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Getting to Know You - November 11


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I would say that true love is caring more for someone else than you do for yourself and being able to put the needs, wants and wishes of that person above your own. True love is looking into the eyes of that special someone and being able to see into their soul.

When younger, true love was all about a magical feeling. It was about fireworks when you kissed, electricity when you touched. Now...I know all that is merely a myth...something to read about in novels and look forward to.

Now, at this stage of life, I think true love is about sharing and caring. It's about holding someone's hand while they sit for chemo treatments. It's about listening to dreams that may never come true. It's about lying awake all night, just to remember what every line in their face looks like, just so you'll never forget. It's about being there and holding their hand when the good Lord calls them home. As Kenny Chesney would say....that's the good stuff!

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I would hope that "true love" would be a healthy form of love. Valuing another above yourself at all times is not healthy, sacrificing for a child while the child is still growing is a parent's love, but a relationship/significant other love shouldn't be just being the sunshine for their growth to the detriment of yours. True love should be mutual, containing mutual respect, giving more than half when needed and accepting mor than half when in need, true love should continue to grow and always contain fireworks - maybe not the grand finale that is the 4th of July, but fireworks just the same.

True love would be finally finding someone who takes you as you are, warts and all, and returning the same. True love is seeing beyond the "noise" to the person on the inside and understanding what makes them tick. True love is appreciation for differences, recognition of kindredness. True love is knowing something isn't "fair" and helping someone through being on the unfair side. True love is sharing strengths and overcoming weaknesses. Sometimes, true love is knowing that you just aren't right for each other and stepping away...

True love is someone who will hold your hair when you're pukin', be it still attached to your head or not. Someone who holds not just your hand, but your heart.

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I wrote this two years ago when I was facing the first aniversary of Johnny's death. When I was young I saw love as the happily ever after. I never thought of love as pain or something that grew but as something that would always stay the same. As you can see my ideas and ideals have changed a lot.

I have been thinking about love and how I would discribe it. Love is sharing someones thoughts and feelings and respecting those things and knowing it is returned. Love is taking a person as they are and not wanting to change them or make them over.

Love is acceptance of flaws and not only accepting but having pride in the person because you know the flaws are a part of them. Love is wanting to lift someone up when they are low and love is wanting to lift someone higher when they are high.

Love is a touch or a look that needs no words and love is the joy of just being. Being loved is the most wonderful thing but being able to love totaly and unconditonally is the most precious of gifts.

Love is just knowing without words and love is words that mean one thing to others but have special meaning between two people who love. Love is silly little pet names and love is tears and hope and pain. Love is what life is all about.

Love is the most powerful force in the universe and beyond. Love is life, hope and dreams. Love is the eternal force and I believe that God is love.

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I always thought I knew what true love was when I met my now husband 10 years ago. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband to pieces, but the first moment I laid eyes on my boys when they were born I really felt what love truely was all about. Unconditional, all consuming love. There's nothing I wouldn't do for them, or for my husband. My love for him grew, and grew. With the boys it was instantly.

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Dh and I counsel engaged couples in our church's marriage prep program. One of the trainers told us this story:

As Bill and Sarah got older, Sarah became crippled with arthritis. She could barely take care of many aspects of her life, and Bill had to wash her feet for her each day in the shower, because Sarah just couldn't do it anymore.

One day Sarah asked him if he had thought they would ever end up this way, and said she was sorry that they couldn't make love anymore.

Bill asked her, "What do you think we do each time I wash your feet?"

That's true love. Doing anything you can for another (spouse, child, parent, etc) just because you love them.

:) Kelly

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True love is acceptance of what there is, has been, what will be, and what will never be again.

When I was a teenager, I went around all the time saying that I would never compromise when it came to finding my soul mate, getting married, etc.

Now, after many years of experience and wisdom, I see that love is full of compromise and that is what makes it so special!

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True love is what my husband and I share. We do what ever we can to make the other happy. We comprimse alot, talk for hours on end every night when we go to bed. We go to bed at the same time so if you see I am up this late, so is hubby. Right now he is downstairs showering as I wait for him to go to bed. We laugh hysrericly like little kids together and we also cry together. We feel the others moods and feelings and usually can help without ever saying we know you are feeling down etc.

He tells me all the time I am his rock, I laugh and think of how frail I have been at times and have always thought of him as my rock. When we are in bed and our I love you's and goodnights are said we cuddle together and go to sleep feeling the strenghth of the others love and we both say how safe we feel.

I have never been loved by anyone as I have by him, no ones knows me better or has seen me at my worst any more than he has but he has always been there to pick me up. He on the other hand says the same. We are always telling eachother how lucky we are to have found one another. God Has brought us together until death do we part.

God Bless you all,


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I read over all of our responses and I keep going back to yours Jane. What you describe is so much like what I had with Johnny. I have no doubt that you know how blessed you are :!:

Right now I am thinking of a conversation that I need to have with my son. My granddaughter's fiance went into the army right after they graduated from high school in the Spring. He has a few more months of training then he will be sent to Iraq. They want to get married before he leaves. My son is trying to talk them out of it.

He can't afford another large wedding it's only been a year and a half sense Alison got married. He is also paying part of Erica's college. I think that is just part of it. He wants to see her finish college like her sister. The thing is she really doesn't want college. She wants to get married and have babies. She wants to follow Jack wherever he goes once he gets back.

I have my fears for her. I don't want to see her a widow at 20 with a child to raise and that could very well happen. Still I never interfered with my children. I always knew that we don't chose who we love.

I hate to think of her living like I have always worried about where the next penny will come from. It would be good for her to finish school and be a teacher on a military base wherever they live. That is not what she wants. I know what it can mean when someone interfers even if their intentions are the best. I know only too well that the window to happiness can last a very short time. It may be a mistake and it may not last but she deserves a chance. A chance that I never had.

No matter what happens if she can have just 5 months like I did with Johnny it would be something to treasure for the rest of her life. I wish her a life time of happiness but I know that can be a very rare thing. You have to grab what you can and not let it slip away.

I just hope I can make my son see that as hard as it may be.

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