stand4hope

Woohoo! Beautiful family, TBone. How about telling us their names - left to right. Peggy

Donna, I am so, so sorry. Love, Peggy

Ginny, This is wonderful news, all except Earl's fatigue. I do pray that he will regain some energy very soon. Stereotactic radiosurgery will be good. Has he had that before? It really has a very high success rate. My husband was very fortunate that St. Vincent Hospital in Indianapolis had just purchased one of the new state-of-the-art Novalis machines and it was up and running when he got his treatment. He was treated the 2nd week it was operational. I think there are only about 8-10 of these machines in the U.S., although that number could have increased since November. It was BIG news in Indy. It made the paper, the news and they advertised like crazy - but no more because they have people coming from all over the U.S. for treatment - and they only have one machine. It took all day and into the evening to get it done, but he had 8 mets, and they had some machine setup problems. We were exhausted by the time we got home - mostly from the waiting. Keep us posted, Ginny. Love, Peggy P.S. Thank you for your PM. I'm sorry I haven't responded yet, but I'm just starting to try to catch up tonight. I'm really doing fine - just tired from all the emotion and activity.

Oh my, I can't improve on Jane's post to you, so I won't even try. God loves you, Dean - and so do we! Love, Peggy

YAHOO Now that your body's clean, clean, clean, let's see what we can do about those jokes! JUST KIDDING -----JUST KIDDING-----JUST KIDDING!!!!!!! You know I love you, Peggy

Hi Shelly, I'm so glad to see your post. This is the first post I've done since my dad died last week. I haven't felt much like talking or writing, but when I saw this thread and that you had started it, I was thrilled beyond your imagination. I've been so worried about you. This is such a sad time for you, and I certainly understand. Shelly, I don't recall that I've ever seen a post about your parents' age or your age, but I'm guessing that you're pretty young and that maybe your parents were pretty young also. It seems to me that younger people, and I'll say 35 and under, just have a more difficult time dealing with the loss of their parents. I don't know why that is because I'm not a psychiatrist, but I would make a wild guess that it would be because the young person dealing with the death hasn't even thought about their own mortality yet, let alone anyone else's. As our parents age and show signs of aging, is about the time we start thinking of our own mortality. Somewhere along the way, we suddenly begin to realize that they aren't as well as they used to be, and that they are getting wrinkled and looking older, and that they aren't going to live forever. When that happens, their death still isn't easy, but it's not the shock like you have experienced, especially losing both of them so close together, and to the same @* disease. And then on top of it, to have this extra worry about your wonderful sister. Taking all of these things together - your age, their age, the cause, the shock and multiply it times two, and add the stress about your sister - the end result is obvious. Shelly, you have done the right thing by seeking help. We frequently say to others "You've got too much on your plate," "This is just too much for you to have to handle at one time," etc., and MOST OF THE TIME - it really is a lot, but even though there is a lot, we can still deal with it even if it isn't easy. In your case, there are no ifs, ands or buts about it - this is too much for anyone to handle without help, and I mean ANYONE. I am praying for you every day, Shelly. God IS on your side. I know it doesn't look like that right now, but someday, you'll see. You'll see for yourself in some way that God is on Shelly's side. By the way, if you read my last post to you, I was wondering if God sent you that special person I talked about, the person that gave you hope or pointed you in the right direction to find help. I'm just always curious to know exactly how God helps people. Like I said before, he usually helps through a person, and I just wondered if you have met him/her yet. Love, Peggy

Thank you all for your comforting words. My dad's service was wonderful. The pastor spoke the perfect words about our dad, and the service at the cemetery was especially moving. Five of our dad's friends from The American Legion raised the flag, received the command, "Our comrade has fallen", did a gun salute firing the rifles three times, and another one played taps on a bugle. It was very moving and well-deserved because he was a soldier and very patriotic. My brother was presented the flag which was also very moving and in his words, "That is now my most precious possession." I thought you all might like to read the poem we selected for the brochure - it was so appropriate. Thank you all again for your kinds words. I will be back posting soon and responding to PMs, but it may be a couple of days. Here's the poem: GOD'S GARDEN God looked around His garden; He found an empty place He then looked down upon this earth and saw your tired face. He put His arms around you and lifted you to rest God's garden must be beautiful, He always takes the best. He knew that you were suffering; He knew you were in pain He knew that you would never get well on earth again. He saw that road was getting rough and the hills are hard to climb So He closed your weary eyelids and whispered peace be thine. It broke our hearts to lose you but you didn't go alone For part of us went with you the day God called you home. Love to all, Peggy

