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Happy and Sad (not cancer related)


stand4hope

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Hi everybody,

I'm just writing to ask you all to throw a few prayers and positive thoughts our way. Our son is moving to Arizona today, driving nearly 1800 miles. He has a really good job offer there doing pipeline excavating work, heavy equipment. This is something he is really good at and the jobs in Indiana are few and far between since 9/11.

I'm being a typical mommy (even though he is 27-years-old). I'm happy and sad. My husband and I have supported this 100%. Everything from job to housing to income to climate to friends has all turned up nothing but positive vibes, so we are thrilled. Yet, deep down under the thrilled, I'm still fighting back tears. Guess this is normal - to be happy and sad at the same time - mixed emotions.

He firmly looked me in the eye and told me if I was going to cry to not come near him because he doesn't want that to be the last thing he sees as he drives away. I won't - but it's just so far away.

We love Arizona, have vacationed there several times. We almost moved there in the 70s. I'm trying to focus on the fact that it will be fun to visit.

He leaves in two hours. Prayers for a safe trip and success in Arizona are requested (and also a calm mom, too) :)

Love,

Peggy

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Ah, Peg.....it's not easy being a mom, even of adult kids....is it? :wink:

In a few months....it will be DH and I who will be doing the leaving....also for Arizona. Our oldest is pretty firmly ensconced here....and we just LOVE his girlfriend who will be his wife, we have no doubt. So to be leaving this area just as he is settling down and buying a house and has fallen in serious love....is hard.

Our youngest is pretty firmly ensconced in the Chicago area....also with a girlfriend who, truth be told, I'm quite happy to be some distance from. :roll:

But my point, is that sons go live their lives in a more independent way, generally, than daughters do. And sometimes this takes them a long distance away. This is why my hubby and I have decided to do the same....although it tears at my heart some. We've had it with snowy winters so are headed towards the sun.. This might be the last Christmas I have in MY home with both my boys around for some of it. Once we move.....who knows what will happen? :(

My youngest has gotten used to my tears every time he comes and goes...which is at Christmas now....and that's generally the only time I see him. Once a year for a few days. This year, he's in grad. school so I'll get him for a whole week!! :D

But these changes aren't always so easy to adjust to, are they? I'll send you some "no tears" vibes....that you can get thru his leave-taking without tears....and then shed them after he's on the road. Hang on to that thought of visiting him in AZ....and how much you enjoy it out there. I'm hoping our boys will find reason to come visit us for some winter sunshine too! :wink:

We're supposed to raise them up to be self-sufficient and competent and able to make decisions for themselves. But then when they do all that...a little part of our "mother's heart" weeps for the days when they simply depended on us, eh? I know you'll cope and be proud and go visit in the desert and all will be fine. But first....wave him off with a smile...and then go cry your tears after he's on the road. He'll be fine and so will you Peg....but I do know what you're feeling.

Sending a commiserating hug.....

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Oh Peggy...I'm so sorry and so happy for you at the same time. It's times like this that I am so grateful mine are still too young to leave the nest (but only times like this :wink: ).

Try to be strong and think about those wonderful family reunions out in Arizona and I'll be thinking of you all day long today and sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.

By the way...I never realized we were "state" neighbors...what part of Indiana are you in?

Take care today and I'll be thinking of you!

Love,

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Addie, Beth & Fay,

Thank you so much. I can tell you all three can identify with how I'm feeling. There's actually been a slight delay - he's leaving at 5:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. It's a long story, but it's for the best. We did say good-bye, and I did not cry at all. Just waved and smiled, and immediately ran into the house and bawled my eyes out. Got hugged by hubby and told to "cut it out."

Trouble is, now we have to do it again in the morning. He's planning to leave when hubby leaves for work, so I will probably just stay asleep so I don't have to go through it again.

I updated our picture. This was taken today.

Love to all,

Peggy

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Peggy,

I send you all my good vibes for the day. I know how hard it is to have them "leave the nest", but my two live in the same county to at least I can see them. With cell phones, you two can keep in touch on a regular basis and probably have more conversations. My son is in construction as well, though he has stopped driving heavy equipment. I still worry about him daily, but he is 34 and has a family of his own.

