Shar Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Hey all, You know just when I think life is cruising along something always happens. I have had great success with tarceva and it has brought me hope which I didnt think I would have. I have 2 kids, 11 & 14, and I didn't think I would see them finish school, get a job and get married. It broke my heart but I was resigned to it. Now I look forward to the future and I allow myself to think that I will see my kids grow up. Six years ago their father and I divorced. The court awarded him custody due to the fact he doesn't work (long story) and I worked full time. I see them almost every weekend and during the week also. The school holidays are split except for Christmas, he get them for 5 weeks and I get them for 2. Now that I am no longer working, my kids asked to go to court to get them for 3 weeks over Christmas and just a few small time changes for the other holidays. All straight forward I thought. Their father of course has denied me seeing them for any more time, he wants things to stay as they are. My daughter who is 11 is finding it increasingly harder to be away from me. The only reason I was willing to put myself in the stressful position of going back to court was for them. As payback for doing this he has now contacted child support and wants $3800 straight away. Apparently this is owed due to the fact my employer didn't make the right payments from my salary. I am prepared to pay this amount from my life insurance, but he wants the money now. He has told them I have a car and they want to go to court to get me to sell it and pay them. I need this car to get to my appointments and to pick my kids up. It is all I own. All morning I have been crying and wondering when this will all stop. I could go on forever about what he says and does. It is all hateful and we no longer speak since he told me I had got what I deserve when I was diagnosed. I decided then and there that all my energy would go into fighting this disease and not him. My lawyer has said for 3 years that he will do whatever he can to punish me for leaving him. I thought my illness might change him, I mean I was with him for 20 years (since I was 14). Guess not!! Anyway, it has helped me getting all of this out of my system. I have moments where I get so down and wonder if he has defeated me. I don't feel as though I can deal with his hate anymore. Thanks for listening to my rambling, sorry it it like a soap opera!!! Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Sharon, Every day that you get up and are not with him, you have won. Every day that he sees you don't "need" him, you have won. Every day that you live is one more day farther from him. Be kind to yourself, and talk to your attorney. HE (the ex) doesn't call the shots, the judge does. Make your attorney earn his pay. Standing in your corner, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorja Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 I am so sorry that you are going through this while you are fighting this disease. I can't believe that your ex has the nerve to say something like that! I don't know what to say except that I hope everything works out. love, jorja Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 I've got a good, old fashioned Oklahoma can of 'whup-a**' I would like to open up on this boy. Just send me the address. Until then, I'll just send you the love instead. Sorry you have to deal with all of this, too. Thank God your kids haven't been drug so far under yet that they can't see you, and they want even more time with you. Hugs to ya, Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Sad ~ especially for your children. God's blessings, dear. Love and support P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leslie221 Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Sharon, Oh friend, I am so sorry you have such a stressful and unecessary problem to deal with. It all seems overwhelming right now, but when you break it all down into bite-size pieces, it's all solvable and do-able. That attorney of yours has to rise to the occasion and protect you. Any ex who pulls this kind of behavior is unreasonable. Thank God you left him! Your children will grow to resent him for his behavior and it will all backfire on him. That's what seems to happen when one parent plays ugly games like this. As I read your post, I kept thinking, "He's just like cancer, bringing unwanted hardship and stress into her life." You're winning against the cancer, Sharon, and you will certainly win against him! He only has a few weapons to throw at you and the courts will help disarm him. Your kids love and respect you. You'll have more and more of that as they grow up and become more independent. It WILL turn out for the best. One day at a time. Let us re-fill the well, boost you up with confidence, support you, listen to you, and remind you that, no matter what he does he can't take away your children's love for you or your own self-respect. Get some rest, friend. Tomorrow is another day. You'll feel a little stronger, you'll get some more answers, you'll start to see a way through this. And, hopefully, he'll step in a big pile of fresh dog poo or walk directly under the largest flock of seagulls ever spotted in your area! Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 My buddy, jimben, knows some guys with some big sticks who will pipe him and set him in the trunk...right, Jim? (b*stard) Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Just say the word!!!! Vinnie and Tony are just chomp'n at the bit. jim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 (((Sharon))), So sorry to hear you have such a situation to deal with. I have no expert advice, just know I will be hoping for the best for those kids and standing in your corner as well. Best wishes and keep on going - we will help you. Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 ugh. I feel for you, and your kids, I really do. all other battles should stop mattering when LC comes along, and you should get that time with your kids. the ex sound like one angry mofo. use your lawyer, and don't let him suck the life out of you! you can do this, shar. we're with you. xoxo amie PS. I have a few irish bikers who'll join jimben's crew if need be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Oh Sharon what a horrible situation to be in. But I know you will prevail and this will be just a distant memory. What goes around comes around, and he is such a loser that you kids will come to know that. You just keep being the loving mom you are. Love conquers all. You do whatever is necessary to get through this. There is light at the end of your tunnel. One day there will be nothing but darkness for him in being such a lowlife scoundrel. I am praying for you for strength I know some goodfellows from South Philly who are good at breaking knees. You take care and know we are all pulling for you. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Shar...your ex sounds like a real jerk! How could anyone possibly be this insensitive and uncaring? Doesn't he even think about what his own children want? I'm so sorry that you're forced to deal with this right now. Your attorney should really have some good things that will take care of your ex. Put the burden on his shoulders...that's what he's paid to do. I'm sending hugs to you ((((((((((((Shar)))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 I agree with Becky's advice. It is not about your ex --- it is about your children and you. Do what you need to do to make each day a growing relationship with your kids. Blessings. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shar Posted November 8, 2005 Author Share Posted November 8, 2005 Thanks so much guys for your kind words. I am trying to lift myself out of this and focus on the court hearing which is coming up. I am just so glad I have you guys. You are all so wonderful. Sharon x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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