My friends, The long, hard battle my dad has fought for years, especially the last five months is over. He joined my mom in the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ at 1:47 p.m. today. My dad was a kind, compassionate, loving man. He was in the U.S. Army Air Force during World War II, was married to my mom for 51 years at the time of her death, raised four children, has three grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. He was a truck drive for an asphalt company and retired in 1992. He was 76 years young. My brother, my two sisters, my pastor and me were all with him at the time his sweet heart stopped beating. My husband was also with us all morning, but went home so he could be with our son when I called him with the news. My dad had a very hard life, but no matter how bad things ever were, he was always optimistic. Whenever I was sad or worried, he always said, "Think positive, baby, think positive." Those were his very words to me when I told him about my husband's diagnosis through my tears. Since Jan. 30, 2004 he has been in the hospital, ICU twice, an acute long-term care hospital, and most recently in a skilled care nursing facility. When he left his home in an ambulance at 5:00 a.m. on Jan. 30, he never thought for a minute that he would never go back home again. He kept "thinking positive." He won the hearts of every nurse in every facility that touched him. He winked at them, flirted with them, made them laugh, and always smiled at them and never - NOT ONE TIME - ever complained about anything. NEVER! Even though he was on a ventilator, feeding tube and couldn't talk, he never complained and he always smiled at everyone. ALWAYS! He returned by ambulance to the same hospital in ICU where he started this whole journey in January, and was cared for by two of the same nurses that fell in love with him in February, and his pulmonary doctor for the past 15 years. Both of the nurses said to me that when they saw the name of the person that was coming in, they said, "Oh no, not Cliff." He was the best. All four of us are really going to miss our dad. We will be saying good-bye to him Sunday at 4:00 p.m. Love, Peggy

Ginny, I am so happy that you and Earl have a plan. I'm supporting you 100%. I responded to your PM. Keep in touch. Love, Peggy

Tiny's right. Email your picture to Rick and he will be glad to do it for you. Just had to comment that even though it's a blurry picture, you have two gorgeous daughters, and of course, a great looking guy. Peggy

Gee, Jane, it is really true that when it rains it pours. I am TOTALLY uneducated about your husband's condition and am TOTALLY of no help here. What I can do, though, is tell you that I love you, care about you, and will pray for you and your husband. Will that help? Love, Peggy

Hi Makwa, I see you found this thread where we were hunting you down. Isn't it great to have friends that care about you? I'm sorry you are still having stomach troubles. What are the names of the chemo drugs you are getting? You said something about "staying here". Where is here? Did someone help you to get to a facility or someplace closer to your doctors so you could get treatment? Don't stay away so long, Makwa. We are a bunch of worry warts here. God bless you, Peggy

Don, You are getting way ahead of things here. I don't understand your statement about one step forward and two steps back. There is no doubt about the fact that your mom could die from this disease, but there is also no doubt about the fact that she might not. Some do and some don't. We don't know for sure why some do and some don't, but that's just the way it is. If you are reading the other posts on this website, you are reading posts from many survivors who even have advanced cancer, but they are still here and still winning, even the elderly. Your mom has as good a chance as any of the rest of the survivors on here. You need to think more positive. From one caregiver to another, whether you realize it or not, the way you confront your mother with this disease is going to greatly determine the way she mentally fights against it. I'm not one of the people that believes that it's ALL mental, but I am definitely a believer that mental attitude can greatly influence how a person feels physically and how hard a person will fight the disease. Come on now. Be your mom's cheerleader. I think that's probably what she needs right now. Just my two cents. Smile and take your mom out for a hot fudge sundae. Love, Peggy

Kelly, I am so sorry for this very great loss. Your sister is a very beautiful lady. I can't imagine losing one of my wonderful sisters. May God bless you with His comfort and peace. Love, Peggy

Oh, Nina, I AM SO GLAD TO HEAR THIS NEWS!!!! Love, Peggy

Congratulations, Dave. That is truly very good news. I'm too fat to cross anything except my fingers, so you'll have to settle for finger-crossing. I do pray real good, though, so I'll be sure to do that. God bless, Peggy

Hi Renee and WELCOME! I think you will be very glad you found this website. You will get more support, love and concern here than probably anyplace else on earth. Church is good, too, of course, but the thing that is so special here is that you can talk, talk, talk, talk about the disease as much as you want. You can talk about the details, the technical stuff, the treatments, the feelings, the ups and downs. You can talk use expressions like PET, NED, ED, onc, rad, dx, tx, NSCLC, SCLC, PCI and WBR and we all know what you're talking about. People on the outside hearing those things would probably think we're talking about computer viruses. Our wonderful friends and family just don't get into the depth that we all really need. I'm so glad you found us, but as others say, we sure wish you didn't have to. God bless you, Peggy

