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Elaine

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Posts posted by Elaine

    Sometimes they come back...

    in NSCLC GROUP

    Posted

    Debi,

    My dear friend, I hate that you have to have those thoughts. I don't know what to say except I wish a great big BOO! would make them go away or maybe I could shine a flashlight under your bed and prove all that's there is dust bunnies (Well that's what's under my bed)!

    I just KNOW you have beaten it, I just feel it all the way from Okie to Kansas (well that's not all that far, but heck...)

    Lots of hugs to your daughter and son, who matter most of all.

    I am really proud of Frank, too. I can just see his fingers flying!

    By the way, if Angie can't come up with enough tar and feathers, I might be needing a shipload of those chickens, so hope you find that website.

    love and fortitude

    elaine

    Need your prayers......please~~~

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Angie,

    I have been having a couple rough days myself, and I apologize for not posting sooner, but I did do my prayers and you and Billy are always on my list.

    I think I need some of that tar and feathers--a whole truck load. But that is another story.

    love and fortitude

    elaine

    Phone call with Cat

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Thanks Jane,

    I just opened an email from Cat, and I am sure you have done a better job explaining the treatments than I could.

    She did say also that they are makng her mask tomorrow.

    elaine

    BLT - Bonnie L. Thompson died on 6 October.

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Rick,

    Thanks for letting us know. Could you pls send messages to the family?

    Bonnie was so special to me and I have lost both a dear friend and a mother figure. I know my loss does not compare to that felt by her husband, son, daughter and grandchildren.

    Bonnie is a brave and giving person. I hope her family finds comfort in their memories of this dear and special woman.

    elaine

    The Boy Who Cried Wolf Gets Stuck

    in JUST FOR FUN

    Posted

    Terre Haute, Indiana – No one believed Timmy Tucker when he got his genitals stuck in the family’s vacuum cleaner attachment last Monday. Neighbors describe the twelve-year-old as a chronic liar with a penchant for pulling pranks.

    Doctors worked round the clock viciously yanking on the hose before the boy was freed late last night. Surgeon Ron Warren says there may be permanent damage. “He’ll never play the violin again. Not with his pecker anyway.”

    Timmy was apparently stuck in the hose for days before parents Mark and Carol Tucker called for an ambulance. According to police reports, the parents didn’t believe the boy was telling the truth and had forbidden him from calling 911 due to earlier pranks. Mr. and Mrs. Tucker have declined to comment.

    “He used to tell me he was hurt or in trouble all the time when he was really okay,” said Nat Hoffner, Timmy’s next-door neighbor. “Once he came around here and said he was attacked by some bullies. It wasn’t until after I called the police that he admitted he beat himself up. I never understood that boy.”

    In desperation, Timmy called friend Steve Handleman and asked for assistance, but Steve didn’t believe him either. “Tricking me into yanking on that hose is just the sort of thing he’d try to do. ”

    Has the boy who cried wolf too many times learned his lesson? “Oh gosh, yes” said Timmy between hits of oxygen. “I’ll never lie again.” He also insisted on describing how he got stuck, despite doctor’s warnings for rest.

    According to Timmy, he took the vacuum cleaner outside with a very long extension cord because he wanted to vacuum some dirt. He was about to come back in the house when some bullies attacked him and stuck the vacuum hose on his genitals and then left several xxxographic magazines at his feet after they finished reading them. Police are combing the area for possible suspects.

    One Too Many

    in JUST FOR FUN

    Posted

    There's this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and gulps it down.

    The poor man starts crying.

    The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."

    "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen.

    The police, they say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there.

    The cab driver just drives away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar.

    And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison!!!"

    "professional test"

    in JUST FOR FUN

    Posted

    The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "professional". The questions are not that difficult.

    1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

    2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

    3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

    4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?

    Will post answers tomorrow.

    Find Out Why YOU Cross the Road (ZodiEgg)

    in JUST FOR FUN

    Posted

    Astrological Signs of the ZodiEgg

    (Chicken Horoscopes)

    AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18):

    Chickens born under the sign of Aquarius are strong independent spirits longing to break free from traditional conventions and restrictions and the status quo. They are innovative and idealistic always replacing old outdated thinking with fresh perspectives. They are strongly driven to oppose social injustice and oppression. They are always experimenting to discover their own identity. They will cross because it is forbidden to do so and by doing so it will be easier for others to do so in the future.

    PISCES (February 19 to March 20):

    Pisces chickens are dreamy and sensitive. They are blessed with deep intuition and a wealth of emotion. Pisces are romantic, creative and full of love with a potential for great happiness and lasting joy. Their imagination is so strong that it frequently merges with fantasy. They usually cross because they had a vision telling them that this is the means to the happiness they are striving to achieve.

