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I think I'm losing it tonight

j's girl

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It's been a really tough week and I feel like everything is overflowing tonight. My husband has been in the hospital for just over a week and is having his second surgery tonight in a hospital that is 2 hours away from me. He has an absessed muscle that is being drained surgically for the second time within a week. A couple of days ago my Dad went to emerg with rectal bleeding. Just before Christmas he had surgery for colon cancer and was told they got it all and no other treatment was needed. It's a pretty scary symptom to come out of the blue like that. I can't reach him or my brother by phone tonight and have to wonder if there is another emergency there that they haven't told me about because of my husband's condition.

What really makes me lose it is when I think that my Mom would be here for me, and should be here for me. I'm having such a hard time being the only parent for my 2 year old, plus work, plus run a business, plus take care of my husband's business inquiries, and farm plans. I'm falling apart and have no where to turn right now. I know a good night's sleep will help. As long as my husband's surgery goes well, I'll be much better in the morning. Please say a prayer for us.


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First let me say my dad just had the same symptom two weeks ago (he was treated for colon cancer last summer). He went in a blind panic to the doctor and the doctor said it's VERY normal. The blood vessels around the rectum are weakened from treatment and this is a normal side effect. I hope this eases your mind a bit, that it probably is just that.

Go give your little one a hug and soak in his love...I find that calms me when I feel like I'm losing it. It sounds like your plate is overflowing right now, and I hope things get better soon....

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Shauna, I'm saying prayers. It sounds as if you family has had more that their share of problems and suffering. I know how heavy your shoulders must be by now. You know, this is a great place to come and vent and just "let it all out." Maybe that's just what you need...a good rant and rave session.

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Hi Shauna,

I read your post and my heart goes out to you. You seems so lost and so overwhelmed. Things will change they always do. Hang in there and know we are thinking of you and sending prayers to you and for your DH.

Looking forward to an update. I pray it will be a good one.


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Thank you so much everyone. I just needed somewhere to turn to vent. I am so thankful to have you all in my life even though I wish none of us had a need to be here.

My husband is still in the hospital. He's had 3 surgeries in less than 2 weeks. Hopefully we're nearing the end of this. Wed they will do a CT scan and if the muscle that has been absessed looks good, he can come home. They still haven't identified the cause of all this. He'll need time to heal before they start doing more tests.

My instinct was fairly acqurate with Dad. He was in the hospital but it turns out that he has (or I guess I should say had) hemmoriods. His surgeon took care of them for him.

It really seems like Mom's lung cancer battle and death has caused a real cascade of illness in my family. I think Dad's colon cancer was probably brought on by the stress of everything. My husband's docs think his absess may be due to Crohn's that flaired because of extra stress. And I've had some issues with my ulcerative colitis lately.

Lung cancer definitely doesn't happen in a bubble. The effect of one person's illness has a huge impact on many people both directly and indirectly connected to the person diagnosed. My boss at work has been sick all winter and I can't help but wonder if the stress of my absence because of all the illness in my family could be partly to blame. We are the only 2 in our office and she always has to find someone to replace me. Even though my boss never met my Mom, I think Mom's lung cancer has effected her.

I'm starting to ramble. Better go to bed!


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A serious illness touch everybody

around you and with time stress

is there so you may be right

it may have started with your Mom.

Sending prayers that you husband

gets well and that you can take

time for yourself.

Take care


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I'm so sorry for all of these things coming down on you all at once ........ I know what you mean when your feeling overwhelmed and they are all very tangable things ... nothing you've over annylised etc.

It's far more of a panic with all these things hovering around you .... please remind yourself of this. It's you in a Panic!!!! You have a baby in the house and that is something you need to have just as much focus on as your natural worry for the rest of the family. You do need to do all these tasks in a day on your own ..... so make sure you sleep when you can, relax when you have a moment so that you replenish, conserve ... all the energy needed for everyone ... including yourself. Go to the doctor for some help if needed, not that this will help alone ....

A quick fix for me and my "panic" moments is a vitamin B complex for stress. The short of a long story is I went looking for natural depression relief and found alot about vitamin deficantcy that presents like depression. Folic Acid is a vitiman that will present as confusion, anxioty, spontanious fits of crying and feeling paniced ..... 1mg is the "female" recommendation ... B6 and B12 are main deficentcies that present as depression as well and is great for the brain and the seritonin for natural muscle relaxation your body does. I found it to be very logical, I have digestion problems, all these daily amounts are in red meat ... I can't eat anymore. When I'm upset and stressed out I tend NOT to eat ..... why wouldn't those vitamins I'm not injesting do something???? Sounds logical to me!

If you can't get into the doctor's office or want to try something more natural with a baby in the house .... I highly recommend this approach. It will be labeled as "B complex for stress" "Stress-ease" etc. And just keep on talking and venting .... keeping the information in like it's a secret only festers.

Hope something in there helps.


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Tammy, I've started taking a whole lot of vitamins lately for my UC (including a sublingual B12) and it does make me feel a whole lot better. Plus I'm on Paxil as well. The Paxil has really kept me from coming apart at the seams through everything. A friend actually commented that I was a lot calmer than she would be if she were in my shoes. My reply was that the doc gave me some good drugs.

I don't know if it was a lack of sleep, a grumpy kid, or what, but that night I just couldn't stop crying. I think what set everything off was the thought that I needed help and the one person that I would make a world of difference isn't here anymore. Don't get me wrong, we've had loads of support and offers of help and I appreciate all of them but having Mom here would have made everything easier. I love the rest of my family but there is no one like my Mom!

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