Cat, You're scaring me. I read your post and my heart started to race - I mean really race, and I had to choke back tears. I saw your new avatar first on another thread and I didn't understand what it meant, but now I think I do. I can't even begin to relate to the insurance problems because we don't have that issue, but I can very much relate to bad news PET scan reports. Our first reaction was despair, next was anger, then came action. Cat, I'm no doctor, but all of these areas that lit up sound like they might be fairly small, except for maybe the lung tumor. My husband's whole body practically lit up, intensely in 3 or 4 areas - even his heart, but we're not giving up. In addition, he has multiple brain mets that don't even show up in a PET scan. You just can't despair and check out with this report. Like the others have said, it might not be that bad. I can understand frustration and concern, and even tears and anger, because you are fighting this thing alone and especially with the financial concerns, but those are not good reasons to call it quits. You are so precious. You are just so precious to all of us. You are precious to God. You are precious to your daughter. We need you here on this earth fighting with the rest of us and you need to be here until God says it's time for you to go. HE'S THE BOSS OF YOU!!! Cat, I love you. ((((((((((((((CAT)))))))))))))))) Love, Peggy

Dear Lisa, I am so sorry for your loss and for the rest of your family. I have already prayed and asked God to bless you with His comfort and peace. God bless you, Peggy

Ginny, Once again, I am so sorry for this news. I'm sure you are overwhelmed with a feeling of despair. I know that feeling well. Remember what you told me when I got bad news - the first few days are the worst. In a few days, you will both feel better about all this. You may not have any answers by then, but some of this heavy weight of today and tonight will lift. At a time like this no words are adequate, and the only thing that helps is great big long bear hugs and tears. I think you've got a lot of all of that here today, and here's one big bear hug from me, too. ((((((((((((((((((((GINNY)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Addie: Wow! That was great what you posted - just great! Love, Peggy

Thank you, my friends. You are the BEST. Dad is worse this morning and the decision has been made. The following letter below was faxed about 15 minutes ago: Dear Dr. ******: In light of our dad’s current condition, my family and I have decided we want to exercise his wishes under his Living Will and have the ventilator life support gradually withdrawn. We understand that the ventilator could keep him in his current condition for quite a long time, thus prolonging the natural process of death. He is incoherent and unable to communicate with us at this time. After a conversation with Hospice at Witham Hospital in Lebanon, I understand that you would have to approve this and contact a doctor that works out of that hospital in order to have our dad transferred. Will you approve this? If yes, do you know a doctor that you can contact in Boone County that works out of Witham Hospital? If not, my dad’s sister, **********, who lives in Lebanon, will contact her doctor and see if he will take care of this. If something cannot be worked out with Witham, is there a hospice facility in Montgomery County that you can contact? Please let me know immediately. We would like to get him transferred today or tomorrow. My cell phone number is *********. Thank you for your help.

Nina, I will definitely pray for you and already have. Just a thought on the bronchitis. I had the most severe bronchitis last winter, at Christmas time. I coughed so hard that I broke a rib. I finally got better with two rounds of Z-Pack (antibiotic) and a steroid dose-pack (6 days of steroids), but it took a couple of months to fully recover. If the tests show bronchitis only, maybe you could ask to try those meds. Let us know what you find out. Love, Peggy

By the way, I just read my first post, and I guess I forgot to tell you his blood pressure. It's been 68/23, 78/50, etc., but this morning it was 119/50.

Good morning. Thank you, Betty, for your sweet note. Some of you will just be getting up and reading this post and I have some more thoughts on this now. I called to check on my dad this morning. He's about the same, but his blood pressure is a little better. His O2 is 84% and they can't get him to open his eyes. I think I'm leaning toward going ahead and calling the doctor today to try to get a transfer arranged but to schedule it for Friday if he's still like he is now. Since the machine says he is making no effort on his own, and if that is still the case by Friday, it will have been one week. By that time, if he still isn't responding to us, I feel he won't have any muscle strength remaining to even try to breathe on his own even if his vital signs get better. His quality of life right now is zero. I just can't stand seeing him like this anymore. I'm going to send an email to all my family and see if we can get 100% agreement for Friday. The final decision falls to me, but it will make me feel better if I have my brother and sisters' support. I know I already have my dad's sister's support. Thank you all for taking the time to read this. Love, Peggy

Well, Kathi, tell him I was going to mention the nose hairs, but . . . . .