VegasMomOf3 Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 Hi there, I spoke with my Mom a little while ago. She began crying on the phone which is tearing me up inside. She is now on oxygen 24/7 and has been fighting some sort of respiratory infection this week and has been taking antibiotics. So on top of the cancer, she is feeling worse from the infection. My Dad had to go out of town for 2 days so my Aunt has been staying with her. My Mom told me that she was glad to have the 2 days without Dad because it allowed her to make some difficult decisions without having to look at his "sad puppy dog eyes". She says she is getting worse quickly and doesn't want to have any more tests. She wants to try and have as much "quality" time left as she can. She says that she knows that Dad wants her to fight but she just doesn't have it in her and she knows it is going to break his heart. She worries about him once she's gone. I assured her that in time he will understand and accept her decision like we will all have to. OH GOSH I SO HATE THIS DAMN SNEAKY MISERABLE DISEASE!!!!!!!!! She said "how could I have not known I was sick?" I told her that I have read stories here of the same kind - people who had no idea until they went to the doctor with some kind of pain. She's mad at herself for not knowing. She was sobbing on the phone......I'm sobbing now. I have 2 parents to support. Mom who has accepted that she will be gone soon and Dad who dearly wants her to fight. I'm so emotionally torn. I'm going out in 10 days to spend a week with them. HOW THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO LEAVE KNOWING THAT I WONT EVER SEE MY MOM AGAIN?! IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT!! AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peacelover Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 WOW! This is a hard thing to hear your mom say...I wish there was some thing that I can do to make you feel better, make the cancer dissappear... My mom and I had this 'talk' once-about 4 years ago when she had just gotten news that the brain tumors were back and she was sick of being tired all the time and having to not do her favorite things in life anymore...she bounced back maybe your mom will too... I cannot tell you how many times we thought mom was gone, soon...she is still here. I am sending you big buckets of hope-be strong and know that you are blessed to have time with her. Try not to let your trip be tainted with the thought of it is the 'last time' because it might not be! Blessings Melissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 I will be praying for you. I suspect that it will be a comfort to your mom to let her know you will help your dad with her decision and afterwards. Do you have someone to help you? This dieease is awful, no doubt about it. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vespa68 Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 Hi, I just read your post about how your mom didn't know she was sick. My mom broke her arm and had to been seen. While they did x-rays they found the cancer. My mom looks great, is active and in no way saw this coming. I don't want your mom to beat herself up for this because it's not her fault! It is a very sneaky disease. The mindset I am trying to get out of is that cancer puts a time limit on us. Every person regardless how young is not promised tomoorrow. Please go to your mom and have the best time possible and know it probably won't be the last time you will see her. I am sending you big hugs and many prayers your way. Vespa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 I'm glad your mom can vent to you. Mine wouldn't often do that, like she was still protecting me, and I knew she needed that. Mom adapted to her O2 very well. There are LOTS of choices out there on different kinds of O2, depending on how mobile you want to be. Mom even found a system that would allow her to travel by plne, and she enjoyed a trip to Cabo with it. She learned to modify her life somewhat, so she wasn't so winded all the time. I guess I'm just saying that there is the possiblility of a good life while dealing with all of this. Our 'last' Christmas together wasn't the last. I pray that you guys can try and enjoy each moment that you have, but I understand the crippling fear that goes with this b*stard of a disease. Prayers going out for you all. Please be sure and take care of yourself! Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nova Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 I'm so sorry. I sound like a broken record saying that, but there's been so much sadness lately. I can't imagine having to have a talk like that with my mom... it would be heart breaking. It's so hard .....Please know I'm thinking of you. Nova Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dscherer Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 I to am so very sorry! This disease is just so unfair. Several times during treatment my mom had moments. It was the most difficult times for me but I am glad she had someone to share her emotions with. I pray that your family has strength to accept any decision your mom chooses. Share your feelings with her and try to spend quality time with her when you are there! Please know my thoughts are with you, Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredmom959 Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 Do you think your mom would consider at least "trying" treatment to be able to mesure the benefits/negatives? That's how we convinced my mom who was planning to refuse treatment ... we told her to try two or three chemo treatments, provided they didn't make her horribly sick; then they'd do a CT to reevaluate. Best of luck to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 It's an awful conversation, but she loves and trusts you so much, that she has it with you. Been there. It sucks. My mother expressed the same frustrations about not knowing. I never want anyone to ever be snuck up on by this disease ever again. I am so sorry this is all happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missyk Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 I remember that conversation with my Mom...that same frustration she felt at being torn between the need to give herself a break and fighting on for her husband who just wasn't ready to let her go. None of us were, really, but he was the one she saw every day. I'm so sorry that you have the pain of that conversation...and so happy that your Mom trusts you enough, loves you enough, cares about you enough to tell you those feelings. It sucks, and is wonderful all at the same time. Like others...Mom's "last" Christmas wasn't the last, nor was her "last" many things. There's one who knows for sure and He's not tellin' us the when of things. Try to enjoy your trip out to see them!!! Many prayers... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angsexton Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Vegas, I am so sorry to hear that your mom is suffering so much. I know the feeling of watching or hearing a parent go through such a horrific time. Please know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. It's so hard to live away from your parents when they are going through this. I spent a week with my Dad in May and driving away was the most painful experience of my life. You have someone here who will be praying you through this. One piece of advice....don't hesitate to share whatever is on your heart while you are there. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VegasMomOf3 Posted June 26, 2007 Author Share Posted June 26, 2007 Thank you all so very much for your prayers, thoughts & supportive words. Is it strange to say that although I've not met any of you, I feel a "kinship" of sorts? Mom is having a follow-up appointment with her Oncologist today. Hopefully the upper respiratory infection is gone. I spoke to my Dad about the conversation I had with Mom. He told me that she had shared it with him too. I feel that he is realizing so much more now. There seems to be a shift of sorts. Be Blessed, Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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