Guest Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 The last 3 weeks have passed in a blur. I have to thank Kathy for letting you all know that Hugh lost his battle. I was in the hospital with Hugh and the kids were afraid to get online when they were home because it ties up the phone lines. Then when I got home last Sunday I found that my online service has changed their dial up provider and I couldn't get online at all. Since then I have tried to contact them and fix my problem but they haven't returned my phone calls. I finally signed onto another provider because I needed to be here. I stayed the entire 2 weeks with Hugh at the hospital. The kids brought me clothes and food. Thank God for them. We didn't see this coming. Pretty silly given the circumstances. He contracted pneumonia that just didn't seem to respond to antibiotics. We had several infectious disease specialists working with us and finally his labs started to improve. However, as his labs improved he just got worse. The doctor said the pneumonia was like pulling the bottom can out of a pyramid. While we were treating the pneumonia the cancer went crazy. Even though his cancer had spread to his liver, back, brain and other lung, Hugh still fought the battle and didn't get discouraged. In the hospital near the end he knew he was losing and he gave me all his instructions, made sure I knew where everything was in the house and asked me to go on with my life. I WILL go on because anything less than that would be an insult to Hugh. He faced the death of his loved ones many times and handled it so well. I have to do this for him. I don't know how yet because without him I just don't know who I am. I feel like nothing without him. Life just seems to stretch out in front of me meaningless. No one to hug me when I am sad, or ask me how my day went when I get home from work. Just emptyness. Well over 300 people attended his wake, what a wonderful tribute to him. I wanted our boys to know how well-liked and respected he was, as well as my family. I think they already knew but it was a comfort to see his friends there. At first he requested no funeral then he said no, that we should do whatever we needed to do for us but to please not make it an elaborate thing. He requested the casket be closed and I honored that request but inside he was wearing his favorite jeans, flannel shirt and the welding hat he ALWAYS wore. The doctor wrote me a letter of sympathy saying he thought Hugh was a fine man who bore up amazingly well in the face of such a serious illness. He expressed hope that someday we will find a cure for this horrible disease. I will certainly do whatever I can, however small - donations or volunteer time to help. As my son said last night after the last of our friends left after the funeral - now the healing begins. I don't know how yet but I know I will heal and go on and I will do it for Hugh. Thank you to everyone on this board who has helped me get through this last year. I will continue to be here because it is such a comfort. Candy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candy Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Of course you can see that the above message was from me. I wasn't logged on. My mind isn't working very well right now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Candy, my heart is so saddened at your loss of your dear Hugh. We appreciate you taking the time to let us know where you are in all this. And I am pleased to hear you will stay connected. That will help you and us. You have made Hugh so real to us. Thank you for that. And you are right, do move on for Hugh in the time you need. Blessings. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Candy, How strong you are to have written such a beautiful message to us regarding Hugh. I don't know where you have gotten this strength but hold on to it. I to am so sorry for you and your sons lost of Hugh but someday you will all be together again. God Bless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrie Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Candy- What a strong and inspirational person you are - I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I feel like words are just not enough right now, but know that I will keep you and your children in my prayers as you heal. Terrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Dear Candy I was deeply saddened and shocked to learn of Hugh's passing. I am so sorry for your loss. I feel like I knew him and you very well through your postings even though we never met. I pray that God will give you the strength to get through the next days and months. You sound like a very strong woman but I am sure it will be a very difficult time. I sincerely hope you will continue to post, you have a lot to offer to all of us who are going though this horrible disease. God bless you and your family Bess B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobmc Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Dear Candy; I am so saddened by this news. As Don said, you have made Hugh seem so real to us. Please accept my deepist sympathies, I am so very sorry for your loss. May God keep you, may you heal quickly and always remember the happy times. God bless you and your family Bobmc -NSCLC- syageIIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01 " absolutely insist on enjoying life today!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Oh Candy, I don't know what to say...I am so sad for you and your family. Yes, you will get through this very difficult time...there is really no other choice. You were so kind to me when my Dad was diagnosed, thank you for that. God bless you and your family. If you need me I'm here. Lynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 I am deeply sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 Candy, I was so shocked and saddened to see this earlier today that I couldn't even respond. There are no words.....I am so sorry. You are an amazing woman. Blessings to you and your family, Peg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mittlers Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 Candy, I'm so sorry I hate cancer. Susan M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandyS Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 Candy - Your love for Hugh shines right thru in your writing - may that "light" help you thru this next rough period..........so sorry for your loss. Hugs and prayers, SandyS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berisa Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 Hi Candy, sorry sorry for your loss. You are such a strong lady that you definitely can get through any bad times ahead you will have. You have a clear mind and clear goal to live on, really thanks God for your boldness. You are not alone, you have friends, sons and us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted October 6, 2003 Share Posted October 6, 2003 Dear Candy, I am sooo sorry. I will pray that God gives you strength to help mend your broken heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ginnyde Posted October 6, 2003 Share Posted October 6, 2003 Candy, I am so sorry. It must be very difficult for you but please know there are many here who are praying for your peace and comfort. Ginny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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