Angie Daughter of Bill

Karen So glad you are going to get some relief!! This is one of those times when I am glad I was right, but hate that I was right. "cause you have to have a root canal and all. But hey, it beats being sick all the time and it SURE beats an ENT opening up your sinuses and prodding around!! I hope you are feeling better soon!!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Nina, Don't you dare hate to ask for our prayers, hon. I am sending you many prayers. Praying that your pain can be resolved and that it is nothing to worry about. In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Bruce To answer your question.........YES. I shamefully admit that I did do all of those things in order for my Dad to get tested. I would do it again in a heart beat. I'll do ANYHTING to be sure that my Dad gets what he needs and what he wants. (even if it includes COOKING!!) I sure hope you don't lose your insurance. I don't know much about the whole deal, but it sure smells stinky to me!! I also hope that you get those tests that you need. In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Dearest Margaret< I pray that God will grant you peace and serenity in the days to come. Give Jim a "BIG SQUEEZE" from my family in Alabama. In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Hey Bruce! O.K........we had a bit of a similar situation. Dad was not losing his coverage, but at the end of last year Dad had met his maximum out of pocket expense for the year. (Insurance was paying 100% on EVERYTHING at that point) Dad was having a few symptoms. I went to the dr. with Dad. After Dr. S. talked with Dad, I said, "You know Dr. S., right now Dad's insurance is paying 100% on everything. If you were thinking of doing some scans right after the first of the year, it would really help us if we could get those done before the end of December." I then batted my eyelashes and said, "Oh, by the way, I made you some teacakes for Christmas." Dr. S. just smiled, shook his head and asked my Dad if I was always so subtle. Of course my Dad had to let Dr. S. know that I have always been pretty straight forward and was never afraid to ask for anything. We left the office that day with orders for a CT of the brain, chest and abdomen, an MRI of the spine and enough medicine to last my Dad until March. Now, I couldn't tell you if it was my honesty, the eyelash batting or the teacakes that got us what we wanted, but we did get it. Just in case, you better have your wife whip up some teacakes or cookies. Also, she might want to wear a little extra mascara so that her eyelashes look marvelous when she is doing all of that "batting". Gee Bruce, aren't you glad I'm back to give you some good sound advice????? I do hope and pray that your new symptoms are NOTHING.........just "one of those things that happen as we age gracefully". I'll be thinking of you! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

I wanted to share this photo with all of you. This is a picture that my oldest daughter took of my Dad and my youngest daughter. My Dad has never liked having his picture took, but since we got a digital camera for Christmas, well...........no one in the house is safe from my kids and the camera. I thought this was a cute photo. Both of them are in their "jammies". Check out the "bunny ears" my Dad has over his head!! My little one is such a little stinker. My Dad is JUST like his smile..........warm, gentle, caring, sweet..........I love him with all of my heart. I wanted all of you to "meet" him. Angie

