Martha02 Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 the morphine because she doesn't wake up anymore. I want my mom back. She is fighting so much to stay alive. hopsice said she will propably go today. I never imagine being in so much pain. I guess the nurse said that she woke up yesterday and got out of bed, where did she find that energy is the morphine that is killing her are we speending this up or is the lungs. Her breading is 42 when the mophine starts wearing off. And she tries to talk. But she can't . Idon't find that she looks peaceful. Help I don't knpw what to do. Today her oxygen level went down to 60 and the heart is beatimg 124. Marta
Ry Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 I am sorry for all you are going through. I can only suggest you speak to the hospice nurse or doctor in charge of her care about the morphine.
Treebywater Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 Martha, It could be the morphine, but it sounds more like the dying process. Do talk to the hospice nurses... When she was able to talk was she in pain? When my Mom died, her last two days she was non-responsive. Essentially she was in a type of coma. I think we get these ideas in our head about what we think those last few days are going to look like, and I think often the reality doesn't match the pictures. Mom's decline came quickly over the course of two weeks with every single day bringing something new and more devestating. As I said the last two days she didn't respond at all. PM me if you want. If you have a number to call a hospice nurse, DO SO and ask LOTS of questions. ((((((hugs))))) to you. I know how much this hurts. Just know you are doing all that you can for your Mama, and she knows that too.
cindi o'h Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 Marta, I feel your helplessness in your Mom's dying process. Who invented this thing called death, anyway?? Your Mom is like all of us who are sick or dying. We will do anything to stay alive. We fight for air even if we want to die. It is in our nature to survive. The most important thing right now is that your Mom is not in any pain, I would guess. How horrid it would be if she were lucid and no one could stop her pain and suffering. As it is, you are there with her body and her spirit is also in the room. It must be comforting on some level for your Mom to have you there. Just keep loving her as you have always done. You are good to be paying attention. It sounds, though, as if these are her final good bye breaths. The hospice nurses can usually tell. Ask questions and they will be able to tell you why they think this is so. Take care dear. Hold momma's hand. She doesn't want to be alone. Cindi o'h
babesdaughter Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 Take care dear. Hold momma's hand. She doesn't want to be alone. Cindi o'h Really, there's nothing more that I could say..... but I will...trust your hospice people. They deal with this process every day. Keep communicating with them and tell them your fears about the morphine. YOu are certainly not the first person that has had those kinds of concerns and questions. I wish you peace....it is so hard to lose a Mommy...
ma's kid Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 Oh Martha, my heart just breaks for you...I know how hard and painful this is. I felt the same way when my dad was dying and talking to the hospice nurse really did help. God bless you, Martha Libby
sharyn Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 The whole morphine issue is so darn hard. I struggled with the thought that "I killed my Dad" also... there are posts in here that I have written. I think you need to ask as many questions as you can think of to ease your mind.... There is nothing worse than feeling "guilty" later on... believe me I have walked down that path. I will be praying... Love, Sharon
Laura Ann Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 There are some here who have not had a good experience with Hospice, including myself. I would suggest that you call your mom's primary physician and ask questions. You do not have to take orders from Hospice. If your mom is not in pain they should not be increasing the morphine. Here is a web-site for some guidance: www.hospicepatients.org. Laura
Calintay Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 Martha - My prayers and best wishes are with you. Please talk to hospice and/or doctor regarding your concerns they know best.
Maryanne Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 Martha, I know how it feels to want your mom back. I am so sorry. Please know that I am sending prayers out to her. Hang in there, things can change. Maryanne
Don M Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 Martha: I would trust the hospice people, but you could always run it by your mom's doctor if you want to set your mind at ease. You and your mom have my prayers. Don M
mitzu Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 My dad died jan 2nd, and I felt the same as you did. Your mom is probably gone by the time I'm writing this. Don't ever blame yourself for "killing her with morphine". You would want to be comfortable if you were passing, wouldn't you? Breathing at 42 is too fast. I call that uncomfortable. My dad was doing the same and was asking for pain relief. It must have been hell for him to not be able to slow down. When he finally did, it was getting slower and slower until he was able to rest and looked very peaceful. The mere fact that you were there and made your mom comfortable is a blessing. Don't feel guilty. You did everything right.
shineladysue Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 ((((Martha)))), Sending love and prayers your way. I hope you get answers that will give you comfort. I am so very sorry you are going through this . Love , Sue
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