He will be ok Peggy. I know that doesn't make it any easier on you, but think of all of the time you will have with your husband now...you can just order in for two if you want to. I'm thinking about you.

Nina

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Oh Peggy, I have sure been in that place! I live in MI. and one of our daughters moved to Albuquerque several years ago. It felt like someone yanked my heart out even though I knew it was a good move for her and her family. She is happy there, and we see her fairly often, but I do know how it feels to hate having all those miles between you.

Praying for you to be brave and for his trip to be good and for his new adventure to be a blessing.

Love

Nell

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Peggy.

I am so happy and so sad, too. I know this is good for Mike, but if one of my kids called now and said they were moving ONE inch farther from me, I would be crazy!

I raised them to be independent and self sufficient--well, pretty much so, but you know the story, lol. And in the end, the fact that they are living lives without my constant meddling lol, gives me a great deal of comfort.

I miss them. You will miss Mike, but I know you also are finding some comfort in his spreading of wings.

love and of course fortitude, my friend

elaine

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Well Peggy I just had to chime in on this one. Hope you don't mind.

The old Empty Nest Syndrome!!! What can a mother do?? What can a mother say??? IT SUCKS!!! BUT, it does get better!! Kind of think you already know that though. :wink:

Gotta share a little story with you in hopes of bringing a smile to your face, so here goes.

When my daughter moved out 12 years ago, I was crushed, as I'm sure you are too. However, my daughter only moved 4 miles away from home. (yes that was a good thing for me)! HOWEVER, she would return home every single day so she could POOP. Yes, you heard me right, she came home to poop, because she couldn't poop in her new apartment. In her words, it just wasn't like pooping at home! OH JOY!!! :shock::roll: So this went on for about 6 months. Oh yes, the joys of being a parent and of having a safe place to poop! We all still laugh about that to this day.

I think what scared the hell out of me the most was the fact that my husband and I had to figure out how to live life without our kids around. That was an eye opener, but we made it!!! It's like starting over, but it's really nice after a while!!!

Hang in there, it's not easy, but like other things it's doable.

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(((((Peggy))))))

I am sorry I missed this. I cannot even imagine - I have been freaking out because my 7yr old has started calling me MOM and has talked about giving up her blankies :shock: well because MOM, I am just about too old for them - I don't even want to think about her being away from me.

I hope he made his trip safely and as Elaine said - found comfort in spreading his wings (I really liked that!).

Connie - LOL TOO FUNNY about your daughter.

Much Love,

Amy

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Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for all your well wishes.

HE MADE IT!!! Approx. 22 hours total driving time, and he arrived in Chandler, Arizona (a little southeast of Phoenix) a few hours ago. The truck held up, he held up and the weather held up.

Connie: I hope he doesn't have that problem - I'm sure as heck not going to fly him 1800 miles home to POOP! LOLOL!

I shared in a PM last night that I'm completely over being sad. The bathroom and kitchen have been clean when I go to bed at night and are still clean in the morning, and still clean even when I get home from work. Yeeha!!!! I love it!!

He had three experiences that he just loved:

First, he saw a sign that cautioned about dust storms the next ____ miles. He thought that was hilarious and said to me, "You sure don't see those in Indiana."

The second thing, and he was exuberant about this one. He said, "I just passed a sign that said "Caution - Elk Crossing next 68 miles." He yelled - "ELK!!! Can you imagine - ELK! I think my truck would lose to an Elk." All the time, I know he was hoping and praying he would see an Elk. LOL!

The last one was today. He was about 10 miles south of Phoenix and was on the phone with me and said, "Oh my God! I just saw a mountain lion!"

He was awestruck with the scenery in New Mexico and Flagstaff.

Thanks again for all your nice (and funny comments). I'm really doing great, and am in fact excited like a little kid for him.

Love to all,

Peggy

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Peggy--

So glad to read your most recent post!

I don't have children, myself. But I know how much I miss my students after spending a year(s) with them. It's gut wrenching. And their not even "mine".

Three cheers for clean kitchens, happy phone calls, sage arrivals, and great visits!

Melinda

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