Hello all!! I FINALLY got my computer going yesterday! (It's about time, huh?) I have missed you all sooooo much. I have thought of you all daily. As for what has been going on.......Dad is doing well. He is tired......really tired. He had his second treatment with Alimta last Friday. He is handling that pretty well. We saw Dad's radiation oncologist today for a follow up on his brain mets. Dr. S. said that with Dad's clinical symptoms(which are very few), he would like to wait a couple of months to do a new MRI of the brain. He said that we would get a better reading of how well the WBR did. As Pamela told you all, I lost my uncle to small cell lung cancer yesterday. He was scheduled to get his last WBR treatment yesterday. His daughter went to pick him up and found him. His pulmonary artery ruptured. The coroner said that there was absolutely no suffering involved. For that I am thankful. It is still soooo sad though. I thought I was prepared to go to the funeral home last night. I was anything but prepared. And my poor Dad...........eventhough my uncle was an ex-brother in law, they had remained VERY close throughout the years. My Dad had a really rough time. I think the realization that something like that could happen to him was overwhelming. Dad talked about it quite a bit. (which surprised me) Dad is very scared. Until this point, Dad has not shown me his fears eventhough I know that the fear was there before the passing of my uncle. Let's see.........well, I've had two sick girls that each missed two days of school this week. A hubby who is on the verge of being down in his back. And then there's me.............oooohhhhh.......that list is too long! All in all, things are good. God is good and I'm very thankful for many things. One being that I have convinced my Dad to take a short trip with me, my hubby and our girls. We are going to Gatlinburg, TN this weekend. I can't remember the last time my Dad has gone on a vacation. I guess it's been 20 years. He wasn't going to go..........but I told him that we would be cancelling the trip. I told him that I was NOT going to leave him alone for the weekend. He immediately decided that he just "couldn't do that to the grandchildren". (I knew those little boogers would come in handy one day!!! ) So tomorrow I will be leaving and will return on Sunday afternoon. When I get back from the trip, I will be back on the ship here............full steam ahead. Lord only knows that I could use you guys and your wise words right now. Love to all!!!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Hello all!! I have missed all of you soooo much!! My internet has been down. (and still is) I am at my Mom's right now. My Dad made it through WBR and he started Alimta on Dec. 31st. He has been fighting bronchitis/pneumonia for the past week or so. He has had a pretty rough time of it here lately. He is sooooo tired and he can hardly sleep because he coughs so much. He is getting a bit better. If he could just get over this cough..........He has some Rx cough medicine to take. The doctor told him to take 3-4tsp. instead of the usual 1-2tsp. It does help some but not a lot. My uncle who was diagnosed with small cell is doing a bit better. He just finished WBR and is still doing chemo. He is really tired. He still has problems with walking and balance. He is using a walker to get around now. The doctors say that the balance problems will probably not get any better than it is right now. I pray that they are wrong. Just a few things.............Cheryl, I am so sorry to hear about your brain mets! My heart just sank when I heard about it. I'm so sorry. You are such a fighter. I know you will get through this bump in the road. David C., I hope that what is showing up on your scan is NOT brain mets. I will be praying for you. To Snowflake and stand4hope, thank you so much for calling to check on me. That really meant a lot to me. Connie B., sorry I missed your call. Please try again. I would love to talk with you. Until I get my internet going, if anyone would like to contact me, please use my e-mail address. It is chismfamily@earthlink.net. Please put LCSC somewhere in the subject line so I will know it is one of you guys. I have been praying for all of you and will continue to do so. Love to all!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Hello Laura My Dad was also prescribed Megace to increase his appetite. The initial dose was one teaspoon twice a day. The doctor told us that if that dose was ineffective that we could increase it to as much as four teaspoons twice a day. My Dad is a very small framed man. He is about 5'7" and 130 pounds. Hope this helps you a bit. In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Just came from taking Dad to radiation and visiting with my uncle. (my uncle was waiting to see the doctor that my Dad sees at the same time that I took Dad for treatment) They are making the mask for WBR right now as I type. They are going to also do his first WBR tx. today. After that, they are sending him upstairs to the oncologists office for chemo tx. Not sure what kind yet. My uncle didn't know. He did say that the doctor thought it would be rough on him doing the chemo and WBR at the same time, but it seems it's the only option. The doctor said they have to get some chemo in him NOW! After his radiation and chemo today, my uncle will go back to the hospital. When we asked the doctor when he might get to come home, he said that we weren't going to talk about that right now. The doctor wants the double vision and dizziness completely gone before they will release him. Right now they are not allowing my uncle to get out of bed for fear of falling and hurting himself. All of the nurses looked at me like I was crazy when I was there talking to my uncle in the radiation oncologist's office. They all looked puzzled. At first they thought my Dad had taken a turn for the worse. When I explained the situation, they all just shook their heads in disbelief. On a good note, they all promised me that they would take really good care of my uncle. They said that they knew I would be in there to "straighten them up" if they didn't. (they have got to know me pretty well, huh??) So right now it's just one foot in front of the other. At times I'm stumbling and tripping a little, but all in all I'm doing o.k. When my uncle gets out of the hospital I will most likely be taking him for radiation treatments right along with my Dad. Ohhhhhh somebody help me..........two men on STEROIDS!! (no harm meant to those on steroids...........just trying to keep my sense of humor through all of this mess) I feel better now that we have a plan. Love to all!!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

DUH!!!!! I forgot that you couldn't do WBR with chemo. I should KNOW that. Dad was going to start chemo but couldn't because of WBR. I'm just a little excitable as you all can imagine. I'm a "fixer". I want to "fix" everything. I guess everything is not in MY hands. Thanks for reminding me of the chemo/WBR deal. I don't know where my mind was. All I could think was..........small cell........he needs chemo fast. Love to all! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

As I told you all, my Mom's brother is in the hospital. The doctor's believed it was LC with mets to the brain. Yesterday the doctor did a needle biopsy of a swollen lymph node. It came back this morning as Small Cell Lung Cancer. Obsiously he would be extensive stage. The doctor said that if no treatment was given, he wouldn't last six weeks. If treatment is given, then who knows........the biggest problem is that the brain met is soooo large. The doctor's first said it was the sixe of a plum. Now they are saying that it is a bit bigger than a plum. How could he have such a large brain met and not have symptoms????? My Dad's largest brain met is 8mm and I was seeing symptoms in him. Hmmmmmmmmm................ Right now the plan is to start radiation to his brain. They are going to try to shrink the brain met and give my uncle some "quality of life". According to his daughter, the doctor's haven't mentioned chemo yet. If they don't mention chemo in the next couple of days, I'm going to have to march my fanny to the doctor's office and see what is going on there. (IF and ONLY IF my uncle wants to do chemo and live as long as he can) On a happier note, Dad is doing really well with the WBR. The steroids have him pumped up. I know that steroids can be bad, but when someone goes from being in the bed almost 24/7 to getting out and enjoying the things that they love..........well, it's worth it to me. If I don't check in here for a few days (yeah, right!) it's because I'm really busy with my Dad and his WBR, visiting my Uncle in the hospital and attending various Christmas parties. I wish you all love!!! Angie