    ARIES (March 21 to April 19):

    Chickens born under the sign of Aries are natural leaders possessing a pioneering determined spirit, who wish to make their mark on the world. They cross the road to assert themselves and seek action, daring and adventure.

    TAURUS (April 20 to May 20):

    Taurus chickens are strong willed and have a down to earth attitude toward life. They are overly interested in material things and have a real need for security. They feel unsettled unless comfortable. They will cross only if there is more security on the other side or to obtain material possessions.

    GEMINI (May 21 to June 20):

    They are highly restless and are always seeking a wide variety of contrasting experiences. They cross because they are curious and to avoid the boredom of their mundane existence.

    CANCER (June 21 to July 22):

    While having a tough shell-like exterior, Cancer chickens are very sensitive and vulnerable. They have very delicate emotions, and are always attuned to their environment and the feelings of those around them. They have a constant and urgent need to feel safe and always act defensively. They will only cross the road when there is danger to themselves or others on this side.

    LEO (July 20 to August 22):

    Leo chickens are majestic and proud with personalities that need to shine, and greet opportunities with fervor and vitality. They always need to be in charge. They will cross the road with great enthusiasm for the opportunity to escape a normal, humdrum existence.

    VIRGO (August 23 to September 22):

    Virgos are practical and adaptable. They have a strong desire to succeed, are very discriminating and tend to be critical of others. They strive for perfection. They are very poultriatarian and will usually cross for the good of other chickens and because it is the proper or correct thing to do.

    LIBRA (September 23 to October 22):

    Libra chickens are thoughtful and sensitive, and are always seeking balance and harmony. They need the respect and love of other chickens more than any other group. They think carefully before making any decision. Libra chickens are prone to stop in the middle of the road to try to decide which way to go, making the crossing a considerable risk to themselves and others.

    SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21):

    Scorpios have a depth and intensity of their emotions that gives them a strong inner power. They are creatures of passion whose focused desires assist them in achieving their aims. They can be ruthlessly self-critical in their quest for truth. They are uncompromising, and stick to any commitment they have made. They cross because they promised to do so.

    SAGITTARIUS (November 23 to December 21):

    These chickens are restless and visionary. They love to explore new horizons and see life as a journey full of adventure. They greet every new experience with a warm heart, a ready smile and an open mind. They cross the road because of a passion to see more of the world and a spirit which longs to be free.

    CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19):

    Capricorns are very ambitious and are always striving to reach the top of the coop. They are tenacious in planning every step to achieve their goals, and leave themselves little time to relax before looking for new peaks to climb. They cross because they must to achieve the success they feel should be theirs.

    Dave is in a real funk

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    David

    I have a feeling I am right there with you in "funky town"-- I hear all roads lead out of town. I am looking to get on one, but right now I seem to be on an off the beaten path kind of place, but I will let you know when the next bus leaves! You do the same for me, OK?

    love and fortitude

    elaine

    Just in Time for the Election

    in JUST FOR FUN

    Posted

    This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells,

    "Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Democrat

    on my front porch and he's playing with himself."

    "What?" the operator exclaimed. "I said there is a damn Democrat on my

    front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and

    I'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated.

    "Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?"

    "Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be screwing

    somebody!"

    How Many Calories Did you Burn, Lately?

    in JUST FOR FUN

    Posted

    It seemed appropriate that I received this joke today.

    Weight Control

    Here's the guide to calorie-burning activities and the number of calories per hour they consume.

    Beating around the bush. . . . . . . . .75

    Jumping to conclusions . . . . . . . . 100

    Climbing the walls . . . . . . . . . . 150

    Swallowing your pride. . . . . . . . . .50

    Passing the buck . . . . . . . . . . . .25

    Throwing your weight around

    (depending on your weight). . . .50-300

    Dragging your heels. . . . . . . . . . 100

    Pushing your luck. . . . . . . . . . . 250

    Making mountains out of molehills. . . 500

    Hitting the nail on the head . . . . . .50

    Wading through paperwork . . . . . . . 300

    Bending over backwards . . . . . . . . 75

    Jumping on the bandwagon . . . . . . . 200

    Balancing the books. . . . . . . . . . .25

    Running around in circles. . . . . . . 350

    Eating crow. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225

    Tooting your own horn. . . . . . . . . .25

    Climbing the ladder of success . . . . 750

    Pulling out the stops. . . . . . . . . .75

    Adding fuel to the fire. . . . . . . . 160

    Wrapping it up at the day's end. . . . .12

    To which you may want to add your own favorite activities, including:

    Opening a can of worms . . . . . . . . .50

    Putting your foot in your mouth. . . . 300

    Starting the ball rolling. . . . . . . .90

    Going over the edge. . . . . . . . . . .25

    Picking up the pieces after. . . . . . 350

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