, etc. But I believe it was originally in the Orlando Sentinel. It's great to know our friends in the Sunshine State are maintaining their senses of humor! 30 THINGS CHARLEY AND FRANCES (AND I GUESS JEANNE TOO!) TAUGHT US: 1. An oak tree on the ground looks four times bigger than it did standing up. 2. Even after all these years it is still nice to spend time with Colonel Mustard in the ballroom with the lead pipe. 3. When house hunting, look for closets with lots of leg room. 4. Water from the shower is much colder than water from the kitchen sink. 5. AAA, AA, C and D are the only alphabet we need. 6. The four-way stop is still an ingenious reflection of civility. 7. Radio can be a good way to watch television. 8. Chainsaw-wielding men are nothing to be afraid of. 9. SUV's are the best makeshift tents on the market. 10. You can use your washing machine as a cooler. 11. It's your God-given right to sit on your back porch and eat Chinese takeout by candlelight in your underwear. 12. We shouldn't complain about "useless" tools in the garage-- we actually DO need a generator. 13. You can't spell "priceless" without I-C-E. 14. Downed power lines make an excellent security system. 15. Any peanut butter will do. 16. Gasoline is a value at any price. 17. Cell phones: Breaking up isn't hard to do. 18. The life blood of any disaster recovery is COFFEE. 19. The need for your dog to go out and take care of business is inversely proportional to the severity of the storm. 20. Candlelight is better than botox--- it takes years off your appearance. 21. Air Conditioning: BEST INVENTION EVER. 22. Water is a comfort food. But 3-day-old Cheetos are too. 23. Shadow animals on the wall---still fun. 24. No matter how hard the wind blows, roadside campaign signs will survive. 25. You should never admit to having power at your house in the presence of co-workers or neighbors who do not. 26. There's a plus to having NOTHING in the refrigerator. 27. Getting through the day should be an Olympic event. 28. The movie theater can be a most pleasant place, even if the feature is Alien vs. Predator. 29. Somebody's got it worse. 30. Somebody's got it better. Obviously, they are getting preferential treatment.

I know where you're coming from about those nightmares. For a while there after TBone died, I dreamed every night that I was still sitting there with him that last night, holding his hand and telling him how much we loved him and that everything was going to be okay, that we knew he hadn't given up, etc. - ANYTHING to ease his mind, cause I knew he could hear me. I still have that dream every now and then, 60 days later, and there are even some DAYS when the "dream" replays itself over and over in my head. Suffice it to say those aren't fun days. Back when it was happening every night, and I found myself dreading bedtime, I began to rely on Tylenol PM to help me sleep. Still have to use it sometimes, when the thoughts pile up at the end of the day. Here's hoping those night demons stop visiting you. Praying for us all, TeeTaa

Melanie - I have no idea about your pain, but wish you well and hope that chest tube comes out smoothly. As far as your career - I went to a hairstylist here in Atlanta one time who specialized in using only coloring products that were all natural (i.e. no chemicals - I think the one she used on me was mostly carrot juice or something, but I'm not/didn't turn out to be a redhead!) Anyway, maybe this is something you could look into. And if it's something that interests you, you have some time these days to study up on it and then when you're able you can position yourself as an expert in the field, as this lady was known. Good luck! TeeTaa

As long as that second head was immune to having brain mets, I wouldn't have that much of a problem with it! Beth - I agree with you. It's just not fair, darnit. I'm counting on you - and my many other friends here - be start bucking the trend. Praying for us all, TeeTaa

My brother was in a very similar situation as your mother when he was diagnosed (lung, kidney, adrenal gland, three brain tumors). We took him out to MD Anderson for a 2nd opinion and the doctor there (who teaches oncology) told us that of all the people diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer, 50% will live between 8 and 12 months from the time of diagnosis, and the other 50% will fall on either side of that time frame. Being the math geeks and pollyannas that we needed to be at that time, we focused on the fact that the "bell curve" never really had an ending on the right-hand side (meaning the "live a longer time" side), so he might just be one of those who "lives forever" with the disease. That being said, I want to caution you, as others have, that those are just statistics. But I know where you are right now . . . as hard as it was to hear what the doctor said, I/we needed to hear it. Another thing she said was that because of TBone's "condition at diagnosis," she would expect him to be one of the ones who lived in the longer end of that 8-12 months or even be in the 50% group that lived longer. She went on to explain that the "condition at diagnosis" meant just that - and my brother did not look or act sick at all. He had in fact gained weight cause the Decadron was making him eat like a horse, and the brain met symptoms (which led to the diagnosis in the first place) had disappeared. She indicated that some people are not diagnosed until they can't even walk into her office, and THOSE are the people she would expect to live the shorter time frame. But alas, my brother's decline was quite swift, and he only made it a few days past seven months. So - statistics being what they are - since he fell on the "short" side, someone needs to offset that by being on the "long" side, and there's no reason that can't be your Mom! Praying for us all, TeeTaa