Beth My goodness! You are having a terrible time! I have been praying that Tarceva would work for you with little to no side effects. Maybe after your body gets used to it, you won't be so sensitive to it. Thinking of you~~~ Angie

God is hearing all of your thoughts and prayers concerning ALL that is going on with my family. I just logged on to check my e-mail. I found this..........it is from a Christian website called Mountain Wings. ************************************************************* You Must Keep Going ==================== Sometimes you must keep going. Life punches you in the stomach. It knocks your breath out and leaves you bowed and gasping. You lose a job. . . you must keep going. You find out you have a serious illness. . .you must keep going. You have a headache. . . you must keep going. Sometimes the things in life are not serious but they affect you nevertheless. . . you must keep going. You have a big argument with your spouse. Neither of you feels like talking and maybe not even looking at each other. . . you must keep going. Your son rebels and you have a blowout with him. . . you must keep going. The bills seem to never end and the money seems to never start. You must keep going. There are times that make us just want to curl up, stick our heads in a hole, and make the world go away. We can't, because we must keep going. Life is full of those circumstances. Many of you when you woke up this morning, for a variety of reasons, didn't feel like getting out of bed, but you had to. You must keep going. In times like those, and we all have them, remember the blessing. The blessing is not in that we must keep going. The blessing is that we can. ************************************************************* Now, how appropriate is THAT??? God is hearing our prayers. I truly believe that I received that in my mailbox for a resaon this morning.Love to all!!! Angie

As I was sitting here at my computer reading all of your wonderful heartfelt responses to my post in the caregiver's section of the board, I got a call on my cell phone. It was my Mom. Her older brother, age 58, is right now in the hospital in the nuero-intensive care unit. They have found a HUGE mass in his lung.........covers most all of his lung as well as a plum size mass in his brain. He is very critical and the doctors say that they aren't sure if he will make it out of the hospital. Oh my! I just don't know what to say except............Heaven help us!! I am speechless............It seems that lung cancer has struck another member of my close family. WHY???????!!!!!!!!! Angie

Thank you!!(she says through many tears) I think that many of you are right. In fact, all of you are right. Dad is on steroids. His mind is running 90 mph, but so is his energy level. I think he wants to get this done while he is physically feeling good. He also wants to do this so that me and my hubby won't have to decide if we want a bronze this or a maple that..........He wants to make his passing as easy on me as he possibly can. He KNOWS it is going to rock my world in a huge way. Also, I appreciate those of you who gave me compliments on doing so well. I feel very unworthy of the nice things that were said. It just seems that I could and should be doing more for Dad. What? I have no idea. Right now I'm taking him for radiation five days a week. I take care of all of his "stuff". (laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc.) But I still feel like there's more I could do. I will get through this..........with all of your help and the help of the Good Lord above.............I will make it. I will come out of this war bruised and battered, but I will make it. I thank you all soooooo much. You guys are my lifeline. Love you all!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Thank you Karen! I have really been missing some of my lost loved ones this year. This puts things into perspective, huh? It brings to mind the song "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. "Will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall, will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all, I can only imagine". Thanks again. Angie P.S. I hope that you and your dear mother are finding some peace and comfort over the loss of you sweet Dad.

