The Skinny

[Elaine]

I do have some good news, but not going to post it in "good news" because not all the news is in, and I don't want to jinx any of it.

My liver and adrenals are "clean"!! My husband starts a new job on Monday, which means I am moving sometime (he's moving this weekend), and better yet our new insurance is NOT an HMO. I will once again be in charge of my own "referrals", but I will really be in the middle of nowhere, so....we shall see .

The nightmare with "Dr. Skinny" and her lovely bueauracratic(sp) friends at the clinic continues. It's a saga, but the short of it is, the HMO is conducting an investigation.

Since I no longer trust anyone in the health field--(except, of course oncdoc and Thereas), I have no idea if the investigation holds any meaning or not.

However, there is a lovely young woman at the HMO, who without my insistance, was as horrified as many of you are and decided enough was enough and got an outside "consultant" (paid I am sure by the HMO, so is that really "outside"? to look into the clinic, my current Dr., my former Drs and supposedly what role the HMO, itself, has played in the last 10 months of baloney.

Being the cynic, I am, I have a feeling that somehow this will all turn out to be my fault, lol. I am sure once they get done with pointing fingers at each other, they will point them at me.

Since the results of the investigation will not be available to me, I don't know what it means.

Oh, well. At least I know the young woman at the HMO sees her job as serious, believes in the mission statement of her company, and believes that the word "CARE" is the most important part of the word "healthcare." She's probably new and VERY young!

I made an appointment with a new Dr who I see tomorrow, even though I have not yet been given "permission" to change PCPs. The irony of that would be funny if not so horrible. Lord knows, I would love to tell you about THAT whole story, but I know it would take pages.

There were some troubling things on the CT scan, but I don't really understand the ramifications of them, so I am not going to post that until I can understand what it means.

I am going to try to wrestle my reports and maybe the films from the clinic today.

The rest of my results are unknown to me, since when Skinny finally called back last evening, she was not about to answer questions (now does that surprise me?!) and basically hung up on me, since I guess two questions is her limit.

I want to apologize to the whole board. I have not been in an emotional place where I feel I can post any support, though in my heart and prayers I am posting my care, concern, joy and sadness.

I am truly feeling the effects of what I think has been months of battering at the hands of medical professionals since the day of my DX. The real question I have to ask myself is why I allowed it to continue. It was hopelessness, pure and simple. Denial, too, I guess. Fear, too.

I am trying to heal, but hard to do when the battering continues. I am feeling like Don Quioxoti (sp)-- Except my windmills really are monsters.

I need to get my armour on, because there's less than 6 hours left in this day to badger my caregivers.

love and fortitude

elaine

[Snowflake]

Elaine,

Maybe, instead of offering support, it's your turn to lean...here's MY shoulder, lean away.

I am SO happy for the clear stuff, anxious with you about the rest and crossing my fingers that the Middle-of-Nowhere you are heading to is quick to refer to someplace Somewhere that insurance will pay for. May you end up with a PCP that sees your case as a challenge and rises to the call. May your good fortune multiply and your troubles divide.

I hope this is the beginning of a new story, a closing of the "Book of Bad Care" and an opening to "How it SHOULD Be".

As for letting the bad care go, you can hardly be blamed for believing it would all work out. After all, in SHOULD have (and we should all be rich and beautiful, ya know?).

Don't lose hope, and don't lose my number!

xxoo,

Becky

[Frank Lamb]

Elaine, Good to hear from you.Glad about the clean liver & adrenal etc.Hoping things do a turn for the much better for you.Thanks for letting us know.

[Addie]

Boy, am I happy to hear you got some good news, that hubby is heading back to work...and like Beck, I just hope the good news starts to multiply for you, while the bad news just freakin' ENDS altogether!!

One step at a time, E....and here's hoping the idealism of the young lady at the HMO lasts for a while....eh? I also hope the consultant has a conscience....so maybe everything up to this point won't turn out to be your fault, huh?

Keep us posted as you get more info...but I'm very glad to see everything moving in a more positive direction for you. It's about time....eh?

[SDianneB]

Elaine, there is a time to give support, and a time to take it. This is a time for you to TAKE it, 'k?

I think you're doing swimmingly. I so respect the way you are going at this so methodically, and making them work harder on your behalf.

Di

[stand4hope]

(and we should all be rich and beautiful, ya know?).

Oh, yes, Becky, . . .

And the world would be a better place,

And the world would be a better place

For you, for me . . . . .

... and we all know that's a bunch of baloney, huh? If you will all allow me a moment, as I know this is a little out of character for me: Unfortunately, sh** happens.

Elaine, it's about time you got some of the better things in the world, and I'm trusting all the prayers played a part. I was actually quite bossy with God about the job thing. Geesh! Ya know - a person can only handle so much. Your "so much" was way past "much".

Here's hoping He also pours out His blessings on the rest.

All my love,

Peggy

[Don Wood]

Elaine, so good to see your post. Happy at the positive things happening with you. Keep us posted on the other. Don

[J.C.]

Elaine,

Happy for the good news.

So glad for your post and all the news, good ones.

You gave a lot of support now it is your time to get

some.

Hugs, let us know for all the rest.

J.C.

[Ry]

I am glad you took the time to post and update us. Wishing you more good news once you get all the information.

Oh...and as the historian of the site, you'll want to make a note that on this day Peggy said s*it.

[dadstimeon]

Elaine,

So glad things are going in the right direction for you. You certainly deserve it. Prayers for more good results. Rich

[Nushka]

Elaine,

I am here for you to lean as well. It has been a rough few months for you and I wish it all hadn't happened. But since it did, I hope that this new job and move will lead you to the right place for yourself and treatment if you decide you want it. I think of you often and hope that things turn around for you soon.

Nina

[NellW]

Hi Elaine, So glad to see your post!

First of all, I want to join everyone else and say let us support you!

We are happy to be here for you .

Next, HURRAY, Gary has a new job!! Here's a prayer coming your way that it will be his best ever and that the insurance situation will be your best! As has already been said, it's your turn!

So far so good on the results, and praying for more good news for you.

And Peggy, I am right there with you on the s*it thing, Elaine has had more than her share!!!

No more for her please!

Love you K.

N.