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Fear


Kel M

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Hi,

I've read that it is quite normal for a person who has lost a loved one to an illness to become slightly paranoid about getting the same disease. In fact, it's a part of grieving that usually fades with time, according to the experts.

Last week, for reasons completely unrelated to cancer, I had to get a chest x-ray. I must admit, that for just a moment I was paralyzed. A chest x-ray is no longer just a chest x-ray. It's what foretold of Mom's illness and ultimately, death.

I thought I handled things pretty well until I got into the room and the technician started to instruct me on how to position my arms - and all I could think about was my tiny Mom, having to do the same thing, time and again. I just about bolted.

I'll hear about the results of this, and an ECG next Wednesday. While I suspect all is well, it has brought a flood of painful memories back.

I wish each and everyone of you a good day.

Kel

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Kel,

I know exactly how you are feeling. I was told that I have a mass and was sent for a CT. When the doctor said "mass" all that came to mind was when my Mom was 1st dx. Scared the crap out of me.

After going through everything with my Mom, I don't know if going to the doctors will ever be the same.

I pray that all is ok with you, and you get your results soon.

Patty

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Kel,

I hear you loud and clear. I am now petrified anytime I have to go to the doctor, take a blood test, pap smear, mammogram, chest xray, anything! I am filled with anxiety about it constantly. It's a terrible way to live. My father was diagnosed in Dec. 2001 and passed away 2 years ago this month. I am still traumatized by the whole thing. I hope it gets better with time. You are not alone.

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I understand that. I recently had to have an emergency hysterectomy because I was losing a lot of blood and my uterus was growing so rapidly that it worried by gynecologist (the path report says it weighed 853 grams, normal size 60 grams). I was so scared it was cancer that my brothers flew in from Texas and Arkansas to be with me. I found out that it scared them, too. Luckily, no cancer, but I can't tell you the relief when I got the pathology report.

On the positive side, it does make me pay closer attention and live healthier.

Good luck with everything!

Pam

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