Hello gang! I must once again shamefully call on all of you to help me out. I am having a REALLY rough time right now. Since my Dad found out about his brain mets, he has bought his burial plot and has had me visiting funeral homes. He wants us to have all of his arrangements finalized and paid before he passes. I have told Dad of the many wonderful stories here of hope. I have told him of those who were diagnosed with brain mets, had WBR and are doing great right now. He doesn't listen. He is certain he will be gone by the end of January. I don't know where he got that...........his doctor did not say that. He doesn't have once ounce of hope!! When he started WBR I was FULL to the gills of hope...........now, well he has me thinking that he won't be here come February. Now, I must say that every time I feel sad, I feel guilty. Guilty for what? The sadness I feel is only a thimble full of the sadness that my Dad must feel right now. I can't imagine the pressure he feels. I know he is wanting to do this for ME. He is looking at it like it's one less thing I won't have to do. I am trying to be sensitive to his feelings. I have ALWAYS put his feelings before my own. If he's angry and yells at me, I brush it off and chalk it up to the steroids. If he is upset and crying, I stand tall and listen. I cry later. I don't know how some of you do it. This is soooo hard. Dad is the first man that I ever loved after all!! Trying to plan a funeral and Christmas at the same time.........well, I'm just not handling it well at all. Would it seem selfish and immature of me to ask if we could wait until after Christmas to do his final arragements?? Of course it would..........I just read what I wrote. I sounded selfish and immature. I wanted this to be the BEST Christmas that my Dad has ever had in his life. I just can't seem to muster up the strength to get through this. I guess there's not really a point to all of this rambling.........I just had to "speak" it. Now that I have put it into words, maybe I can go on and do what has to be done. I AM a big girl now. (although all I want to do is curl up in Dad's lap and watch Scooby Doo............just like in the good ole' days) Love to all!!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ A very sad Angie P.S. I hope I am not sounding like I am not taking into consideration my Dad's feelings. The opposite is true. If it makes him feel better to do this now, then that's what we'll do. I'll do it with bells on............and cry later. I just had to type this out and have a little.........o.k.........a BIG cry.

Dearest Cheryl I have no knowledge of the new protocol that you will be starting. I did want to say that I am thankful to the Good Lord above that you have what it takes to participate. I have been praying for you. If you're excited, I'm excited!!!!!!!!!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Oh Nell! So sorry to hear that Bob is having such a rough time. Hopefully his doctor will see him promptly and get to the bottom of things. As for you, I'll call you what my hubby ALWAYS calls me........GRACE!! Poor thing! I hope you make a speedy recovery. If it makes you feel any better...........I am one of those "truly graceful" people. I seem to hit my elbow on every door frame in the house. My little toe always seems to find the foot of the bed in the dark. *sigh* Guess that's why my hubby calls me Grace! Get well soon and let us know what you find out about Bob, o.k.?? In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Hi Bo! Like others, my Dad got a dose of steroids before his chemo tx. The nurses said it was to ward off any bad reactions. My Dad also got very thick tongued during his chemo. Are you by any chance getting an IV dose of Benadryl before your chemo? Dad got IV Benadryl to avoid an allergic reaction. That is what the nurses said made him loopy and thick tongued. My Dad has been on 16mg of Decadron for brain mets. All I can say is that it has been a God send for us. Dad went from being dizzy, sleeping almost 24/7 to now being able to get out and about a little. Now, he is unable to sleep at night due to the steroids. We got a Rx for a sleeping pill yesterday. We will see how it worked for him. He had also lost about 20 pounds in seven weeks. With the steroids, he is once again eating. (like CRAZY!! which is a good thing) I think that steroids DO have a place in this journey. The main thing that we were warned about is that if you take high doses for too long, you are at risk for your muscles wasting away. I don't think that the amount of steroids you get before a chemo treatment are enough to do a lot of harm. (such as muscle wasting, etc.) (although I'm not a doctor..........just going on what our doctor told us) In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Blues?? Yep, I've got 'em! We have received so much bad news concerning my Dad in the past few weeks, it's very hard to have Christmas spirit. As Ry said, I have two daughters depending on me to make Christmas magical just like I do every other year. My Dad feels that this will be his last Christmas, so I also feel tremendous pressure to make this a magical Christmas for him, too. I have done very little shopping, but I do have plans to go this Friday with my best friend. She is going to "push" me and help me get my shopping done. (If it wasn't for her "pushing" me and you guys here giving me a lift, I really don't know how I would have made it this far) Maybe after I get my shopping done I will get in the Christmas spirit. (probably not...............the check book will be empty ) I have been trying to remember the true reason that I celebrate Christmas..........the birth of Jesus. That always brings a smile to my face. I wish you all a very merry Christmas!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Peggy, Sorry I am late responding to you. I read your request shortly after it was posted but I haven't had much time to reply to folks. I HAVE been praying for you since I read it though. I hope all goes well for you guys. It won't be long and I will be asking for prayers for the same thing. Dad has six more WBR treatments to go through, then I'm sure he will get an MRI. Waiting for scan results is the absolute worst!! I do like Cindi oh's idea.............count sheep, count your blessings.........don't count the white dots!!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Teri I'm so sorry!!! I had to have our Yorkie put to sleep about five years ago. She was also 15 years old and also had cancer. I still miss that little stinker. It's hard to make that decision, huh? I hope your luck turns around soon. I know how it feels to be getting only bad news these days. In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie

Sharon I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear father. I am glad that you have some peace and comfort right now thanks to your Dad. May the peace continue. From another Daddy's girl Angie