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Don Wood

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Don first of all i'm not all that active on the site like i was. But i was just shocked when i read the Obit on Lucy. Don my Alyce has been gone for going on 9 month's and yet it seem's like only yesterday i was still taking care of her. I do not think of my self as single and every week when i go to mass i alway's tell GOD that i am sharing the moment with her . Yes i'm able to function like i should but down deep inside there will more than likely never be that one person again who i feel like i should be with. I may change as time goes on but for now my loyalty is still toward's my wife. My griefing is not the same as your's or any one else's and i'm sure that through your strenght in GOD and your church community that some how you will work it all out and as i posted in your OBIT for Lucy it was you who brought her to us and what a wonderful gift you brought us ........

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Bless your heart, Don! YOU are one amazing person and have helped and comforted many...please know that you are in my prayers daily.

I have no idea what it feels like to be in your shoes and cannot imagine what you are feeling but it's a good thing you are in a grief support group.

Lots of hugs, Don

Libby

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You and Lucy will also be "us" and "we" for a very long time, and it's OK!!! Don't even think of yourself as "single". Don't you think when most people use the word "single" they are usually referring to some young (or younger) guys or gals that are available and looking? I hate the word "widow", but, right now, I would much rather be a "widow" than a "single".

Well said Peggy.

Wishing you the best Don. I can't even imagine how you must feel right now and I hope you are able to cope on some level with the "alone" feeling. Just wanted to let you know I care.

Warm fuzzies,

Welthy

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I don't come here often lately just too busy but your post caught my eye when I did come tonight.

"Single" "Alone" to most people those are just words to us they become a way of life :(

There have been two men in my life, Johnny my first and last love and the man I was married to for 41 years. In a little over 3 years they were both gone. I'm "single" and "alone" for the first time in my life. I went from my parents to my husband to my brothers to Johnny. At 58 I found myself "single and alone" for the very first time in my life. It is a very rough road but in time I have learned to cope. I have learned to live with that hole in my life. It will never be easy, the pain never really goes away but I have somehow managed to make a life of sorts for myself. A life that depends on myself, my friends and family and above all God.

We sang a new song in church yesterday, at least it was new to me. I don't remember the words just bits and pieces but when I saw it I said "that's my song". It says something about going to God broken and defeated and Him giving me a new or good life. So Don don't forget you may now be known as single but you will never really be "alone". God bless and help you through these hardest of days. Lilllian

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(((Don)))

I understand exactly what you mean Don. I still don't feel like I'm a "single" even though I know that is how the rest of the world sees me now. The first time I had a doctor's appointment following Keith's death (about 2 weeks later), I was filling out the paperwork and I burst into tears because I had to check the widow box. One of the nurses came over and said I didn't have to check that, she crossed it off and checked married for me. That is what I am. I will always be married in my heart to Keith. In fact just recently I had to fill out another form that only gave the options for single, divorced, married, or seperated. No widow option. I stared at it for 5 minutes before deciding I couldn't check single, married made more sense to me. I can't imagine myself being single again.

I still talk like he is here, I talk about him all the time, what he did or what he liked. Just 2 nights ago a friend came over and wanted to order a pizza from Pizza Hut, and I said no, Keith always likes Crossroads' Pizza better. It has a better sauce. I know it doesn't make sense, he isn't there to enjoy it. But the habits and lessons I've learned will be with me I think my whole life.

I feel like this is just a bad dream and he is still at home waiting for me to return. I'm not single.

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Don (my Dad's name is Don too)we lost Mom 7 weeks ago today and when I read your post, I thought of Dad as I'm sure he's feeling and thinking a lot of the same things you are.

My Dad was hospitalized a couple of weeks ago for some test and I was with him as the nurse went through the standard questionaire with him. My heart ached when she asked Dad if he lived alone. His answer was, "I do now".

Don, my thoughts and prayers are with you, as they are with my own Don, as we all figure out what the world is supposed to look like without our best friends.

shauna

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  • 2 weeks later...

Don,

I don't pretend to know how you feel, but I saw what my mom went through after 53 yrs. of a wonderful marriage. It's been 7 yrs for her now and she has ajusted. She will never be the same. Single was very hard for her also.

Iam very sure Lucie is watching and taking care of you. My heart and prayers are with you. You have been a great support for so many people on this site. I hope we're doing the same for you, Don.

Take care and be kind to yourself. Support groups can be a great help. Good luck to you!

Love,

Mare

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